especially for the mouthy bloke on the conference call

I don’t care that you want to call something “Agreed” as opposed to the global company standard of “Confirmed”. It really isn’t that important and the whole corporation isn’t going to change the standards to accommodate your wish that we make it clear that the point has been agreed by the people who confirmed it.

45 minutes of this so far. 1 person believing that he can convince the other 11. It is like that film about the court jurors apart from this time he won’t succeed

Just keep saying “negative”, “over” … 😆

It is like that film about the court jurors apart from this time he won’t succeed

…but he was right, though, wasn’t he 8)

There’s a company standard on how to say “yes”? Wow. That’s anal. 🙂

More importantly, did you get biscuits in this meeting?

He was and he was saving someones life.

This guy just ‘thinks it sends a better message to show the whole team agree’ on a document that basically just records that everyone relevant and read what we have said they are responsible for and confirmed that they can do it.

Once everyone has confirmed that we can proceed with the project.

He is now asking for a meeting to discuss the wording of the standard documents to see if we can have a ‘sentiment’ column showing how ‘positive’ the respondent is about their confirmation

Tell him to ringfence the unicorn?

It is an electronic form with drop down lists to select from.

It is a web meeting so no biscuits but at least I get to sit here just in my underwear*

I will tell him right where to stick the unicorn

*just been asked by someone else in the office who is not in the meeting to put my clothes back on

surely that would be murder not euthanasia, agreed?

Suggest he takes an action to propose a harmonic approach that captures all the synergies between disparate interpretations of corporate communications and linguistic strategy.

A friend of mine used to work from home and regularly attended telephone conferences naked.

His wife made him stop after he left a skid mark on a dining chair.

This is a true story.

“A friend…” sure, we believe you

surely that would be murder not euthanasia, agreed?

Interesting proposal. Mind if I run it up the flagpole?

My boss is in Detroit and being a typical american work-a-holic will often sign-on at about 5am EST. Not being too good at the technology side of things she mistakenly video called me over Lync a while ago. Christ, did I spit my tea out when a vision of her in her pyjamas and hair net suddenly appeared on my screen.

I spend 25mins on a call yesterday which essentially went like this:

Client: You were wrong, don’t you agree?
LHS: I think we will have to agree to disagree on that point.
Client: No, I think you were wrong, do you agree?
LHS: Let’s agree to disagree
Client: No, you were wrong, agreed…

And on, and on, and on.

Have you reached out to him yet?

LHS: Let’s agree to disagree
Client: No, you were wrong, agreed…

And on, and on, and on. see, you need a different word for “agree”

“A friend…” sure, we believe you

My dining chairs are leather so they can be wiped clean.

My dining chairs are leather so they can be wiped clean.

Well, they are now. Would have been silly of you to replace the last lot of skiddered ones with the same material.

i am happy to confirm your disagreement.

Shirley it’s Murder being the prefered option in this instance? However if you use some mitigation then it’ll drop to Manslaughter (he’s being pedantic)so you’ll get less of a sentance and lets face it be off into an Open Prison within about a month and a half and therefore able to pop home, eat buscuits and continue to attend meetings in your pants..

That’d be my defence M’Ld.

Currently working with someone who keeps wanting to “go upstream” on a daily basis and I can’t help think of salmon every time he says it.

If he ever gets there, he probably will also deposit his eggs.

Or be eaten by a bear?

Interesting proposal. Mind if I run it up the flagpole?

Genius

Currently working with someone who keeps wanting to “go upstream” on a daily basis

this always make me think of those little fish/parasites that swim up your pee into your Johnson.

Tell him you’ll mark it up as a CBA – Can’t be arsed, have used this in client meetings in the past and disemissed it as internal lingo, always put a smile on my face.

I don’t like the word euthanasia, it sounds like a new continent, or a combination of continents like Erasure, or an old super-continent that used to exist, like Panacea.
I don’t think Euthanasia is the Panacea you are looking for.

Even the longest journey can end in failure

“Confirm” and “agree” are two different things. I can confirm a plan whilst disagreeing with it.

Client: No, I think you were wrong, do you agree?
LHS: Let’s agree to disagree

“Yes, I agree that that’s what you think.”

I know the difference between confirm and agree. The correct response choices were Confirm or Deny.

The question was something like :

Team X will be responsible for the production of document Y.
Ownership of the document creation responsibility is person Y.

Person Y accepts this responsibility: Confirm/Deny

The idea is that everyone knows what they have to do and has to confirm that they accept this

What do I have to do in this? Anything?

I feel left out, I thought this was a team!!!

I feel persicuted!!!

Bugger you lot I’m off, berks.

“Yes, I agree that that’s what you think.”

I think we’ll have to confirm to disagree about your agreement. We can circle back to reflect on the turn-back nature of your disagreement if you confirm that your disagreement is indeed valid. We should be moving forward to a seemless pro-active synergy which resonates in a future-proof, glass half-full transparent nature. If we elevate to a 60,000ft perspective and do a quick and dirty analysis of the low hanging fruit of your disagreement argument, we should be able to touch base to ensure we don’t disappear down a rabbit hole every time a game changing disagreement materialises.

Have you reached out to him yet?

Came across this for the first time a few weeks ago. Support guy in the state emailed “Feel free to reach out to me if this does not work.” 😯

“Could someone prepare a download of the audio and play it back to me?” is a phrase frequently heard in my office. It doesn’t have anything to do with voice-recording software, what these insufferable jackasses mean is “tell me what was said on the phone call”.

Came across this for the first time a few weeks ago.

You’re bloody lucky! I hear it all the time from the wanna be yanks in the office. Don’t mind actual yanks saying it.

What do I have to do in this? Anything?
I feel left out, I thought this was a team!!!
I feel persicuted!!!
Bugger you lot I’m off, berks.

Can’t decide if this is the best, or worst, flounce. Ever….