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Footballers allergic to grass

49 posts & 18 voices | Started 1 year ago by samuri | Latest reply from Elfinsafety

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samuri - Member

I was just waiting for the kettle to boil and looked at the newspaper someone had left on the table. Apparently some professional footballer is allergic to grass. I initially assumed this was idiot-speak for hayfever but no, it's an actual grass allergy.
http://videocelts.com/2011/03/blogs/footballer-suffers-grass-allergy

I gaffawed. Fancy a footballer being allergic to grass, who makes these stories up?

Once re-united with the internet, I looked it up so I could post it here and we could all laugh at what a ridiculous fool this *individual* was.

Nope, turns out lots of footballers are allergic to grass. WTF?

I can't find any rugby players, mountain bikers, cricketers, field athletes or crown green bowlers who suffer from this so can anyone explain why only footballers get it? (Admittedly, I did find one golfer and one tennis player )

Do footballers get a more expensive kind of performance enhancing drug to everyone else that makes them more sensitive or something?

Very odd (and very funny)

Posted 1 year ago #
freddyg - Member

I'm allergic to grass. And trees. And cats. And Horses.

Posted 1 year ago #
samuri - Member

Are you a professional footballer?

(Although I can understand you being allergic to cats, sneaky bastards)

Posted 1 year ago #
oddjob - Member

I have exactly the same as freddyg and I am not a footballer

Posted 1 year ago #
molgrips - Member

so can anyone explain why only footballers get it?

As I understand it, some allergies can be caused by things getting into the body where they shouldn't be, causing an immune response.

So if you were constantly sliding along grass, and grass bits were getting into your blood through grazes/cuts, I can imagine how that would trigger something.

I can't lie on my bare back on mown grass without it itching unpleasantly. I have to put a tshirt down or something.

Posted 1 year ago #
mastiles_fanylion - Member

What an odd thing to find amusing.

Posted 1 year ago #
_tom_ - Member

so can anyone explain why only footballers get it?

Because they're all shandy-drinking poncey fairies? Maybe.

Posted 1 year ago #
iDave - Member

given that footballers emerge to ethereal stardom from the general population, why is it surprising, and for that matter amusing?

Posted 1 year ago #
iDave - Member

Because they're all shandy-drinking poncey fairies? Maybe.

I suspect you're closer to that definition than most footballers

Posted 1 year ago #
freddyg - Member

Are you a professional footballer?

<looks at bank balance> Oh. No, it appears I am not a professional footballer.

Because they're all shandy-drinking poncey fairies? Maybe.

You may have got me there.

Posted 1 year ago #
Mulletus Maximus - Member

Ole Gunnar Solskjær was too.

Posted 1 year ago #
samuri - Member

Well it's certainly amusing because it falls both under the 'irony' and 'Schadenfreude' banners. It's also seemed quite amusing because on my initial review, it only appeared to happen to a subgroup of people who I don't particularly care for.

Why is it surprising? Grass is very, very common. You find it just about everywhere. It's also virtually inert. It's as active as toenails.

Posted 1 year ago #
mastiles_fanylion - Member

What is ironic about it?

Posted 1 year ago #
molgrips - Member

It's also virtually inert. It's as active as toenails

How d'you work that out?

Cows think it's pretty significant..?

Posted 1 year ago #
Stuey01 - Member

Isn't that long jumper, Jade Johnson I think, allergic to sand?

How I guffawed when I heard that. Oh, wait, no I didn't.

Posted 1 year ago #
ernie_lynch - Member

Well it's certainly amusing because it falls both under the 'irony' and 'Schadenfreude' banners.

But you suggested that it wasn't true, when you asked "who makes these stories up?"

Did you think it was another case of Health and Safety/human rights/political correctness gone mad ?

Do you read Richard Littlejohn in the Daily Mail ?

Posted 1 year ago #
MrSparkle - Member

My lad suffers a massive allergy to grass and pollen. He had a test done and it virtually went off the scale. His life is hell in summer.

Posted 1 year ago #
mastiles_fanylion - Member

Tell you what MrSparkle - I nearly pissed myself at that - it made my day to find out your lad's life is a misery because of a grass allergy.

(Obviously I don't mean that, just in case you were about to come round and stove my face in).

Posted 1 year ago #
samuri - Member

Blimey, that's a lot of questions to answer.
What's ironic about a professional footballer being allergic to grass? Are you really asking that question?

Cows have to eat huge amounts of it and process it many times to get any nutrients out of it, because it's virtually inert.

No she's not. Sand, like grass, is virtually inert, she's allergic to a substance that exists on the sand. These footballers are not saying they're allergic to grass pollen, they're claiming to be allergic to grass.

I don't even know what question ernie is asking.

Is he allergic to grass, Mrsparkle or grass pollen, just like I am, just like my son is too?

Posted 1 year ago #
ernie_lynch - Member

Well I was asking why your initial reaction was "who makes these stories up?"

But don't worry, there's no need to answer that if you don't want to.

Posted 1 year ago #
molgrips - Member

I can't see how the soup of complex organic chemicals in grass can be 'inert' to be honest, if you are talking about potential chemical interactions.

Posted 1 year ago #
Stuey01 - Member

No she's not. Sand, like grass, is virtually inert, she's allergic to a substance that exists on the sand. These footballers are not saying they're allergic to grass pollen, they're claiming to be allergic to grass.

Well she is quoted all over as saying she is allergic to sand. So she is claiming to be allergic to sand.
Whether or not she actually is allergic to sand or something on the sand I neither care or find amusing.

Posted 1 year ago #
Elfinsafety - Member

I play football, and I seem to have an allergy to grass. I've had nasty, itchy rashes where my skin has come into contact with grass. I also suffer from hayfever, so without medication, I can't enjoy doing something I love.

Somehow, I don't find that particularly hilarious, although I'm sure someone else might. Not sure why though.

Imagine it's someone else with another profession, say a decorator who's allergic to the kind of paint they use or something. Is it so funny then?

Or does the humour only work if it's a subgroup of people who you don't particularly care for?

Posted 1 year ago #
mastiles_fanylion - Member

Yes - I think footballers deserve it because they earn more money than he does or something.

Still - I would happily have a grass allergy and earn the money a top footballer does - it would be fun rolling in my money and laughing at the poor people like Samuri.

Posted 1 year ago #
iDave - Member

it would be fun rolling in my money and laughing it the poor people like Samuri.

Is being rich a prerequisite for laughing at samurai?

Posted 1 year ago #
trailmonkey - Member

can't they just smoke hash ?

Posted 1 year ago #
molgrips - Member

You do know that people are allergic to water and sunlight, don't you?

Posted 1 year ago #
mastiles_fanylion - Member

Stop giving him people to laugh and point at.

Posted 1 year ago #
MrSparkle - Member

Tell you what MrSparkle - I nearly pissed myself at that - it made my day to find out your lad's life is a misery because of a grass allergy.

(Obviously I don't mean that, just in case you were about to come round and stove my face in).

You don't have to worry about that mate. He's 17 now and bigger than me, he can do it himself!

Posted 1 year ago #
samuri - Member

it would be fun rolling in my money and laughing at the poor people like Samuri.

Well I just hope you're not allergic to money. Of course you wouldn't be. That's a silly idea.

Lots of people earn more money than me, not all of them are worthy of my derision but I'm quite happy to poke fun at those who get rich out of overcharging poor people. Especially poke-worthy characters like footballers.

But don't worry, there's no need to answer that if you don't want to.

Thanks Ernie, it's appreciated.

Posted 1 year ago #
mrmichaelwright - Member

Especially poke-worthy characters like footballers.

and elfinsafety

Posted 1 year ago #
samuri - Member

I doubt he earns more than me. Can I still poke fun at him?

Posted 1 year ago #
Elfinsafety - Member

Give it yer best shot, Samuri...

Posted 1 year ago #
grum - Member

In Italy they paint the pitches green cos they are so scruffy looking, and some players are allergic to that.

Posted 1 year ago #
philconsequence - Member

allergic to grass, cats, certain types of pollen and mrsconsequence.

Posted 1 year ago #