Got a few mates round on Saturday for beer, crisps, bad euro-pop and some xenophobia.

My predictions without hearing a single note played.

UK – Dead last with a total of 12 points or less. The only nations that will give us anything are Malta and Cyprus.

France – Top five because they said “Non” to Le Pen.

Finland – Most memorable song for whatever reason.

Albania – Vampiric Bonnie Tyler clone.

Romania – Accordions.

Greece – No socks.

Russia – Winners because they have all of the gas and armoured vehicles, and Putin has had the voting knobbled.

I’ve got a kidney stone to pass.

Australia for the win, doing a swap with the UK, got a good rate to take up their place for 8.5bn a year

I’ve got a kidney stone to pass.

Didn’t Norway win with that?

I want Australia to win, because no one seems to have noticed they’re not actually in Europe.

I’ve got a kidney stone to pass.

Didn’t Norway win with that?

You can’t go wrong with a ballad.

It gets a bit shouty at the end.

Didn’t Norway win with that?

jon1973 – Member

I want Australia to win, because no one seems to have noticed they’re not actually in Europe.

Yeah and Azerbaijan is half in Asia and Isreal is in the Middle East.

But that’s the limit of my interest.

This is a trick question, right?

Yeah, probably be watching it while furiously hitting the F5 button to refresh the official STW Eurovision thread.

Unless the Polish milkmaids make a reappearance. Then I’ll be glued.

You can always analyse regional politics and suss out who’ll win.

I’m going to shove a tenner on France, despite the countries on Russia’s potential hit list voting for them out of shear terror

We’re absolutely nailed on for last with nil point. Are you happy now? Are you?!!!

I want a Circassian Song to win if they appear. 😛

They might represent Russia or Turkey but either way I am fine.

A strong and stable performance from the uk resulting in a declaration of war on the Eurovision if the rules aren’t rewritten to ensure we win every time.

Coverage here in Eurovision mad Sweden starts tomorrow, which is great as the Swedish entrant is a total dreamboat

Theresa may was going to be the british entry, but she got pulled out as they didnt want her to fail twice in public voting.

bbc4 now, eurovision semi finals

Clints a handsome bastard

Love Eurovision, but tonight I wanted to watch the Giro. Had to watch it on the phone as the OH wanted Eurovision on. There seemed to be a fair amount of boobage on show tonight, I wonder if this is a trend this year.

howsyourdad1 – Member

Coverage here in Eurovision mad Sweden starts tomorrow, which is great as the Swedish entrant is a total dreamboat

Going by that picture he may be an actual boat

am I f…..

Donald’s going to win with the biglyest number of votes ever seen, fact.

And Mexico are writing his entry.

I too shall be glued multiscreen to twitter, STW and Eurovision; one of the funniest nights of the year. And if Poland can top their rustic farmhands year, I shall probably die of exhaustion.

Is the Swedish entrant attempting a “blue steel”?

(Can’t wait – best televised event of the year)

Ritual Humiliation, by any other name.

I can’t believe they put it on at the same time as Britain’s Got Talent. So inconsiderate.

[inappropriate]I’m keeping my finger’s crossed for a repeat of the Polish Milk Churners…..[/inappropriate]

Theresa and Philip will be apparently.

She added: “Although I’m not sure, in current circumstances, how many votes we will get.”

I’m away with friends for the weekend. The what’s app group has started to fill up with Eurovision. I’m hoping the village has a good pub with a decent selection of beer.

But if the Polish milk maids are back then I might stay in.

I miss Terry but it is my guilty pleasure. Hilarious. Like a digital monty python sketch.

I’m going to a eurovision party on Saturday night, I’m driving, shoot me now please.

Like a digital monty python sketch.

If only it was that short.

I love it.

Camp terrible pop with the most elaborate staging in the world.

Followed by 90 minutes of political intrigue.

Added bonus point for gratuitous displays of flesh and a heavy does of knowing sarcasm from Graham Norton

My brother loves it- he’s a theatre light/sound guy so he’s into the spectacle, so he’s gone for the last few years. This year, apparently it’s all total chaos so he’s not doing it but he was planning the oddest holiday ever- one day, eurovision, the next, Pripyat.

gastromonkey – Member
But if the Polish milk maids are back then I might stay in.

The milk maids were sadly absent but the singer was trying her best not to spill out of her dress last night. Poland got through to the final so there will be a repeat performance…..

Strewth. There’s a video for ‘we are slavic girls’ that makes the live performance look like a tea party.

NSFW https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syMhJMmGEIc

but my butter has been well and truly churned.

No.
I’d rather run naked through Marple with wee in my shoes, bombers attached to my back and a conveyor belt on my head, eating a Gregg’s all day breakfast pasty.

I shall watch it so long as there are no attention freaks about … 😆

We’re absolutely nailed on for last with nil point. Are you happy now? Are you?!!!

#rollseyes
Remind me, when did we last win Eurovision?
Or come in the top three?
Meanwhile, I’ll continue searching the house for the rat’s ass I couldn’t give.

You’re joking, right? I’m struggling to see either of those voting for us.

I’ll be watching though – guaranteed entertainment of one sort or another.

Oh hang on – could we get Diane Abbot to do the counting?