I’m nearly 40 and I still can’t do these. At all, not even a squeak. Everyone in my office can do them and both my boys can do them. It’s the only thing missing from my repertoire. Anyone else unable to do them?

Its a recognised condition, there are support groups and you can get a blue badge so you can park closer to the shops.

Please say you can pretend your thumb has been cut off

It’s the only thing missing from my repertoire.

*snorts*

I’d love to see the tick list of accomplishments that this forms a part of 🙂

and both my boys can do them

Sorry, but you’re not their farter.

What about leg ones. That’s pretty special

Everyone in my office can do them

…and that, ladies and gentlemen, is your tax dollars hard at work. 😀

No problem at all with the cut off thumb, thank goodness.

bearnecessities – I have raised this with their mother but she points to the numerous similarities and says she’s reasonably confident that I am 🙂

perchypanther – tea breaks only 😉

Never was able at all, even as an 8 year old kid. I can get some sound out by licking my palms first, but it’s not very good.

I can get some sound out by licking my palms first, but it’s not very good.

I’d imagine the problem with this approach is when you have to do a second lick after an unsuccessful first attempt.

And, after a while, having armpits that smell like a bad sneeze.

Even in the shower?

Shave your armpits – you’ll get a better seal between hand and armpit then!

Not strictly relevant, but my daughter does gymnastics and spends a bit of time every evening doing stretches for flexibility. She has recently learned (taught herself) to do farts from ‘another’ part of her anatomy. She’s too young to understand why it reduces the wife to tears of laughter every time. And apparently I’m not allowed to introduce the term ‘queef’ either.

I can do armpit farts. You need a moist hand (or armpit) to effect a good seal and to cup some air in between palm and pit.

Are you not over reaching past your armpit bearing in mind your profession?

I go right round back to the armpit for that arm.

I’ll try it in the shower later on.

Have you tried taking your vest off?

FWIW I am a world class oxter jokester. Behind the knee, tunes..the lot.

And, after a while, having armpits that smell like a bad sneeze.

Yeah it’s not a pleasant outcome. I suppose being denied this particular tool in the junior raconteur’s toolbox drove me out of necessity to a higher level and has helped form the devastating wit and intellect that has contributed so much humour and mirth to STW, along with a VW Passat.

The oven saga (aga?) is simmering along nicely too.

Once you do learn, you never forget how.
I’m saying that as a 44 year old father whose 5 year old daughter is once again impressed with her dad!