never really appealed to me, will give it a go later

when drunk

but that's what a Pythagoras piss is designed to deal with?

Also; I have to undo my top button / belt some days as my choice of grundy is an athletic cycling short sort of thing with no fly, and it's far easier then trying to get it over the waistband but under the top button.

i have not laughed this hard for a while, especially when grahams is so worried about his chino splashback! total alan partridge vision popped into my head.

for the record i have not nor will ever sit down for a widdle, its against gods law.

I seem to remember some news story about German law requiring men to sit to piss, but my google-fu is weak and I can't find it.

How long does it take you to have a pee?
Seriously, if that's what you get up to whilst having a pee, you should think about a medical checkup

it literally takes maybe 3 seconds to get my phone out and see if I have any unread mail.
But if I'm on work time I might have a quick game of Bejewelled while I'm sat there 🙂

Aim at the right bit of the urinal, however I too believe there's an inherent design flaw in all urinals which I'm currently addressing

While I'm sure every urinal has a "sweet spot" my chino testing reveals that the only truly effective technique is to stand at an angle and piss slightly sideways, but this does tend to upset the bloke standing next to you.

the same can happen when sat, leading to unknown wetting of trousers

Schoolboy error. You still need to keep a hand on it, lest the beast rise up and brush against the porcelain.

> Shaking..
I'm starting to get the feeling you really lack coordination

The chinos don't lie. Many is the man can be seen walking out of the loo with the wet spot of shame proudly decorating his crotch.

Sitting down provides convenient paper for properly drying your nib before sheathing your quill.

Phone out while mid-loo use, hygienic.

eh? I'm not wiping my arse with it!

In, breeks down, left hand on Mr Thomson, right hand into pocket to retrieve phone.

Operations completed, phone back in pocket, clean up and re-trouser.

No opportunity for a unhealthy micturate/phone interface at all.

any man wearing chinos deserves multiple piss stains

The problem isn't limited to chinos though. Any pair of light-coloured slacks will reveal the same uretic friendly-fire.

HERE IS THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION!

I thought this was a troll until I read the posts.
How bizarre!
Unless you have a medical problem, men stand to urinate.
Collectively. Holding hands (or whatever else comes to hand!).

light-coloured slacks

same rules apply

Class thread – STW is a mine of information.

Took a piss in the train station trough a couple of weeks back, imagine a pretty busy 10+ wide trough.
Obviously we're all eyes down, get on and get out.
Except the guy far right, who (and I wasn't about to start checking out) seemed to be 'shaking' from when I walked in to when I walked out, whilst doing a fair bit of glancing on his part.

same rules apply

Khakis?

I was having a pee in the trough / urinal at Waterloo (no pun intended) when a guy dashes in, clearly anxious, sees all the sit-downs are taken, pulls his suit trews down, backs up to the trough and, well he had liquid, explosive squits!
I’ve never seen grown men move so fast with their tackle hanging out!
I laughed all day about how many men got sprayed and how fast they all moved on mass.

chinos = preppy
slacks = alan partridge
khakis = rohan man

i'm happy to provide a personal shopping service at a matalan near you 😉

Ti29er, any pics? 😀

So what your saying is that it doesn't matter if you're covered in pish, as long as your sartorially-correct trousers are a dark enough colour that it isn't too obvious? 😉

Right, my legs have totally gone to sleep sitting here…

The joke was on me once.

I took a communal dump in a bus station public loo in some Chinese Hell-hole during the morning rush hour back in my travelling days.

This was in 1987, so many of these men had never seen a westerner close up, let alone The fabled Missing Link (I'm very hairy) having a dump.

Just one long concrete gouge in the floor, that's all there was for us to use. Well, there we all were, sitting comfortably, some 20+ of us, all of them staring at me, many had that morning's paper in front of them, doing the cross word perhaps (?).

Well, then the westerner – me – ripped a page from his book, then another (sorry Mr Jeffery Archer), and proceeded to wipe his rear end! Lord Above! No one had ever witnessed a man wiping his backside before! I’m serious, none of the locals need use loo roll as they eat mostly rice and don’t have hairy bottoms. I caused quite a stir that day, even now it’s known as Monkey-Boy Tuesday in Canton Bus Terminal!

I know someone who might have sat down with a boner and pished all over the bathroom. He'd had a bit to drink.

does give you twice the chance of getting some reading done.

I once peed while sitting…. driving a car!!!!
Serious. I was driving to Heathrow airport with my wife and our baby boy.
Traffic was heavy and there was nowhere to pull over.
And my back was aching badly from the need to go.
So I managed to get my pants down to my knees and requested a disposable nappy.
I filled two of them. Those nappies have amazing absorption qualities.
😳

Nzcol.
You can't pee with a boner.

oh lordy sputnik
I still think if you can't piss standing up without pissing on your hand, you don't really have the coordination skills for riding a mtb

Right, my legs have totally gone to sleep sitting here…

PMSL 😆

my mum says that it doesn't make you less of a man… and he should know… shouldn't she?

Why do we love toilet humour so much…Class! 😆

Ti29er – Member

Nzcol.
You can't pee with a boner.

I beg to differ. What is more, sitting down to pee with said schlong-on would certainly result in manimal/enamel interface – eugh. Which is why those above who have mentioned post-coitus sit-peeing have left me wondering how they cope…

(But not wondering to the extent that I'd like that answered.)

Bananaworld, in answer to your querie…

I find that on completing the sit-down-wee, no matter how long I spend thrashing my manhood around beneath me, when I stand up, I emit a steady dribble. So, far more chance of a "blue on blue" incident when wearing light coloured action slacks.

This thread reminds me of the time I was enjoying a long-awaited gypsy's kiss at Keele services. Half way through, a black fellow came sprinting in, unleashed the largest member I've ever seen and proceeded to practically bore a hole in the back of the urinal with his jet.

"Jesus Christ," he said. "I only just made it…"

I replied "Excellent job, can you make me one?"

(IGMC)

no matter how long I spend thrashing my manhood around beneath me, when I stand up, I emit a steady dribble. So, far more chance of a "blue on blue" incident

Are you an elderly?

Old men often need to pee standing up, cos sitting down they lack the prostate/bladder/pelvic-floor strength to give the u-bend bit of their tubes a good squeeze at the end of the performance.

Not elderly, it's always been the reason I avoid sit-down-wees unless I'm delivery other goods at the same time.

I'm not talking about gallons, pobably just the volume of the part of the pisspipe that runs through the tallywhacker.

Enough to leave a "wet penny" in my pocket.

post-coitus sit-peeing have left me wondering how they cope…

Once it's post (after) it's no longer a boner!
It's simply not possible to urinate when your erectile tissues are full of blood.

It's simply not possible to urinate when your erectile tissues are full of blood.

Of course it is. OK, so it's rather a weak dribble, but millions of Germans do this every day.
And for the record, yes, harder than the Times crossword.

If you're still "flying the flag" post-coitus then you're doing it wrong 😀

… or she's doing it very right. At 36 years old, I've recently rediscovered the joys of the "double tap". Granted, I don't break off for a leak between courses.

If you have had sex al fresco and needed to pee afterwards you know the feeling of aiming high.

Ti29er – Member

It's simply not possible to urinate when your erectile tissues are full of blood.

Yes it is.

OK lets vote

Who can pee with a boner, and who cant?

[cant]

I can. Aiming for the ceiling when seated. So either a shower room or outdoors (the balcony isn't really an option).

I can. But only if I use a complex arrangement of levers and pulleys to render my aim true and keep me from spraying the entire bathroom.

I can but only using the tall cupboard in the bathroom to hold myself against whilst wrestling with the blighter and trying to keep it pointing down.

It seems that bending it downward whilst sporting a hard on stops the flow of pee.

answer = tilt your entire body forward.

This of course doesn't always work, especially if your pi$$ed, leave the bathroom light off, reach for the said cupboard, and miss. 🙄

Getting back to the standing/sitting topic… A workmate of mine lives in switzerland and, shortly after moving in to a new flat, was instructed by a neighbour that he should sit down when peeing at night to avoid disturbing people by peeing directly into the water. He swears blind this conversation came out of the blue before he'd ever done any such thing.

^ Reason #6259 why I’m glad I’m not Swiss.

I witnessed the loos in a Chinese provincial airport about 10 years ago. It was a “squatting trough” in full view of the security desk. I was busting to go but waited until I got to the hotel, where the bathroom had more gold and marble than Liberace’s tomb.