I have a 3 foot piece of rather heavy hand rail leaning against the wall in the corner by the front door.
It was there when I moved in and I guess the previous owner who was an Elderly gentleman kept it there for self defence.

I really want to throw it away as it blocks out light from the door, falls over occasionally and is a general dust trap. But every time I do I think you never know I might need to hit someone over the head one day so leave it there.

If it wasn’t there when I moved in it would not have occurred to me to keep something there, but as it’s there I am reluctant get rid.

Anyone else tooled up, (members of the witham death squad need not reply).

have you ever felt the need when opening the front door to stove the person’s who’s knocking head in? 😕

Not yet, no.

I have two baseball bats ..as you never know when the urge for a game might take hold ..one in my car the other in my home ..weapons? ..no way officer !

Sounds like a useful thing to have taken off you in a fight.

I might need to hit someone over the head one day so leave it there.

What? Why, do you live in South Chicago?

I keep a selection of hats and gloves near the front door. I could give someone a slap with a pair of Aldi Men’s Winter Gloves (£4.99) perhaps?

Amateur….

A tactical torch is what you want. Then you are not ‘tooled up’.

Oh, by the door? Well yes, there are some cub-scout neckerchiefs. I could garrotte an intruder with one. I would have to roll it nice and tight first. Get the woggles off too, or would that help? Hmmmmm, need to think this through….

I have two baseball bats ..as you never know when the urge for a game might take hold ..one in my car the other in my home ..weapons? ..no way officer !

You ever tried swinging a baseball in a house? Good luck actually hitting the bad guy and not hitting the wall, light, door or ceiling while he is punching you in the face.

Better off with something shorter like a rounders bat.

Depends where you live. With nearly 30 years I. Current house and neither me or any neighbours ever being attacked on the doorstep I’ll take the chance of not being tooled up.

Probably more chance of injuring myself tripping over an object in the hall than needing to use it.

Purely by coincidence/laziness/untidiness I have a large park pedal spanner in easy reach on the landing should I hear anything downstairs that might need further investigation

Probably more chance of injuring myself

Same here. I’d be devastating in all the wrong ways.

I’ve got a shotgun in my house. Browning 12bore.

All I need to do is drive to work, get the gun safe keys, drive home, go back upstairs, get to the back of the spare bedroom cupboard and then remember I’ve not got any ammo in the house!. I find it helps me sleep better…..

So I guess I could hit someone with one of the many kids shoes by the door, or maybe poke them with the umbrella?

OP – I can’t believe that any 3ft long object is going to be too easy to swing around in a house should the need arise.

Half that, perhaps.

I’ve got a ‘locked and loaded’ M20 75mm recoilless rifle pointed at the front door at all times incase I need to repel invaders in an APC or smaller tank.

Next to the bed I keep a pair of 2010 888 WC Ti bombers if I REALLY want to make a statement, I know they’re banned under the Geneva convention, but if it comes down to them or me, I’ll use them. Funny enough Donald Trump’s been asking to hold them to warn off North Korea.

Nope – the big dog chews the bats so we had to stop leaving it near the door

We’ve got an air horn. I dare say it’d be more effective at shitting an intruder up through the element of surprise alone

Somnouk..
Actually that is what I’ve got …never actually had the need to use them as the sawn off shotgun does a good enough job .. 😀

Sounds like a useful thing to have taken off you in a fight.

unless your a martial arts expert you aren’t taking a bat off anyone, I would think the average house burgling drug addict would see you wielding your bat and run a mile!

With the current weapon of choice for the scum bags being acid, you would probably be better off with a full face motorcycle helmet . If you are feeling particularly defensive you could also drop the nut on then whilst wearing it.
Might look a bit daft punk answering the door in it though 😯

I could give someone a slap with a pair of Aldi Men’s Winter Gloves (£4.99) perhaps?

LOL. nice one. It’s the inclusion of the price that really makes it. 😆

My grandmother had a rounders bat under her bed, she said it was ‘in case of snakes’

I have loads of weapons in the house* but i keep them all in my bedroom so that any burglar entering cannot get hold of them and attack me with them. None are within easy reach and I have only used one once when a drunk man with one shoe knocked on my back door to ask if we could be friends at 3 am. I only took it because i was on crutches and unable to actually defend myself but it was not used or threatened as he was , to put it mildly, just very confused. Plod did turn up pretty sharpish as well.

Might use them to defend the stairs whilst waiting for plod but there is not enough use to swing them in most of my house.

Not sure why anyone feels the need to have a bat in their car and their house.

* martial arts training equipment.

I suppose I could ‘have at’ a would-be assailant with an ill-tuned ukulele?

unless your a martial arts expert you aren’t taking a bat off anyone

Its not as hard as you think especially if they cannot swing it at you and they have no idea what to do with it.

I would think the average house burgling drug addict would see you wielding your bat and run a mile!

Yes that is the thing about drug addicts , criminals and the flight or fight response …so easy to predict the response to a given high stress situation 😕

Your goal is to be alive after the event hold the higher ground on the stairs and call the police they will be there very quickly if someone is in your house at the time.
Anyone who can fight knows the best response is still not to unless you have to.

Yes a large rubber mallet on the basis its less likely to kill someone than a metal hammer.

Junkyard ..ever been on the end of road rage attack ?
That’s my reason for one in the car ..it may be of no use but it makes me feel more at ease as I find it very hard to back down ( stupid I know )…

I liberal sprinkling of Lego.
God it hurts.

I have two attack poodles, anyone comes here and their shins are toast!
And according to the Mrs I am a weapon..

If anyone gets into my flat then they must be very determined and fit. 3 locked doors and 104 stirs to get past – to say nothing of 8 offices full of expensive stuff at lower levels that they would have gone past

BTW – if you really have baseball bats around make sure you have some baseballs as well as a bat on its own is an offensive weapon unless you are going to play baseball – which is very hard to do without a ball

Recurve bow and hunting arrows in the bedroom wardrobe. Just pointing it at someone would likely provoke the same reaction as a rubber band at full stretch 😀

My grandmother had a rounders bat under her bed, she said it was ‘in case of snakes’

Trouser snakes?

A very loud sound system and a Henry hoover tube?

Ok seriously, I suppose if someone was trying to kill me I would grab a short knife with a grippy handle and lock myself in the bathroom and hope I don’t have to try to use it!

We have a selection of paperweights on the shelf by the door.

I have no idea why.

I’ve a set of Bombers.

I reckon a small powder extinguisher would be one of the more effective items. Can deploy without getting too close, and then if they haven’t backed off you can smack them with the cylinder whilst they are half blinded/spluttering. And obviously the nice side effect of mild breathing difficulties/lung irritation if they breath it in…

Vicious attack kitten – He’s a Rag Doll, and if you google it, they are bloody useless – they will let anyone pick them up for a cuddle.

I do carry one of those ‘legal’ ink sprays when out on my bike on my own down the lanes/canals at night. Mainly as my route crosses a couple of areas where big gangs of teens hang out. Just in case they decide they want my bike, a few of them will have non-washable red ink on their faces for a week – might be difficult explaining that when going home.

I know a guy that protects his bikes with an alarm mine – basically a blank shotgun cartridge that’s linked to a wire. It’s worked as a potential thief left a fair amount of skin and blood behind when the alarm went off and his arm hit the chain rings.

And according to the Mrs I am a weapon

You probably misheard.

Its not as hard as you think especially if they cannot swing it at you and they have no idea what to do with it.

Swing it junkyard? Use it as a battering ram right in their face more like, just because you don’t know how to handle yourself doesn’t mean we don’t. 😆