At work, we have a communal kitchen where people keep, prepare and eat their lunches. There’s communal brewing tackle (coffee, milk etc) but everything else is brought in by individual staff.

I’ve got a bunch of stuff in there, mainly butter in the fridge and a selection of condiments. I’ve had issues in the past with butter; I don’t begrudge anyone a smear of butter for heaven’s sake, but when I buy a pack, use it three times before coming to it and finding it empty(*), that’s taking the piss IMHO.

This lunchtime, I walked into the kitchen and found a bloke helping himself to my chilli sauce. I was so incensed that I did what any self respecting Englishman would do, which is to pretend I haven’t noticed and skulk off back to my desk.

I’m stuck now as to what to do about it. I didn’t say anything because whilst I recognised the guy I don’t know who he is, and I didn’t relish(**) the idea of giving someone a bollocking and then finding out he was the new CEO or something.

So do I just let it go? Send out a passive-aggressive email to the building reminding people that the food in there isn’t communal and has been paid for by people? Put up a strongly worded sign? Start laying spiked honeytraps? Go whining to HR? Hide everything in my desk so that it doesn’t happen again and put up with ferrying stuff back and forth every day? Wait for him in the car park with a set of Bombers and a full bladder? Something else?

Am I justified in feeling a bit miffed about this, or am I just being petty and pathetic? Like I said above, I wouldn’t mind so much if it was a one-off, but I’m a bit bored of keep buying stuff and seeing it disappear. WWSTWD?

(* – and who the hell uses the last of someone else’s supplies and then puts the empty tub back in the fridge so I don’t even know it’s run out and needs replacing till it’s too late? Bastard.)

(** – see what I did there? Oh please yourselves.)

Replace contents with Dave’s Insanity Sauce.

Keep your personal supply in your desk.

Just use some of other people’s stuff too. Seems to work ok at our workplace.

Sometimes I buy stuff that gets used by other people, sometimes it’s the other way round. Not really worth getting het up over shirley?

If he leaves his own cakes lying around, you could wee in his choux.

Do what I did with communal work fridge, made my stuff totally unappealing. Buy a tub of the most low fat no fun minging flora heart aware healthy marge or something, conceal your butter in that.

Nobody ever stole my soy milk either, and they were too lazy and ignorant to use my real coffee to make proper coffee when they could steal somebody else’s Nescafe Gold Bland.

put all your stuff in a plastic tub in the fridge labelled with your name

Replace contents with Dave’s Insanity Sauce.

I’ve considered doing that with the ketchup. I’d still happily use it and it might give someone else a surprise.

Just use some of other people’s stuff too

I don’t want to use other people’s stuff. a) they have nothing I want and b) two wrongs and all that.

If he leaves his own cakes lying around, you could wee in his choux.

Get. Out. (-:

Buy a tub of the most low fat no fun minging flora heart aware healthy marge or something, conceal your butter in that.

You know, that’s not a bad idea. If mine is all in Happy Shopper bottles, they’ll steal someone else’s.

Think I’d be happier if they stopped stealing, though.

Writing ‘Property of Cougar’ on the label will remove any doubt of ‘I thought it was there for anyone‘ and probably put most off, if someone’s gonna ignore that then a shirty email or signage won’t deter them. If it really winds you up then keeping it in your desk is the best option to stop it.
RM.

l remove any doubt of ‘I thought it was there for anyone’

I actually played out that conversation in my head. If I’d have said anything without thinking it through first, it’d have been sarcasm.

“Help yourself to my sauce mate, you’re alright.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realise it was yours.”

“Did you think you were stealing someone else’s, then?”

Wouldn’t have ended well.

Picolax (or indeed any laxitive)? Isn’t that what it was invented for?

We have the same problem. Although some people do ask you which is nice, but kinda worse, becasue you then can’t say ‘no’, otherwise you look like a tight****.
Then they seem to think they have your ongoing permission, and use it every day, and never buy their own.

I wouldn’t really care if they occasionally pitched in and bought some stuff.

I don’t want to use other people’s stuff. a) they have nothing I want and b) two wrongs and all that.

I dunno – I just see it as sharing, rather than repeated cases of stealing. :shrug:

No use if no-one ever has anything you want to use though.

Picolax

THIS + a gazillion

And live updates on here!

Grab thief by throat, tell them that if they do it again you will rip their head off and cr** in the hole…
HTH

Get a large tupperware container and put all your stuff in that, write a tactful note on the top of the box along the lines of – these delightful treats belong to a large cat, eat at your peril. Then sit back and relax that everyone in the office will realise they are not communal supplies.

I dunno – I just see it as sharing, rather than repeated cases of stealing. :shrug:

I see it as stealing.

*locks food in desk drawer

dymo machine – then you can be “that” guy…..

put stuff in plastic bag – tie knot in…. i find folks are too lazy to untie the knot 😉

Personally I’d had said politely but firmly “excuse me but that is my chilli sauce, please can you ask first next time?”.
Depending on his response dictates whether he goes home to his family in a car or a box.

Equine laxatives.

Paint grenade in the fridge

Just call him a thieving “insert enthnic minority of choice here” bearded clam.

grum – Member
I dunno – I just see it as sharing, rather than repeated cases of stealing. :shrug:

Would you feel the same if someone borrowed your bike without asking and then proceeded to rag the crap out of it?

throw the fridge out the window ?

Just follow them back to their desk.

Sit down next to them, take a photo of them and then stare at them.

Don’t say a word, just stare for a few minutes.

Then get up and walk away, without uttering any sound at all

Or – follow them back to their desk and steal their pens, keyboard, mouse, phone, or indeed work – whatever else takes your fancy.

Time to become a nasty Cougar 🙂

I work in a “serviced office” and I used to get people I didn’t know nicking my milk from the communal kitchen.

Not just one splash for a coffee, but just nonchalantly using an entire carton and leaving me with none.

I can confirm that putting green food colouring in it stops people nickign it – but it does tend to get chucked out by the cleaners. Putting it in baby’s bottles worked too, for a short time.

In the end I just gave up taking milk.

These days I store the coffee in my office desk cos they were helping themselves to that too – despite being in a sealed tupperware box, hidden away in a cupboard, with “Stop stealing My Coffee You Tight Bastards” scrawled on it in marker pen.

Not sure how any of these help you – but just thought I’d mention I can relate.

Would you feel the same if someone borrowed your bike without asking and then proceeded to rag the crap out of it?

Er….no.

An example – there’s 2-3 bottles of salad dressing at work. I’ve bought some on occasion but if everyone just used their own there would be loads of bottles and it it would years to use it all up. Margarine/butter etc – is there really any point in there being 15 different packs of it in the fridge at once?

I often buy a pack of pitta breads – use 2-3 of them then forget they exist. I’d much rather someone else ate them than they got chucked in the bin.

Maybe the people I work with are just nice and are capable of sharing? Never heard anyone whinging about people nicking stuff or leaving weird passive-aggressive notices.

Next person you see doing this, grab their face and give them a good firm lick from the chin, right up the cheek onto the forehead. Say nothing. Leave kitchen.

Time to become a nasty Cougar

*snort* ace.

In the end I just gave up taking milk.

I’d label it “breast milk.”

stalk him and when he goes in again, be ready phone (camera) in hand, when he asks what your up to, tell him your just taking a picture of the thieving **** to email to the rest of the office/company.

Umm. Organise a tea fund? couple of quid a month each, you’ll all have all the milk, coffee, butter and ketchup you could want…

Communal ketchup?

Then I’d end up with ketchup bottles with more sauce on the outside of the bottle than in it, and lumps of food round the rim where they’ve stuffed it into their bacon (why do people do that?!). Bunch of savages in this town.

start a blog, photograph all of your stuff before you put it in the fridge and after it comes out the next time you use it.

Put before and after pics on the blog.

Call it ‘wherehasallmyfoodgone.com’

after a week or two email details to all and sundry.

Wrap it with tape.

If your marg-tub is wrapped 5 or 6 times with tape, they will think twice about pinching a bit and move on to the next person’s spread.

Keep other stuff on your desk/in your drawer.

If it’s any consolation, i’ve had a full-on shepperds pie nicked out of the work-fridge – To say I was miffed doesn’t come close.

grum, you’re probably lucky in that case. The scenario cougar has described is pretty common for most places where not everyone knows each other in the office.
Some people take advantage of this and steal stuff.

“See that sauce”

“Yep”

” it’s mine, steal it again and I’ll shove it up your fanny”

I know, no need to thank me, here to help Hon

I’d label it “breast milk.”

Yep, did that and put it in baby bottles, but they got wise to it. 🙁

(it kind of gives the game away when someone walks in on you putting said “breast milk” in your coffee – either that or you get a bit of a reputation…)

Do some investigation, find out who they are. Then send annonymous notes to them in the internal post. Along the lines of, ‘I know what you did’, ‘I’m watching you’ and ‘that was infected’. If it doesn’t stop, up the stakes with staing that certain ’emmissions’ were in the sauce and perhaps they’d like to get checked at ‘the clinic’ before engaging in ‘fornacatory stimulations’ with their partner

Sit back and watch the fallout.