tjagain – Member
Why does it come in a biscuit shaped packet then eh preachypanther?

What bloody biscuits are you eating that are that shape?

Also if it’s a biscuit why a box? Only cakes and fancy overpriced “cookies” come in boxes. Biscuits come in cellophane or tins.

Long thin box – biscuit. round or square box – cake!

Long thin box – snooker cue. round or square box – trampoline!

I like this game.

It’s a cake because McVities say it is, the courts say it is, the Inland revenue say it is and the bloody box it comes in says it is.

The clue is in the name. They are not called Jaffa Biscuits.

The Tim Tam is the finest tea absorbing biscuit known to mankind. #timtamslam

Gingernuts are acceptable only if appropriate biscuit apartheid is observed otherwise they contaminate the others and suffer premature soggyness.

Look here preachy. If I say its a biscuit its a biscuit. OK.

You say potato I say ITS A RUDDY BISCUIT!

Look here preachy. If I say its a biscuit its a biscuit. OK.

You say potato I say ITS A RUDDY BISCUIT!

Aha! I can see I’ve met my match.

You have bested me with your childish name calling and shouty denial of actual evidence.

The debate ,Sir, is yours.

I recommend that you enjoy your victory with some Jaffa biscuits dunked in coffee.

They might make up for the loss of dignity

🙂

Dipping a jammie dodger in my brew
Reported.

Indeed, expect to have your front door to be kicked in any minute and to be taken away for interrogation and re-education.

Look here preachy. If I say its a biscuit its a biscuit. OK.

You say potato I say ITS A RUDDY BISCUIT!
No it bloody well isn’t! If it had a crumbly hard base, it would be a biscuit, but it doesn’t. And most biscuits come in a thin plastic wrapper, not a box.
Anyway, there is, truly, only one biscuit worthy of being dunked, the pinnacle, nay the king of biscuits, the McVitie’s Digestive!

Accept no substitute.

On the basis that even with judicious nibbling it barely fits even a man sized mug, most people are required to to snap a digestive leading to unnecessary crumb loss. So good effort, but ultimately a fail.

Thankfully no one has yet mentioned the rich tea, or rich tea finger, neither of which should be introduced to tea but turned upside down, applied with a small smear of butter and sandwiched together.

Only to be eaten on Sundays

“Yorkshire! Yorkshire!”

Custard Creams- Biscuit royalty.

The caramel layer helps the biscuit maintain it’s structure even after a solid dunking. Not the tastiest, but one of the most structurally sound dunkers available.

Personally I prefer a cheap variety pack of creams. Custard, orange, coconut and the other one. Cheap biscuits FTW

TJ you are more wrong than someone who calls a stew with a puff pastry lid a pie.

Jaffa cakes are properly delicious.

They stink for dunking and there is no way legally or practically they are a biscuit.

#teamgingernuts

As for long thin box that is clearly a new pair of forks that needs to be sneaked into the garage before anyone sees them.

Don’t you know it’s STW chub club weigh in this week?? Don’t make me want biscuits!!

All you need (to know and also to dunk):

robust, texturally rewarding wet or dry, comes with instructions/serving suggestion actually on the bicuit and is “taste the difference” which shows you that I am significantly posher than yow peasants

Minnows like digestives, Jammie dodgers are shit, custard creams are a staple, like oxygen, not massively pleasurable but essential, Hobnobs are an indulgence yet basic, bourbons are all **** up like, Fox’s butter crunch are the zenith in all but dunkability, Jaffa cakes are only any use at supper time, nice biscuits are good for livening up a plate of malted milks, macaroons are a black swan, rich tea offer nothing but desolation, ginger nuts lead the charge for impact but ultimately lack depth, chocolate chip cookies (of the cylindrical packaging genre) are arid crumb ejection clay pigeons, cookies of the flat pack discus genre are teeth meltingly cloying, waterboarding, asphyxia yet deliver on every level, pink wafers offer a new perspective that quickly shatters to under cremed dust. It’s a wasteland of disappointment and yet I cannot turn my back……

TJ – you ok hun? Need a hug?

Jaffa cakes are cakes, casseroles with a pastry lid aren’t a pie, etc etc etc

Shortbread didn’t offend me as a dipping biscuit but it’s not up the for me. I would put it below the bourbon and custard cream for that purpose. It is however a high class biscuit for all other times

and is “taste the difference” which shows you that I am significantly posher than yow peasants

Good grief, is that post modern irony, have you not heard of Ocado, or Waitrose?

jonnyboi – Member

Dark chocolate chip hob nobs are the fat bike of the biscuit world.

I’m no clearer; is that good or bad?

May I offer the humble Lincoln biscuit? Though you shouldn’t ask me. I don’t like tea 😯 and dip them in black coffee

jonnyboi – Member On the basis that even with judicious nibbling it barely fits even a man sized mug, most people are required to to snap a digestive leading to unnecessary crumb loss. So good effort, but ultimately a fail.

See, that’s the art of it, you dunk as much of the biscuit as will fit into the top of the mug or whatever, allowing that edge to be cleanly bitten off, then you can dunk the rest, which is the other part of the art: dipping it in for just long enough to soak up the hot tea before it snaps off leaving a layer of sodden biscuit lying in the bottom like primordial ooze.
I’ve had a lot of practice over the years, consuming an entire large packet of Digestives at one sitting without losing a single one to a hot watery grave, I should have had a medal for that… 😀

Biscuits dipped in stout is the best. My local wetherspoons keeps a biscuits barrel on the bar

An old work colleague used to have two cups of tea, one for drinking & one for dunking. She can’t drink tea with saturated biscuit crumbs floating in it

Personally I’m addicted to custard creams. 45 mins vigorous cycling = 6 custard creams

Slightly off topic, but does anybody else attempt to eat around the larger cow when partaking of a malted milk? I’ve gotten pretty good at it over the years. 😳

jonnyboi – Member

and is “taste the difference” which shows you that I am significantly posher than yow peasants

[quote]Good grief, is that post modern irony, have you not heard of Ocado, or Waitrose? [/quote][/quote]
All I can do is beat whatever’s put in front of me – I’ve still got my Tesco’s Finest in reserve if the ante really goes up 🙂

See, that’s the art of it, you dunk as much of the biscuit as will fit into the top of the mug or whatever, allowing that edge to be cleanly bitten off, then you can dunk the rest, which is the other part of the art: dipping it in for just long enough to soak up the hot tea before it snaps off leaving a layer of sodden biscuit lying in the bottom like primordial ooze.
I’ve had a lot of practice over the years, consuming an entire large packet of Digestives at one sitting without losing a single one to a hot watery grave, I should have had a medal for that…

Any officionado knows full well that this only works for the first or second biscuit as the tea level reduces through biscuit absorption thus rendering your partial dunking attempts impossible!

Therefore you are either a dry nibbler or a snapper, but most definitely a fraud!

Damn, I feel like Sherlock right now

I used to run a biscuit club at work whereby everyday we would eat, rate and record the biscuit results on a spreadsheet. We got over 150 unique biscuits on there (duplicates were allowed to be brought and consumed but not re-rated). Can’t remember the exact winner but various m&s cookies (if throwing cookies into the mix is acceptable?) took up a number of the top 10 spots. The club unfortunately died when all the girls left following the calculation that we averaged about 3 new packs a day… Apparently they feared for their figures or something.

The Ginger Cream was not the first biscuit to be named after a musician, of course.

That was the ‘Blind’ Lemon Crunch, named after the somewhat infamous early Delta Blues singer.