OK then, here’s a definite winner – when she’s stuffing her gob with a cream egg ice cream (presuming you’ve splashed out on dinner at McDonalds), you could serenade her with a romantic song, “me so horny” or somesuch, before trilling like a bantu tribesman and attempting to put your hand up her vest. And remember, you cant touch her where she wees until the second or third date.

… you have arranged to meet her at a secluded woodland spot, right?

If not, make sure she knows that’s where you want to go for your next date.

It does surprise me that joking about being a serial killer seems a sure fire way to secure a 2nd date…

And remember, you cant touch her where she wees until the second or third date

😆

Serious note: Be yourself, 110%

Unserious note: Be yourself, 10%

Take a newspaper, and rustle it and scowl every time she attempts to make small talk.

“i bought you some paracetamol”

“why?”

“well don’t you have a headache?”

“no, why.. what?!”

“awesome, so we can have sex now?”

“i bought you some paracetamol”

“why?”

“well don’t you have a headache?”

“no, why.. what?!”

“awesome, so we can have sex now?”

lol very good.

Let me know if that works, by the way?

BH – can you hire a ‘mother goose’ costume from anywhere? I’m sure she would be charmed by the effort you’ve made, and not at all startled.

Don’t punch her in the back of the neck.

I have often found that sacrificing an animal on the first date shows her that you are serious about her, provides good fresh food and appeases the gods in one easy blood offering.

Afterwards, ask her if she is a virgin.

Mother Goose costume out of stock…

http://tinyurl.com/4urcjl3

😥

Sorry BH, my post was a bit misleading. I meant the goose from mother goose, that’s what the ladies really like, not you dressed up as another lady – that would just be weird.

I’ve got some new felt for the roof mitch.

Do I need to look this up on the urban dictionary?

Why don’t you prepare a mirkin especially for her as a present.
You could take the hairs from your collection of underwear 🙂

No need, it’s just that when it was wet out it was dripping on his head.

I only have one chat up line – works every time:

“Does this smell like chloroform to you?”

That’s right yeti, I was wetter than an otters pocket!

And don’t forget to stare at her boobies.

“Does this smell like chloroform to you?”

Mmmmm, rohypnochino!

I have always preferred the chat up line.

“just relax, lets not have this rape turn into a murder”

I’ve just been giving this some thought whilst taking the dog out for a dump. Perhaps you could take along a ‘boom box’, and when the time is right (perhaps between courses), turn it on and perform a specially prepared ‘rap’. You should, of course, steer well away from guns and ho’s, but I feel it would be acceptable to ‘big yourself up’ by boasting about how much gold jewellery you own and how unfeasibly large and threatening your genitalia is. So confident am I about the success of this plan, that once I log off here, I shall order a particularly large and flowery hat to wear at the forthcoming nuptuals.

For inspiration you need to watch Jon LaJoi.. show me your genitals.

This is such a good thread – very insightful and reinforces my feeling that I am SO glad to be female!

Well hellloooo newgal, how you doing?

So, your face or mine?

large and flowery hat

+1000

Hats are irresistible, you might as well put a small fan under your balls and waft pheromone towards the nearest nail salon.

All good thanks TSY, all good. Persevere with the dating thing, I’ve managed to find myself a fairly normal, non-psycho bike rider for now! And if I can just offer one piece of advice, Bravohotel8er, choose those first date shoes very, very carefully…

Don’t punch her in the back of the neck.

Drink all over the keyboard….. cheers Hora

UPDATE: Date was a success!

We kissed, seeing her again on Sunday.

Thanks for all of the helpful hints, I feel it was the constant compliments about her breasts and the romantic abandoned quarry setting that really sealed the deal

😀

Well hellloooo newgal, how you doing?

you seriously need a new chat up line, my love.

Glad date was a success BH. (perhaps despite all the advice. 😉 )

Tell her about this thread. Ladies love that kind of thing

emsz… if it’s good enough for Joey off of friends it’s good enough for me!

Did it ever work for Joey though? LOL

Nice one Bravo, keep it up! 😉

Oh this is so typical, but I ran into my ex-Incredible Legs Girl tonight. She’s moving to New Zealand (Christchurch, New Zealand) sometime probably, but my God, those legs!

Also tonight, I met Incredible Rack Girl, a gravity defying girl from Christchurch in Dorset, life is nothing if not complicated.

Legs beat rack anyday in my book

“Incredible Rack Girl”
And she’s got a sister. 😉

Watch out she doesn’t invoice you for your ‘evening out’

Hookers are getting crafty these days…