It seems unlikely that the stupid bastards could navigate their way out of a paper bag, but I want rid of the fat gits, their massive shits and greedy disposition.

So, given that it would be easy enough to tempt them into a box and drive then to work, (I don’t really want to snap their necks, they are a pain in the arse rather than proper vermin) would I then find them back at home before I was that day? (30 miles as the crow pigeon flies)

I got a A in A-Level Psychology 18 years ago. I seem to remember revising something about magnets and pigeons. So yes. Hope that helps!

Pigeons and psychology? Are you sure? Sounds bloody unlikely. But anyway, are you suggesting if I glue an old speaker to them before releasing into the wild, they are less likely to return? 😀

just googled it. the magnets theory is out. Sure, glue an old speaker on them just to be sure, but its all about smell maps now apparently.

https://www.google.se/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/science/2006/aug/06/theobserver.theobserversuknewspages

So basically you have to move house. Ideally to Richer Sounds.

Ah, In which case I reckon I’ll rub them on my teenage daughters carpet after I’ve caught them. They’ll never come back then!

edit – I read the Manchester Guardian’s article, actually quite interesting. The idea of putting little eye patches on Robins 😆 The left-eye’d ones should have tried flying backwards.

We had a problem with a scruffy looking one, think Valiant, who the neighbours were feeding cat food to. It kept roosting on the Sky dish and interfering with the signal. Managed to catch it in a box and drove it 20 miles away. By the time we got home it was waiting for us.
Caught it again and took it to the coast, 70 miles away, figured it would be happy with all the other pigeons and gulls. Must have worked as we never saw it again

“The left-eye-patched robins navigated well, but those with right-eye patches got hopelessly lost. ‘It is a very strange finding,’ said Graham Appleton, of the British Trust for Ornithology . ‘It is clear the cues robins use to navigate are only detectable in one eye. Why that should be the case, I have no idea”

more funding over here please!

it’ll smell good too

Most birds have a homing instinct, many make pigeons look positively retarded when it comes to navigation. There are many British birds that navigate backwards and forwards to Africa, some many thousands of miles, then there are Albatrosses, that spend most of their lives on the wing, across tens of thousands of miles of the southern oceans, returning once a year to the same nest, on the same island, and the same mate!
I can lose my car keys in one room!

Wood Pigeons mate for life.

I’m never going to eat another one.

Dangeourbrain, you’re a bloody monster! I’m not making a James Martin recipe, he once recommended using electric cars to run over cyclists! 😈

bodgy – Member
Wood Pigeons mate for life.

I’m never going to eat another one.

Send the solution is to eat them in pairs.

I’m not making a James Martin recipe

Fair point but he was top Google result followed by Jamie Oliver and, well who reads further than the top two?

eat them in pairs.

😀