Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 45 total)
  • FARMER'S…
  • mechanicaldope
    Full Member

    Do you have some kind of competition with each other as to who can create the most unholy, eye watering, vomit inducing stench and still be allowed to spread this filth over fields? Do you ever manage to concoct anything so offensive to the senses that you consider it a step too far and dispose of it or do you just throw it around anyway while chuckling to yourselves? I am guessing the latter. Seriously, some of the smells my nose had to suffer on the way home from Pembrokeshire made my 2 year olds stomach bug s@#t filled nappies smell like roses. Honestly, no wonder vegetarians have a reputation for smelly farts if all their food is grown in this.

    fadda
    Full Member

    Can I go first…?

    isitafox
    Free Member

    Makes me laugh when people react like this to slurry though that could be from living in a rural area where my primary school was next door to a farm. Stop being such a pussy… 😆

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    jambalaya
    Free Member

    Chemcials don’t smell but will kill you and destroy the environment. Stinking slurry seems the obvious choice to me.

    Anyway, hopefully you are safely back in your vaccum packed life now !

    Rorschach
    Free Member

    Don’t even start me on that dreadful cacophony their animals make at all hours of the day….it’s intolerable.

    slowoldman
    Full Member

    I know, did they never consider that city folk might want to move out to the country? Those church bells too!!

    anagallis_arvensis
    Full Member

    Spreads the filth over the fields and then you it the fruits of his labour!!

    rmacattack
    Free Member

    it cant be good in the quantity ive seen being put on fields around here. how this is right for the environment ive no idea. can i also add why they feel the need to drive on the roads for 5+ miles at rush hour times with tractor/trailer ?

    trail_rat
    Free Member

    “it cant be good in the quantity ive seen being put on fields around here. how this is right for the environment ive no idea”

    Oh so your an expert all of a sudden ?

    breadcrumb
    Full Member

    Farmers eh! Producing food stuff for the country. The bastards.

    mechanicaldope
    Full Member

    Just for the record for any that might have not have noticed the tongue in cheek nature of my post, I am fully aware of why this is done and the benefits it brings. However, in the same way a surgeon must get satisfaction from a clean, well done set of stitches, I bet farmers secretly love it when they have brewed up something a bit special – I know I would!

    Rorschach
    Free Member

    Horseshit

    oldnpastit
    Full Member

    What’s going on with the OP’s blatant apostrophe abuse, that’s what I want to know.

    flossie
    Free Member

    And why are their farms such a dump!?
    Honestly, some of the ones we ride through in the high peak area look like a bloody scrap yard. Custodians of the countryside my arse!

    jimjam
    Free Member

    I can still remember when they used to spray blood and offal on the fields. On a hot day that used to make me retch. Slurry seems pleasant in comparison.

    rmacattack
    Free Member

    “Oh so your an expert all of a sudden ?”

    not an expert but when humans excrete in the extent we do it goes to a sewage works. how can a winters season of cow manure be concentrated into a few evenings spreading for each farm.

    bentandbroken
    Full Member

    The local farmer had an issue with some travellers on his land. He used his most lethal concoction on a neighbouring field that was downwind.

    Sadly so were we 😕

    mechanicaldope
    Full Member

    What’s going on with the OP’s blatant apostrophe abuse, that’s what I want to know.

    I think that you will find that I have spelt it correctly in my second post thus nullifying the initial error. It will only take one more correct use of the apostrophe to bring me into positive territory. Farmers. So there…

    breadcrumb
    Full Member

    😆

    Rorschach
    Free Member

    NSFW (or the infirm)
    [video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tNAYqZl6Jw[/video]

    user-removed
    Free Member

    I can still remember when they used to spray blood and offal on the fields

    They still do on the farms around Consett. Fish guts seems to be the general consensus. Impossible to breathe for a few days (I’m posting from the afterlife).

    andyl
    Free Member

    can always smell when they have drained their septic tanks and spread that on the fields too 😈 (yes it’s not legal)

    Fertiliser they use around here stinks of weed. A couple of summers ago it was so pungent the Police helicopter was out looking for signs of a massive marijuana farm. Might be stuff from the mushroom farm.

    Nobeerinthefridge
    Free Member

    I love the smell of it! Think it reminds me of my grans house when I was a little un.

    esselgruntfuttock
    Free Member

    I knew a farmer who covered himself in my shit once.

    I kid shit you not

    anagallis_arvensis
    Full Member

    it cant be good in the quantity ive seen being put on fields around here. how this is right for the environment ive no idea”

    Too much slurry can be bad for the environment and cause eutrophcation in water sources. However it will also kill off the grass if too much is used. Manure ( a mix of straw and dung) is much better. I could go on at length but may bore you to death.

    jimjam
    Free Member

    user-removed

    I can still remember when they used to spray blood and offal on the fields

    They still do on the farms around Consett. Fish guts seems to be the general consensus. Impossible to breathe for a few days (I’m posting from the afterlife). [/quote]

    I thought that was illegal now? I know they banned it in ROI. I used to remember seeing the foxes coming out in the evening and dragging bits of cows stomachs away. Weird memories.

    CountZero
    Full Member

    it cant be good in the quantity ive seen being put on fields around here. how this is right for the environment ive no idea. can i also add why they feel the need to drive on the roads for 5+ miles at rush hour times with tractor/trailer ?

    How do you know what quantities are being spread? Have you been measuring the capacity of each tankful and counting the number of tanks used?
    Or are you just making shit up?
    As regards the distances, blame the amount of money many farmers get for their produce, particularly milk, which is cheaper than bottled water, which has caused many farmers to sell up, the land being bought by other better off farmers or farm combines, to expand their production capability, which means farm vehicles, often owned by contractors, spend much more time on the road travelling between the various fields owned by each farm.
    It is a requirement that a farm vehicle pull in where practical to allow a build-up of traffic to pass, but that depends on the roads; I followed a large tractor and trailer for eight or nine miles along a Dorset A-road, because there wasn’t a single layby or straight stretch of road to pass on or for the driver to pull into.
    These, I’m afraid, are facts of life.
    Get used to it or stay in the city where you won’t be inconvenienced by slow-moving farm vehicles.
    Lots of other slow-moving vehicles, but at least they won’t be muddy and smelly. Or at least smelly.

    rwamartin
    Free Member

    well, it’s working. That’s one less tourist coming down here, clogging up our roads and getting in the way whilst we’re out mountain biking or walking the Preselis/coast path.
    I hear Cornwall is a good place to visit this time of year. 😉

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    Fertiliser they use around here stinks of weed

    Oh, wondered what that was every now & then when out on a ride 😳

    Or are you just making shit up?

    😉

    Mister-P
    Free Member

    I thought this was going to be bum related.

    geoffj
    Full Member

    Dairy industry innit. Stop drinking milk. Simples

    big_n_daft
    Free Member

    Do you have some kind of competition with each other as to who can create the most unholy, eye watering, vomit inducing stench and still be allowed to spread this filth over fields? Do you ever manage to concoct anything so offensive to the senses that you consider it a step too far and dispose of it or do you just throw it around anyway while chuckling to yourselves? I am guessing the latter. Seriously, some of the smells my nose had to suffer on the way home from Pembrokeshire made my 2 year olds stomach bug s@#t filled nappies smell like roses.

    Because all the local nimby’s object to any application for an AD plant that will knock most of the odour out.

    how can a winters season of cow manure be concentrated into a few evenings spreading for each farm.

    Nitrate vulnerable zones have restrictions on what and when can be spread, as well as good farming practice

    zippykona
    Full Member

    I had a job once to check farmer’s slurry.
    It was really boring and I’d often day dream . Eventually I got the sack as my boss reckoned I was just going through the motions.

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    I think that you will find that I have spelt it correctly in my second post thus nullifying the initial error. It will only take one more correct use of the apostrophe to bring me into positive territory. Farmers. So there…

    I will find you and I will kill you to death.

    mechanicaldope
    Full Member

    I will find you and I will kill you to death.

    Sidebar please ya honour. Apart from the admittedly wrong use in the topic subject (which may or may not have been caused by auto correct), as all uses of ‘farmers’ have been in the plural sense and not in the contractual or possessive term of the word, I therefore think that I could be excused, or at the very least given the benefit of the doubt. My over use of commas should be considered a separate and unrelated issue.

    Now, perhaps we can get back onto why all farmers want to kill us with stench…
    /Sidebar

    allthepies
    Free Member

    Upwind would have been more effective. 🙂

    granny_ring
    Full Member

    Sorry, I thought this thread was going to be about the OP having difficulty sitting on his saddle…..

    jambalaya
    Free Member

    He used his most lethal concoction on a neighbouring field that was downwind.

    Just think how much more effective it would have been had it been upwind 😉 (I see @allthepies rather beat me to it)

    OP apologies sacrasm was lost on me. My wife isna city girl and really struggles with the smells of the countryside, cuddly lambs are ok but sh.t is an issue 🙂

    andyl
    Free Member

    cuddly lambs are ok but sh.t is an issue

    “Cuddly lambs” have a habit of pooing down your leg when you hold them. Putting the tail and castration rings on male ones is usually a lovely experience of getting covered in sticky yellow poo.

    whatyadoinsucka
    Free Member

    Cant beat a bit of slurry in the air, need more to keep house prices down

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 45 total)

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