SBrock,
D'you know what, I haven't read the earlier threads referred to above. They don't matter. You're her father and she needs her father regardless of what has gone on between you and her mother.
I'd be seeking legal help. Good luck.
Oh, and can't we all just be nice to each other? 
I'm with the two sides to every story brigade, rather than the 'he's on STW and is therefore blameless' crew...
I think I said this on one of the other threads...there are actually three sides. The OP's, his ex's and somewhere in the miggle, there's the truth.
(I've lived with and put up with the same miserable bee one tee cee aich for 4 kids worth), now and again it's totally worth it, most of the time it's a major drag, that's what bikes are for, but easy it aint' but never once did I think to abandon them because I'd fallen out with their psycho mother.
Well, there's 4 damaged kids in the making. Nohing like a happy home to nurture young minds, eh?
If it isn't working together, apart is worth looking at.
Don't worry, Derek, at least you are sure it isn't your fault.
Fair enouvh crikey. Can you tell us what hes done to warrant loss of contact then?
two sides to every story.
Amen. OP I'm guessing here but you split from her when your ex-partner had literally just given birth? You wonder why shes **** angry? **** me maybe we could recommend a self-awareness course?
Can you tell us what hes done to warrant loss of contact then?
How do you know he's lost contact.........because he says so ?
It's fairly clear that the guy needs to be regularly reassured by a bunch of strangers on the internet who know zilch, that his ex, which he abandoned with their young baby last Christmas, is Mrs Unreasonable, whilst he on the hand, is Mr Reasonable - the evidence for his innocence appears to be that he rides a mtb.
Surely it would be more useful and constructive if he were to seek the advice of family and friends who actually know his situation and ex partner ? Or aren't they telling him what he wants to hear ?
He's started 2 threads to garner sympathy because his ex committed the horrendous crime of getting her child christened. The first one to say how upset he was that she was going to do it, and then the second one a few weeks later to tell everyone that it had come as an unexpected shock.
Now he's saying :
SBrock - MemberShe has played this card before, so I'm now considering a contact order but have been reading so many bad things about CAFCASS that they paint you as the baddie.
Posted 16 hours ago
But hang on a second....... it was all apparently sorted out over 6 months ago :
SBrock - MemberI'm going to speak to the Court tomorrow and ask them for a Contact Order form C79.
Posted 6 months ago
He starts these threads to invite people's opinions, I've given mine, will I also get banned for giving the 'incorrect opinion' ie, not the "there there you poor thing, she sounds like a terrible nasty woman" ?
Whatever the situation here, posting on a mountain bike forum is unlikely to do anything other than make you feel better if everyone posts in support, which in this case they've not done. Bit of an own goal.
In the real world though, the one where you want to see your daughter, the only sensible thing you can do is follow the rules as closely as possible. Speak to a solicitor, get some proper advice, and follow it.
On top of that, try to maintain some 'normal' communication with your ex. You don't have to be the best of friends, but equally, it doesn't have to be solely via solicitors' letters. Don't get drawn into arguments, nor rise to the bait. Note down anything you see as a breach of the rules.
Finally, your referring to your ex as 'bitter and twisted' is telling. The cliche that all exes are somehow dreadful women who hate all men is, quite frankly, rather lazy. In my experience, women (and men) tend to be angry only if they have a reason to be;, and from what I've seen, the people referring to their ex in relentlessly negative terms are often the cause of the problem, even if they don't realise it themselves.
I despise the term 'snake with t*ts'. There are always two sides to every story.
Everytime I've heard its from blokes who are abit 'wideboy' or haven't grown up.
Two sides to every story, and even though we've only heard his it seems to point towards things being not as one sided as claimed.
It's the children I feel sorry for.
SBrock, Go down the legal route. Worked for me, have loads of time with my boy (although its never enough) and now have a workable/amiable relationship with his mum..
Takes time, but worth it.
when my ex wanted to go abroad with my nipper i talked to a solicitor. i said she could go but wanted a legal agreement about them having internet access- times to chat, flight contributions etc. the ex decided against going abroad but it was nice to know the solicitor thought i had every right and would easily get these things granted if it came to court.
the law has changed some point in the last 10 years to favour male access especially if you have been a present and reasonable father figure to the child already. the courts are likly to favour you if you can show this.
a solicitor is the only way out of your mess. you need to let her know YOUR rights as a parent. do this in writing and be polite. dont get wound up. if she goes off on one dont get sucked in.
However you need to be 100% honest to your solicitor in every regard otherwise it will come out in the end (and look really bad on you) and the advice given wont be right.
Won't somebody think of the children?!
^ Indeed.
she needs her father regardless of what has gone on between you and her mother.
That's the first post in this whole sorry tale which even mentions what is best for the bairn. It might not be true (i.e. She might not need her father), but at least it mentions her needs!
Get over the battle with your Ex, and BOTH of you HONESTLY consider what is best for HER.
Clue - She's not a prize in this 'competition'
FFS!
Agree Dave but maybe the Mother thinks the 'bairn' really is better off without her biological Father.
Maybe one day the mother will meet a decent bloke who will be a father figure to the child.
After all, we aren't all better off for knowing our fathers. I had years of 'access' to my own Father and as soon as I was listened to I cut off all contact with him.
Sometimes 'what is best' isn't one of the parents in the equation. Again, we aren't party to the break up or what the Mother knows.
as soon as I was listened to I cut off all contact
So if we pretend to listen you'll flounce off?
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