try not to beat yourself up too much emma.. sometimes you have to change gear and just very gently keep plugging away at it for a while until you see the little signs that things are starting to go your way again..

nothing is constant except change..

Thanks Yunki x

I consider myself a failure, other people don’t seem to have noticed. That’s a result in my book. Breathe on.

Not really no. Sometimes I think I messed everything up. Lot of wasted potential.

I’ve done alright as far as work and life experiences and all that rubbish goes, quite happy there, but I’m an emotional and social cripple and I feel that’s what really counts. Sometimes I feel happy, but normally I don’t. I always assumed unhappiness was the natural male state.

Ho hum.

Whoah, I know where you’re coming from but I hope that’s just the Christmas blues talking. At least you realise what the important things are, eh?

I think being too hard on themselves is the natural state for a lot of men. Myself included.

nothing is constant except change..

Usually quoted to me by somebody making me redundant, but still true. Things not brilliant here now but they have been before and I’m confident they will be again.

🙂

Emma, NO, please don’t beat yourself up. If you want to email me and talk please do.

Yes I do consider myself to be a success, I hope that doesn’t sound immodest.

In most senses, yes. Financially/careerwise I’ve done far better than I’d have ever dreamed. Married for 20 years (I tried hard to wreck this but came to my senses), 2 great kids. Life’s genuinely good.

But I have to work astonishingly hard to maintain this, and there are a zillion things I’d rather be doing than what I do to earn a living. In that sense, I’m a total failure.

All of that said, I was thrashing a 4.7litre V8 round Fraser Island yesterday, with my wife and kids alongside me. We were all laughing like loons as the bumps got bigger. Then we saw a hugely photogenic dingo on the way back to the campsite. Pretty much a perfect day. It’s not what I’d necessarily call a classic definition of success, but it’ll do for me. The job…….it just has to provide enough cash to do the things I want to do.

I guess yes but there are things I need to improve on which require courage. One thing I needed to do was get out of a job that paid well but was bad for me mentally. Done it. Left the country. That’s helped.

It depends on how you define “success”.

My older brother has two houses, a wife and two lovely daughters, earns four times as much as I do and is a really nice bloke to boot. He has his problems though and his life is far from perfect.

I on the other hand am by no means wealthy, don’t own the home I live in and have struggled at being the stepfather I aspire to be. I do however have a job I love, the most amazing partner I could ever wish for and I feel generally very content. I’d say that I’m successful too.

At the moment I’d probably say not really, but that’s probably christmas blues talking and not really being where I want to be and doing the things I want to do just at the moment.

But in the bigger scheme of things I think I’m doing alright- line of work I mostly quite like which pays enough to do the things I like, new wife, everyone’s healthy. I’m not that bothered by the trappings of success though.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=BP4LYz90PnU&feature=endscreen[/video]
feel pretty alienated,but I’m healthy,got too many bikes,plenty of time for myself,become a much better person,can build great wheels.
girls smile at me on the street,stopped smoking,can cook.
I’m doing allright,as a person.professionally I’ve squandered it all.

can’t sing tho,can’t even whistle.

When my dad hit 80 ( 7 years ago, he died at the end of October) he did a bit of a speech at the family gathering.

Said something about me being a success. Kind of strange as never considered myself as such, but quite nice to hear that from your old man nonetheless. I have never had any kind of aspirations at all, so given that, things have turned out surprisingly quite well 🙂

I’m pretty happy I think, but got a very long time before I’ll even be thinking about whether I was successful career wise or not.

It’s not just about career though is it? That just provides the cash for the fun stuff. (I appreciate people who enter the professions and have a passion for what they do may feel differently. To me it’s all about earning enough cash to have an enjoyable life).

Making a difference to the state of the world? No. Probably the same for most people.

Loads of money in the bank? No. Just a bit. More than that in debt, though.

Posh car? No.

Happily married? Yes, very.

Happy cat sleeping on the settee? Yes.

Had a great year? Yes.

Lovely family (in-laws included)? Yes.

I had a pretty shonky start to my work life (I wouldn’t call it a career) but with support from from my wife I went from a series of dead end jobs to a moderately successful (almost) career in IT – IT Support then (and now) programming, and I’ve just had a brilliant recommendation on LinkedIn from the Group Operations Director of the company I am contracting with.

Rich? Financially – no, just comfortably. Emotionally – yes!

Good and loyal friends? Yes.

Off to the continent for New Year? Yes.

My lot is better than I ever dreamed it would be, so, if that’s success, yes I am!

Happy Christmas all!

I got two professional qualifications through this morning, so I feel pretty successful today 🙂

One stepping stone closer to something special.

Not sure … hhmmm … need to think about this … ❓

I don’t have any criteria for success and couldn’t give a shit if I measure up to anyone else’s, but I’m happy.
So, don’t know, don’t care. If I and my family have health and time to ride my bike, that’s enough for me.

WTF

Tough one for me…I’ve not lived up to parental expectations that I find hard to get past. I’ve earned £££ in a professionalcareer and hated it…now looking past that into the unknown (and it’s a bit scary).

But I have achievements I am proud of, friendships I value, can have fun on mountains on a bike, and time left to find some contentment professionaly, so it’s mostly good.

Not by my parents’ criteria: I’m not married to a nice girl, living in a nice suburb, with two nice kids, a nice car and a 9-5 job. (That’s probably a bit harsh.) But I’ve seen a lot of the world, been lucky enough to have had more than my share of once-in-a-lifetime experiences, and achieved a few personal goals. I inch closer to remaining ambitions but I don’t have enough single-minded focus. And I consistently go for unsuitable women, like a moth to flame. That should be changed.

My problem is that I did very well at university, setting the bar too high. I’ve succeeded in managing expectations down, but I’m the only one of my peer group not to become very rich or very important.

Corroded

Bumped into a mate i aint seen in ages last night – he works for 6 months then **** off on some adventure some where

Hes treked over deserts and ski toured round bits of the arctic , kayaked all over the world as well

Hes decided its time to settle down now but from the outside looking in – hes a bigger success than anyone else my self included. I know from school despite how ever much money we earn !

I do. Mostly because I failed my A-levels, dropped out of uni and was told I’d never make anything of my life by an ex. Now I’m married, have a son, a huge house with a big garden and several nice bikes.

Mostly though because 10 years ago I decided I wanted to be a paramedic, it took a lot of hard work and a lot of set backs but I achieved what I set out to do.

(The ex now works in a supermarket in durham and lives with her mum despite being 32.)

I cannot believe anyone would actually want to consider this during the first 9/10`s of their life on this earth.

Surely the measure of anyones actual worth on this earth is what the people around them actually genuinely thought of them, to consider it yourself means you are obviously far too self obsessed to be of any interest to anyone but yourself.

Merry Christmas and all the best for 2012

Oooh, middle class angst ….

I cannot believe anyone would actually want to consider this during the first 9/10`s of their life on this earth.

Surely the measure of anyones actual worth on this earth is what the people around them actually genuinely thought of them, to consider it yourself means you are obviously far too self obsessed to be of any interest to anyone but yourself.

Merry Christmas and all the best for 2012
So, you screwed up bad style, personally I wouldn’t worry about the fact that you can’t bring yourself round to talking about it just yet. Give it time.

Oooh, middle class angst ….

Working class reality mate !

So, you screwed up bad style, personally I wouldn’t worry about the fact that you can’t bring yourself round to talking about it just yet. Give it time.

If I had a quid for everytime I had screwed up I would probably be what some would describe as a success, the point I was trying to make is`nt that hard to grasp.

the point I was trying to make is`nt that hard to grasp.

I think you’ll find the correct contraction is “isn’t” as it’s the missing letter that is replaced by the apostrophe. We are going from “is not” to “is n’t” to isn’t”.
HTH

It’s ‘is not’.

No it is. 😐

It’s ain’t is not it? 🙂

Don’t be so silly.

.

Not sure I would/could consider myself a success. I don’ t have a big house or a big new car. My job and wage are nothing to brag about.
But my family and I have good health. I have a great wife who after 20years together still for some reason loves me. My two children are doing well at Uni doing law and medicine. I am a far way off from being rich, but can afford to do whatever I want to do.
And, with all honesty, can say I am not jealous of a single person I know.
Life at the moment is good. And long may it last.

Not yet. One day if I am lucky and hopefully it is the day I die.

Sue_W – Member

Career-wise – yes. Got as senior as I wish to be in order to still be a specialist and therefore find my work interesting and stimulating (more important to me than continuing to climb the ladder of management …)

Friend-wise – yes. I’m lucky enough to know lots of lovely, wonderful people.

Relationship-wise – erm, no, bit of a disaster zone.

As a person – up to others to decide! I continue to try to see the best in people, to care about others, made the most of all the positives in life, and to be there for anyone who needs support.
Sue you have it almost spot on though I’m going to annoy you (sorry)

Me
Career-wise – yes. Got as senior as I wish to be in order to still be a specialist and therefore find my work interesting and stimulating (more important to me than continuing to climb the ladder of management …)

Friend-wise – yes. I’m lucky enough to know lots of lovely, wonderful people.

Relationship-wise – yes have been with the same wonderful woman for nearly 30 years.

As a person – up to others to decide! I continue to try to see the best in people, to care about others, made the most of all the positives in life, and to be there for anyone who needs support.

That’s not to say things are perfect. But I try to make the most of what I have

As muddydwarf above. But maybe a foot taller. Which probably means he doesn’t have the bad back I have…being tall sucks.

Mmm now there is something to to about

And, with all honesty, can say I am not jealous of a single person I know.

Hah your jealous of my riding skills Ant, you just wont admit it 😉

But to the op, I hope your dad can see that your happy with your life whatever you do, thats why he thinks your a succsess. As a parent thats all you realy hope for. If you are, then you most deffinetly are a success.