To close this one out for the benefit of anyone searching for VAG problems in the future it has come back as being confirmed as a leaky EGR valve cooler. A known issue. So updated/modified part fitted under warranty as well as the two recalls on the timing belt and tensioner (glad I found out about that one!) and the rear high level tailgate light. My engine is not affected by the emissions thing so no need to worry about the ECU update.
Glad it wasn’t anything more complex like HG, turbo or injectors. I suspected it wasn’t injectors as the smoke didn’t smell like fuel, burned or unburned, so main worries were HG or something to do with the turbo.
Anyhoo again, thanks to all the contributors – it’s good to have a few suggestions and benefits of others experience before you talk to dealerships, and also good to have a few comedic responses. I’m glad I’m not the only one with an immature sense of humour.