Maybe a bit too personal a question, but what the hell, what else is an internet forum for eh? Maybe I'll become the new Hora 😉

Anyway… Over a period of time, I've noticed that not too long after I drink a cup of strong coffee (say a large cup of cafetiere brewed java), I have an overwhelming need to visit the bathroom… the timeframe is around 10-15 minutes or so, sometimes more/sometimes less… it's not a mild 'oh, it's time to visit the bathroom with todays paper' it's an urgent 'jesus fricken christ, I'm about to explode, where's a &%$@!£! bathroom!!?' type urge…

Any ideas what's going on? Is it physiological (some sort of response to the caffeine perhaps?) or physchological (I've become programmed that after a cup of coffee I must go to the loo)?

I await the mandatory derision and (perhaps) some useful comments/thoughts from the STW massive 🙂

cheers 8)

Yeah, though not quite so urgently as you apparently.

Yes, it stimulates everything, including the bowel. Some people can't have their morning 'movement' without a coffee….

Yep – delightful feeling, I find!

You reckon? It can be blingin inconvenient if there isn't a loo nearby… maybe I should wean myself off the stuff (that little graphic posted above is pretty impressive!)

You've obviously never heard of a "coffee push"!

don't worry, your not alone

yup 😉

Morning routine

1. coffee
2. fag
3. poo

in quick succession

My wife is all too aware of my morning coffee poo.

Yes not instant coffee, but if i have one from a high street shop, normally Costa, I generally need a poo within half an hour.

Kind of annoying if you meet up in the morning for a bike ride at a cafe, and nature is stimulated by the coffee ….

OK then… I'm not a freak, that's a relief. It's just such an (almost) immediate, urgent and pressing need that I was wondering if my guts were playing up!

Eh? Dosn't seem to do anything for my gut motility.

it's the old 'coffee cr4p countdown' – mine's usually about 15minutes…

i find it's a usefull reaction, if i think i'll benefit from dropping off a little ballast then a strong cup of coffee will sort me right out.

yeah i get this too. Has to be strong proper coffee though.

the day I ate a packet of 48 pro plus in one go, it didn't cause any (poo) problems. Mind you, I could have shat through the eye of a needle for about a week afterwards.

You ate 48 pro plus tablets in one day. Wouldn't cocaine have been a lot more effective?

That makes me poo too

No but libraries do.

If it's like fags then I think it's called a "parasympathetic reaction"…but I don't know what that means.

perhaps they should install fag & coffee dispensers in the traps, purely for those bunged up moments

I did eat a large bag of chocolate covered coffee beans in one sitting once. Don't ask me why. Didn't sleep for 3 days and our loo looked like a Jackson Pollock for about a week.

You ate 48 pro plus tablets in one day. Wouldn't cocaine have been a lot more effective?
possibly. I was very tired and had no access to cocaine however. And I didn't mean to eat that many, but I was drunk.

"parasympathetic reaction"…but I don't know what that means.

The parasympathetic nervous system controls the smooth muscle tone of your gut. The high levels of caffiene in your bloodstream are directly activating the M3 (? I think, did this ages ago) muscarinic receptors on your smooth muscle cells, amongst other activities.

cant you die from that many pro plus!?
swear it was in the ?news? someone od on them?

on topic…gives me a bit o wind but nothing that immeadiate 😉

cant you die from that many pro plus!?
I don't know if it's possible, but speaking from experience, I didn't.

its a stimulant and speeds up everything in your body inc the bowel.fags do the same and…a'hhm "recreational pharmacuticals" sadly a down side i found i was prone too when clubbing..(try and find a nice quite, clean loo in a rammed night club at 3am…aint happening.)

yep

weirdly so do libraries

Cycling/running seems to override it.

cant you die from that many pro plus!?

Well, it could precipitate a cardiac arrest or something, which is why the packet has doses etc printed on it for you to ignore 🙄

I find the effect is far quicker if youve had a curry the night before, seems to be pretty instantaneous, and a lot smellier!!

Would someone with access to YouTube PLEASE post a link to Green Wings Alan Statham administering himself a coffee enema…
(facial expression comedy at its finest!)

Depends on your caffeine tolerance. For me a single espresso will make it happen, but I'll have a bit more control on the timeframe; a double knocks it right out. I can only think it's why Italians (who eat lots of white bread with everything) are so keen on coffee…

Does coffee/caffeine give you the s**ts?

Only when I see the price of a decent sized jar. 😥

Bollocks, interesting post fail!

Generally tea / food or coffee about 20 minutes after waking make me go