So I posted 2 years ago regarding the consumption of coffee and would it have a detrimental effect on conceiving,

Some helpful comments were written, some not so helpful and many putting the situation (at the time) into context from folk further down the line.

2 years down our line, guess what, still no luck,
Quit the coffee for a fair few months, and the alcohol, to be perfectly honest Mrstaco and I have been through all the motions, all tests come back fine, Last week I was supplying high quality 😉
Just finished our third and final round of IUI, it’s difficult to be upbeat after 3 years,
We’ll have one chance at the NHS funded IVF, after that they’ll be no chance we can afford any other treatments.

Anyone else had success after all the treatment?

Pressure off…..

To be honest we’ve spent a large proportion of our 3 years relaxed and enjoying ourselves, I don’t see how much more relaxed we need to be for it to work, I’ve known two other couples that went through the treatment, gave up before having a child,
There is hope but its wearing thin.

To be honest we’ve spent a large proportion of our 3 years relaxed and enjoying ourselves, I don’t see how much more relaxed we need to be for it to work, I’ve known two other couples that went through the treatment, gave up before having a child,
There is hope but its wearing thin.

There’s little more you can do than this and having a healthy lifestyle on the basis that it may just improve your chances. It’s hard not to look to blame your lifestyle in some way when things aren’t happening, but the nature of unexplained infertility is just that – there’s no firm evidence that many things make a difference.

When we went for our first cycle of IVF, we reconciled ourselves in advance to the strong likelihood that it wasn’t going to work, on the basis that pinning lots of future hopes and dreams on the roll of a dice would be pretty destructive. We made exciting childless plans to run alongside the child-included ones.

As it happened, one cycle was enough, nearly 14 years ago now. But I’d like to think we’d have been OK if it hadn’t worked.

We went through 4 cycles. First 2 failed. We were going to give up after the 3rd but got lucky (or Brigitte as we normally call her). 4th worked too so we got Emily.

It was pretty tough but the staff were great (including the well named embryologist Dr Nice). We had to self fund as by the time we’d exhausted all options my wife was over 40. We had the choice of the John Radcliffe (NHS) in Oxford (1.5 hours away) or The Chiltern Hospital (private) which is just down the road from us. Both had similar results so we went for the local option. Given the number of trips required per cycle I’d definitely recommend a local option.

Good luck, it can work but no guarantees. Several instances of other couples fleeing in tears as we waited for our appointments.

Had a similar experience to you OP. Unexplained fertility, so after numerous trips to the hospital and various investigative procedures we were referred for IVF and chose CARE in Sheffield. It’s a bit of a postcode lottery with IVF, in some areas you’re given 3 roll’s of the dice and in other’s you get 1. We were given 1 NHS funded round which was unsuccessful. Thankfully we were able to afford to keep on going and after the 2nd round MrsScunny is now pregnant with twins.

We were in the exact same position as you op.
My missus puts our eventual succes down to some rancid tea she got off a Chinese doc… I also took some supplements which made my sample score superpowered.
Don’t give up,best of luck.

Several friends have had similar problems – some persevered and succeeded, some persevered and still had no joy, one couple ended up splitting under the pressure, quite a few ended up adopting.

Only you can decide what is best for your circumstances, but explore each avenue as far as the two of you want to take it.

One child after a few tablets, then a long wait, then one via IVF. He’s now 6ft and 14.

I think there were aspects of the whole thing that were unhelpful. The pressures around sex in particular, and now we are not together, but that’s from 11 years afterwards.

Not sure how I’d have dealt with failure

We had one cycle, our first, on the NHS and now our daughter will be 5 this year. Keep your chin up, I hope it all works out for you.

we got “lucky” on the third IUI round the nurse crossed her fingers as she did the insertion , To be fair i was fairly equivocal about the whole process up until he was dumped in my arms immediately after birth and we got a good 10 minutes to bond now even after 4.5 years i am still besotted . The getting there is hard and uncertain but if you do it pays off . Remember though that you are first and foremost a couple and don’t let the pressure to replicate damage that.

We underwent several cycles of IUI, without success, despite a healthy count from me. However, when we eventually decided on IVF (self funded) I was tested again, and they discovered I was producing antibodies in my semen which were killing off the sperm before they could work, thanks to some trauma from a motorbike smash. This is pretty common, and they can treat it with enzymes to strip the protein skins from the sperm and divert the antibodies with a sugar solution so they no longer attacked the sperm. First round was unsuccessful, but second round gave us Emily and James.

Don’t give up hope. It took us many frustrating years of worry, but there are some great people in the hospitals.

My Mrs and I had 2 failed ICSI cycles which we self funded. We were starting a third when she fell pregnant au naturel as it were. We now have 3 boys, all conceived naturally. Docs told us we were very unlikely to conceive, we were happy to prove them wrong!

So, keep trying and enjoy trying. You just might get a surprise 🙂

It took a drunken rumble in the USA to get there after a few years trying with MsJimmy. I can recommend Rogue Ales in Portland / Oregon.

2 failed cycles of ICSI and then we looked at our lifestyle, Mrs Ninkynonk was doing a 2hr commute each way every day. We decided that life isn’t all about money so she gave up work and went back to Uni to do a PGCE.

Not sure how much difference it made but just when we gave up hope and decided on a life of fast cars and nice holidays our third cycle presented us with twin girls.

Now aged 7 (pushing 17) I never forget how lucky we are.

Good luck and fingers crossed you’re replying with a similar response to another thread in a year or two!

Another dad to assisted children here (twins – coming up to 7 years old). We were massively lucky to conceive on our first cycle – we live in North Yorkshire where they don’t provide *ANY* cycles on the NHS (although I believe they may have relaxed this a little now and allow one cycle if you do meet their strict criteria). My business partner lives in West Yorkshire and was allowed three cycles on the NHS.

We were lucky to have enough savings at the time but it cost us just short of £6,000 (ICSI process). We had our treatment at Leeds St Jimmy’s so we were around lots of other people from West Yorkshire so as we queued up at the dispensary at the hospital we watched others collecting their drugs for the price of a prescription yet we (because we live 12 miles outside West Yorkshire) had to write a cheque out for around £800 (this was for the drugs alone).

Anyway…

My business partner didn’t manage to conceive in any of his cycles and was told that he basically didn’t stand a chance because of health issues. He was just starting down the path of adopting when they managed to conceive naturally.

And another friend was told they would never be able to conceive naturally (both had issues) and when they were on the drugs the nurses couldn’t understand why they weren’t working as they should. It turned out she was pregnant with twins (conceived naturally just before they started the treatment).

So – pardon my personal rant but yes – it can (and often does) work itself out naturally. Hope it does for you.

Best of luck to you and mrs tacopowell.

Not much to add over what was said in the original thread (at least the first half before it descended into the usual bickering.)

Anyone else had success after all the treatment?

Yes, but you might need to be very determined, really research treatment options, and have deep pockets.

Been through 5.5 cycles of IVF now (4.5 of them private):

1) NHS funded at Kingston. Not a pleasant environment and fairly bad on the psychological side.
2) 3 cycles of IVF (2 x ICSI) at Lister – big fat negative on short protocol, followed by a blighted ovum (should have had it removed rather than waiting for nature) followed by another BFN
3) Decided to start using donor eggs. First cycle was aborted after the donor produced no eggs. We were offered a free frozen cycle as part of a study (which we still had to spend about £1k on drugs) which resulted in another negative.

Each failure is devastating emotionally, but you get used to expecting nothing.

Going for another donor cycle in the next month or so.

If that is another negative we have to decide if we just give up, try to adopt (difficult as I am over 40 and it’s a long process) or keep going (we can afford a couple of cycles a year if we scrimp elsewhere).

You hear of people going for 15 or more cycles and I just don’t know how they do it.

You hear of people going for 15 or more cycles and I just don’t know how they do it.

Yeah another friend of ours did that – remortgaged twice to help fund it. Eventually they adopted – then he left her because he couldn’t cope with having a child around.

😐

Thought I’d share my update.

The wife and I went into our one and only chance of IVF (no way we could afford beyond the one NHS funded round) with one last push of optimism,
turns out that’s all we needed,
One of the lucky ones,
Now 25 weeks in and getting as prepared as we possibly can,
Truth is I know nothing is going to prepare us for the onslaught of sleep deprivation, green poo and 18+ years of anxiety!

The one thing I find myself doing is evaluating my own childhood, how my parents raised me and what I can do to not make the same mistakes they did,
I’ve pretty much had one ambition in life since a young age and that is to be a better father to my children than my father was to me,
Shouldn’t be too hard but it’s something I’m extremely conscious of.

Any tips on being a good dad?

That’s really ace news!

Congrats. We got lucky first round of IVF after 5 years of no success. One bit of advice. If there is nowt wrong, be careful about number 2. We thought better start getting on with trying as it took so long, literally first month of trying and now number 2 is due in May.

Advice wise they are all different. It will be super hard. Midwives advice will be “it’s a phase and will pass” which is bugger all help when you are struggling, but it’s true.

Good luck and make sure you pause to enjoy it, soon they will be smacking you in the face with a slipper shouting tractor st the top of their voice….

Any tips on being a good dad?

Buy Lego.

As a non-breeder I’ve nothing to add to this beyond a) congrats and b) it’s starting how common this is. I’ve more friends who have struggled than not, most ended up down the adoption route.

Nice one. Being a dad is great.

Fantastic news – just finished helping our two 7 yr old IVF twins to bed and they continue to frustrate and delight in equal measure.

No tips though – just do what you think is right and I am sure it (generally) will be 🙂

Good luck dude. Mrs muz has endometrosis which complicates everything. We took 2 years trying to concieve without success. We then got drug assited following a gp visit. This initially succeeded 3 times but all miscarriages including one fecker at 13 weeks. It was quite frankly shite and we were devastated. We then got ivf.

First embryo from ivf failed. 2nd from the same batch (frosty) was a success and we now have an amazing 7 month old boy 🙂 all the heartache dissapears 🙂

Wow! Was reading this through and didn’t realise how old a thread it was….then saw your update!!

Fab news, mega pleased for you!

Congratulations!!! 😀

Great news!

Lovely news OP. We have a 7 month old boy and it’s wonderful. Fairly grim to start with as they are very demanding, but they just keep getting better. It completely changes your priorities and gives you a fresh view of your life.

My one bit of advise – kick the arse out of trips away, holidays, biking trips and overnighters now, as you won’t have the chance when the nipper arrives!

Oh, and get to NCT classes, if only for a great support network for your other half and drinking buddies for you.

Really pleased for you. Fantastic news. Better check with my kids whether I’m in any position to advise on parenting.

excellent news OP. Working in IVF is great to hear your news and all naturally conceived babies! Now your hard work will start OP. Enjoy.

Great news OP. No advice other than to relax and go with the flow. Don’t try to get too much done, enjoy the time and don’t compare your way to anyone else’s.

Wonderful news. Congratulations.

Tip 1 don’t underestimate the stress leading up to the birth particularly given the journey so far. Being a Dad starts by helping your partner through that part. Try and do a course / NCT classes.

Thereafter just do what’s natural, don’t over think things, don’t be bombarded with advice you didn’t ask for. Nature has been getting this right for 1000’s of years. Love might not be all you need (Lenon and McCartney) but it will take you a long way.

Finally as above a good friemd struggled for years to get #1 then bingo #2 turns up. Maybe you’ll be lucky too and have the first somehow “unblock” things ?

Congrats again

rather a lot of snow in Surrey Hills right now – no chance of making it to work tomorrow so I’ve had a couple of g+t’s…. Anyway – it’s taken 1 go at ivf through the NHS which didn’t work…further investigation showed that we needed a doner – couldn’t do that privately in U.K. – so went to Barcelona (institute Marquez) and had 2 doner cycles and an operation before on cycle no 4 Mrs SSSI got pregnant. We.re now at 26 weeks and keeping fingers crossed. It’s cost us everything and I’ve sold the car to pay for the last cycle. I’ve only got a single speed rigid and would love a full suss carbon – but hey ho – I’m awesome anyway – and so is my wife. Very best wishes to the OP – don’t give up!

Congrats, it can be hugely stressful, we had 3 cycles of ICSI before one stuck.

Any tips on being a good dad?

Just do what you think is right.

Talk to them about something they did well, that you are proud of them and that you love them every day.

When they get old enough to back chat, count to 10 before replying, and don’t get caught grinning if they do it to your wife!!!

Awesome news. Something really close to my heart after having my first child to IVF.

Totally changed our lives. My wife has now quit work to run support groups for those going through fertility treatment and to also work as a coach with these people. Plans in the pipeline as well to create a charity for funding IVF for couples.

Very, very pleased for you OP.

congrats. Great news.We tried IVF.it did not work. we then filled in a few forms, had a social worker come to see us now and again, and hey presto 2 yrs later a little girl called Elizabeth aged 2 and a half bounced into out lives. 3 yrs later we are again filling in forms, social worker calling to see about number 2. just saying if all else fails there is an other way

willb – Member

congrats. Great news.We tried IVF.it did not work. we then filled in a few forms, had a social worker come to see us now and again, and hey presto 2 yrs later a little girl called Elizabeth aged 2 and a half bounced into out lives. 3 yrs later we are again filling in forms, social worker calling to see about number 2. just saying if all else fails there is an other way

Friends of mine have gone down the adoption route. They tried for 7 years, had god knows how many IVF treatments & eventually called it a day a couple of years ago.
They adopted a little girl, who at the time was 4 months old. She’s now around 2 1/2 years old and really is the light in their life….

sssi – Member

Anyway – it’s taken 1 go at ivf through the NHS which didn’t work…further investigation showed that we needed a doner – couldn’t do that privately in U.K.

I don’t know the specifics of your treatment (obviously) but just to clarify this comment – donor eggs & sperm are available in the UK.

donor eggs & sperm are available in the UK.

Maybe in some areas but fertility treatment in the UK really is a postcode lottery. Where I live there is essentially no provision for *ANY* IVF treatment whatsoever on the NHS – only females between the age of 39 & 40 with no children from the present or previous relationships with a partner who also has no children from previous relationships are eligible.

congrats OP. one child naturally here but impossible to conceive a sister or brother.. have gone through tons of stuff and in the end kind of gave up. its hard.

hope all goes well for you both, and enjoy!