Please ignore, maybe a kind mod can delete… 😀

I’ve been with EE since they were Freeserve. Same complaints as everyone else when the phone line goes wrong I imagine. They have to run you through the script even when you’ve already done all the tests yourself then they send a pre engineer round to check you’ve done it right before they send the real engineer round. I’ve no plans to move away though.

Do you really want a pet tiger though? Sure it’s not the kids pressuring you?

I’ve always ignored parking tickets too.

I’d go with gold personally

You too could have a Macan.

Wesley Snipes, in the billiard room, with the grape scissors.

I usually whack it with a copy of The Speedway Star until it goes back to normal.
You might need to replace the bearings, or try wider bars.

If all else fails, have you tried being generally unpleasant to otters?

Clearly your neighbour’s fault.

Slippery. Very, very slippery.

Clearly your neighbour’s fault.

I call bullshit, the valves and logos are clearly not aligned.

My nearest neighbour is not Proxima centuri but Bob next door.

You’ll find if you clean it with Chickpeas it’ll come up quite nicely.

37.435

I am the Great Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!

huhuhuhuhuh

That punctuation mark is no good on an apostrophe thread.

Only if the treadmill is going at over 35mph.

Buff it. And keep buffing until you can buff no more.

I’d put sudocrem on it.

If that doesn’t help, give it some chamomile tea and take it to a vet.

Does in green with zips?