often got "your other left"

"Look at the tits on her!"
"Eyes on the road"

My grandmother, teaching me me the basics before moving to an instructor, on it being the first day of May:

'Reminds me of what we used to say in the army – hooray, hooray, the first of May. Outside F***ing starts today. Mind that lamp-post Colin'.

Fantastic woman.

"You do the driving, I'll do the letching"

"get yer foot in – it's not a hearse"

(LOL at scienceofficer's gran)

After 4 weeks in and a 7 car overtake at about 98mph on an A road my police driving instructor simply said …. "nice progression"

After 4 weeks in and a 7 car overtake at about 98mph on an A road my police driving instructor simply said …. "nice progression"

"Golf Lima Foxtrot" 😉

Army paid for me to learn to drive. The thing was you had to use an army examiner – the only examiner in Aberdeen at the time was my own Platoon Sargeant.

I'll never forget the advice he gave me the night before the test – 'get me pissed tonight and i'll be too hung over to spot your mistakes!

worked a treat!

An ex traffic policeman was my instructor,car was mini 1250 sport that had been breathed on.

Classic on was "IMAGINE THAT STEERING WHEEL IS A RIGID TURD ,IT WILL BE OOZING THRU YOUR HANDS RIGHT NOW."

One afternoon traveling up the two lane section of wells road in Bath
"THATS MY MATES YELLOW FIRE ENGINE UP THERE , DROP INTO SECOND N PUT YUR FOOT DOWN N CATCH THE BUGGER"