…in my local paper. Ever.

Ghost ship full of diseased cannibal rats…

I suspect they may be desperate for readers

Not as good as ‘Super Cally go Ballistic Celtic are Atrocious’

could now crash into Devon, Cornwall, Ireland or Scotland.

That’s narrowed that down a bit.

Brilliant.

A ghost ship full of diseased cannibal rats could be about to crash into the Devon coast, experts fear.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Dave Elbows, and I’m an expert on diseased cannibal rat-infested ghost ships.”

Not Wales then, I can sleep tonight

Or this probably apocryphal one from the Press and Journal of April 1912: ‘North East Man Lost at Sea’

This version made me smile…

Juan Mata joins rat-infested ghost ship

Surely cannibal rats is a self regulating infestation?

Surely cannibal rats is a self regulating infestation?

Only if they die out before they learn to fish. Next up after that is steering the ship, and then we’re all ****.

Spin beat me to it, but another couple of football ones…

‘Wycombe Whack ’em’ – Wycombe Wanderers beat local rivals Aylesbury

‘Happy Hopwood Hits His Hat-trick’ – South Wales Echo local football

A factory shut in town and the headline was very nearly “Jobs blow for town”. The editor at the time was a not very world-wise Christian.

The Canadian government has apologised for both this and Celine Dion on several occasions buddeh’.

This amused me:

Woman stabs man with a squirrel

“6,000 RIM jobs at risk of pink slip” is one of the best I remember seeing.

Talking about the Blackberry maker, obviously…

Can’t remember where from, but “Rhubarb woman gets custody” (best read out loud)

And the almost certainly apocryphal one, supposedly from the ever parochial Yorkshire Post on the occasion of the death of the King:

“Former Duke of York dies”

When George Michael had that unfortunate run-in with an American law enforcement person in the toilet of a public park, we debated in the office which headline was best and it was a toss-up between:

“Zip Me Up Before You Go Go”

and

“Careless Wrister”

mrs swiss, looking over my shoulder as i read the daily mash page, spies the ‘milfs of waitrose’ ad.

is that the sort of thing waitrose thinks should be marketed at you singletrack types she demands.

yes, i say to my dear one, yes it is