Molgrips school days…..before he got the costume.

I think the standing up for yourself thing is situation dependent – depends how and why the bullying is happening.

Agreed. We do all need to be able to stick up for ourselves – I was the skinny short kid at school but quickly learned (through fighting and through sport) that if I showed my size didn’t mean I was a pushover that I would be left alone. But I never went out looking for fights or thought that it was the answer to anything.

We are fairly liberal when it comes to letting our kids stay home when necessary, but obviously there are lines

I am of the opinion that we can pretty much say what we want to children about what is right or wrong, but in the end they follow our example. Reading a lot into the above statement, it does come across that perhaps you don’t value school that greatly and that maybe your child does not see the ‘lines’.

What if they aren’t physically hitting you? You hit them back anyway?

No. You need another strategy.
The hitting back thing isn’t about violence being the answer. It’s about the kid not being a target for bullying. Nothing more.

Kid: But Daddy, I don’t want to fight. Fighting is bad.
Dad: No, violence is the answer. The solution to violence is more violence.

Look to the US for an answer. If everybody has lots of guns, there will be no violence. Apparently.

I am of the opinion that we can pretty much say what we want to children about what is right or wrong, but in the end they follow our example

Generally true of adults too. “Do what I say, not what I do” doesn’t work too well for management.

Generally true of adults too. “Do what I say, not what I do” doesn’t work too well for management.

Indeed.

I was never bullied at school.
Always had lots of friends.
High achiever academically, and found it easy.
Teachers never targeted me as I was pretty good really, and there were far easier, and more deserving targets.

But….I still disliked school mostly, and would have preferred occasional days on my own in my room pretending to be ill if I could ever get away with it. Didn’t really ever happen though, as it was ingrained that I had to attend.

So OP, there might not be anything wrong, he might just hate (or slightly dislike) school. I’d say that was fairly normal, as back when I was there, it was pretty crappy. It might just be that he needs to learn he has to go regardless.

I think the standing up for yourself thing is situation dependent – depends how and why the bullying is happening.

That’s exactly what I was going to type.

Reading a lot into the above statement, it does come across that perhaps you don’t value school that greatly and that maybe your child does not see the ‘lines’.

Although I won’t go into personal details I am pretty sure that’s not the case with the OP!

I do know what you mean but just to add to the recent experiences in our house (and we do have a daughter that is finding school quite tough currently and has played the ‘sick’ card a few times recently)

Daughter: I have a tummy ache
Parent; Have you been sick, do you feel sick
D; No
P; I’m sure it’ll pass then get your coat
D; OK

Some time later

School; Can you get your daughter, she really doesn’t feel well

D; it’s really quite painful now
P; OK, to the doctors then
Doctor; err – casualty, straight away please
A&E Doc; that’s an appendix
Surgeon; that’s coming out shortly
Parents; sorry we didn’t believe you but just shows you can’t cry wolf.

Drac +1

Go to school and discuss. Could be a simple issue, could be bullying

First priority would be to check that IMO

Good luck

He is a largely honest kid who tends to like to live on his own. He is deeply introverted but quite confident at the same time. He has no debilitating underlying issues: although he is a sensitive kid who can get anxious about things, he doesn’t really let such things get in the way of doing stuff. Finally, there is no evidence of external factors – such as bullying, or other school difficulties – at play.

You could be describing my middle child here. A lovely and well liked boy, who gets on well with other kids when he’s interested in what they’re doing, but when they aren’t he chooses to do his own thing that interests him rather than something that’s doesn’t just to be sociable. And he is very much a home boy. End of the holidays and Sunday evenings he gets very sad and teary and doesn’t want to go to school. He can’t give a reason, he just doesn’t want to go. We are 99% sure that it’s just that he wants to be with his family all the time, and doesn’t want to be anywhere else. We let him have a cry, but still make him go to school, and as soon as he’s there he’s absolutely fine. I think it’s just that his favourite place to be is at home with his mum and dad.

Not had appendicitis here, but as alluded above they’ve been sent home by school having not been sure about how serious/genuine the illness was in the morning. As I mentioned my kids like school, but I suspect they’d still rather stay home and Xbox.

My youngest occasionally pretends to be ill but i generally keep him off as there’s been a few times when i thought he was bluffing that i had to go and collect him early as he wasn’t spoofing. Trick is to make them do more school work at home than they’ll ever do at school. Sums, writing stories, drawing pictures etc. Make it so a day off from school ‘sick’ is a nightmare. And no Xbox etc until after hometime 😀

So here I am today at home with a sick child with that old chestnut ‘poorly tummy’.

And an ill dog.

And an ill dog.

What’s his excuse?

My lass is home today as well. She does look like death warmed up though, so unless she’s got really good at spoofing it, I’m going to give her a pass.

My wife’s home ill too. But she is properly ill. She still wanted to go to work though, I had to make her call in sick!

I did this. When I was at secondary school, I would quite often have time off because I had a “migraine”. My mother gets migraines, so I think that was a good excuse, you don’t need to exhibit any difficult symptoms.

Why did I do it? I’m not absolutely certain. Perhaps some of it in earlier years started because of bullying. Perhaps I was also bored in school, the only helpful advice I can give is that I grew out of it, and it didn’t impact my grades or prospects.

Why can’t he just do what everyone else used to do, and set off for school as usual, then bunk off and go shoplifting in the Arndale?

What’s his excuse?

Vet doesn’t know 🙁

molgrips – Member
My wife’s home ill too. But she is properly ill. She still wanted to go to work though, I had to make her call in sick

It’s okay, mol: I’m home too.

Possibly her fault 🙂

Teachers point of view. Ask the school if there is anything to cause this and unless he is puking or has a high temperature send the little skiver in.

Some days you just really feel like not going to work / school.. could just be one of those days where he just can’t arsed to go to school.