Can I just say in advance – please don’t judge me, i’ve been going through the hardest period of my life over the last 18 months and am barely functioning at the moment. I realise such important matters are slightly mental to discuss on STW – but I do find comfort, and occasionally sound advice here from time to time.

Long story very short, next month a court will decide at which date Decree Nisi will be granted on my divorce, and I understand that decree absolute can be granted within days of a 6 week waiting period from nisi being granted and absolute being applied for.
I’ve been informed by others that on grounds of self-preservation I simply must apply for a clean break order.
At the present moment, financials and childcare are fully sorted, and relationship is amicable.

At what point can/should/must I apply for a clean break order?
Must it happen prior to Nisi/Absolute? Or can it be agreed post absolute?

For various reasons, I havent appointed as solicitor. Yet.

IME get a clean break asap. It removes a lot of the potential for finances to be a cause of contention in the future, that means more constructive ‘what’s best for the kids’ discussion.

Hang in there, act in a way you’ll be proud of in the future and it DOES get better.

At the present moment, financials and childcare are fully sorted, and relationship is amicable.

You lucky bastard.

As a divorced person I would never judge you, it’s a nightmare and I can image what you’ve been going through. From my experience/understanding

Decree Nisi – court grants this to show there are grounds for a divorce
Decree Absolute – means its final and is rarely granted unless all the financials are sorted. Financials sorted can be clean break or they can be on going maintenance.

Congratulations on it being amicable, mine wasn’t and bill between the two of us was £60k approx, total waste of money.

In an amicable divorce / mediation you only need a solicitor to write up the “deal”, this can be pretty cheap as the documents and format are standard.

So I would say, get the decree NISI now and then apply for Absolute straight away on the basis the financials are agreed. You don’t need a clean break order IMO.

Note for Decree NISI you need to meet agreed criteria – adultry / separated for 2 years / unreasonable behaviour etc. The cause of the divorce makes no difference to settlement but is listed on court papers if you care. If you don;t care you can just sign that you’ve been unreasonable for example or slept with someone else (unamed).

EDIT: Hang in there it does get better and your user name is slim jim 78 rather than fat b-stard 55