I often have a chuckle at some of the stories that are deemed as news in the local press, this particular gem was on the BBC Cambridgeshire news website yesterday: ’Vicious’ fox traps eight people in Cambridgeshire sports club

Mr Staines admitted he “tweaked his groin” trying to get away from the marauding animal

What stories are hot news in your neck of the woods?

It’s a load of rubbish in Northampton

Angry People in Local Newspapers:
http://apiln.blogspot.co.uk/
Home of sausagewoman:

Also, Dull News: http://dniln.blogspot.co.uk/
and Weird News: http://wniln.blogspot.co.uk/

Fill yer boots!

Manchester Evening News.

Some nob dailed 999 to report a couple having it off in a telephone box at 05:40 in Piccadilly Gardens.

Not sure that life or limb were in danger there…

Unless sausage woman was after your sausage

Scone eating pensioner persucuted by whitehooded marauders.
desperate for space filler

Not sure that life or limb were in danger there…

. . . unless he squeezed into the telephone box to use the phone

Not even local news, the front page headline the other day, in what is effectively the only national paper in New Zealand, was Twin’s heartbreak: crash kills sister returning from funeral. A story that a woman was upset that her sister had died. Really? You don’t say. How the frick is that a national story, let alone headline news? Could it possibly be to do with how they look…?

The only headlines in my local rag are either road accidents or news about local house prices going up, or dropping, or demand for new houses, or house rices staying the same.

dbcooper – Member
Scone eating pensioner persucuted by whitehooded marauders.
desperate for space filler

But she was soon left cowering and fearful when the giant bird swooped from nowhere with its eye on the scone.

Brilliant

This made me chuckle:

load of bullocks

Bails, I’m assuming that the picture is not related to the article? because that would seem a rather jubilant farewell for a sex offender!

’Overused sticky-tape’: Sex warning

Extreme ironing in south west London.

‘Overused sticky-tape’: Sex warning

Link doesn’t work, but is that related to Sellotape being a condom brand in Oz perhaps?

Loved this free paper which came through my door – had the headline:

WATERLOOVILLE MEN’S SHED GETS NEW LATHE

Proper news that.

There was once a headline and short report in my local paper

NO ONE INJURED.

There was an accident in Galashiels on Monday – no one was injured.

Cyclist knocked off by unnecessary posts

Not only was the poor chap knocked off by the posts (he didn’t ride into them, no), they were unnecessary too!

TM

@4130s0ul I think that’s the point, bad positioning of headline and unrelated picture!

A recent favourite from the Westmorland Gazette

Couldn’t help but be reminded of the swan scene in Hot Fuzz 🙂

Ice lollies for hot bears

It’s all go here in Craven.

Cyclist knocked off by unnecessary posts

Pretty much sums up my day on the forum…

These soundbites from the seagull scone article are priceless 😀

“You don’t expect this sort of thing to happen in the middle of a city,” said the mother-of-four.

“It really left me shocked and angry. It was pulling my hair and had no fear. I was shaking. It was quite terrifying.

“When is something going to be done about it? They are a complete menace – they are rats with wings. It’s getting completely out of hand.”

She added: “We like coming to Devon, but people won’t want to come if this type of thing is going to happen. I had to have a cup of tea in Marks and Spencers to get over the shock.

“I’ve seen this before in Scarborough, but I wouldn’t have expected it here. It’s been going on too long – something needs to be done about it.”

Reflecting the tediously parochial nature of the Yorkshire Post and its consistent contrivance to make any news story a local one, the almost certainly apocryphal headline of 7th February 1952 runs:

“Former Duke of York Dies”

Fill yer boots chaps. Dodgy juxtapositions galore.

Pretty much completely OT, but god will forgive me.

Northamptonshire men not fussy

Well this is what is actually happening in my home town this weekend

Beach closed off after huge hole opens up shooting SNAILS into the sky ‘like a geyser’

Local rag here is generally just a weekly update of who’s been done for drink driving and which houses have had drugs raids.

This headline did however win me over this week Former army man stole biscuits