Farmers / tractor drivers get off your freaking phone whilst driving your tractor on the road! Seems like a very high percentage have a phone glued to their ear whenever I see them…

It will only take one more correct use of the apostrophe to bring me into positive territory

I think not, young sir:
2 year olds stomach

Damn it…

The local farmer had an issue with some travellers on his land. He used his most lethal concoction on a neighbouring field that was downwind.

About 30 years ago, one of our local farmers got thrown out of the local pub for having one too many and generally being a pest.

Somehow, he made it home, got his muckspreader and went back to the pub miraculously not killing anyone on the journey back to the pub.

He then unleashed the slurry onto the side of the pub, covering the gable and calmly drove off. Didn’t half take some cleaning and repainting after that.

Putting the tail and castration rings on male ones is usually a lovely experience of getting covered in sticky yellow poo.

You come near me with castration rings and I’d poo on you too.