On holiday a few years ago I met a couple, they had a dog, I had a dog we got talking and exchanged contact details.
She kept in touch with me, by ringing when things were going wrong in their relationship (often) and regaling me for (literally) an hour at a time with what “that bastard’s done/said/not done etc”.
That sort of conversation makes me feel tired, it’s very negative and I have my own (not inconsiderable) issues which I deal with by positive thinking, riding my bikes, and generally just bloody well getting on with it.
About six months ago he left her. I tried to be supportive initially – we all know how much it hurts to get dumped – but she was determined to wallow in it and be negative so I stopped ringing her. There were some legal issues so I did some research and wrote a letter for her to amend and send on. All went quiet, I get on with my life.
Last night she rang. She needs my advice. But she hasn’t done anything with the letter I prepared for her (which made me cross). She says she needs to see me! And here’s my question (sorry, I know this is long) she wants to come and visit me. I am on a 12-day annual leave. I have been looking forward to my holiday. I have a mountain of jobs to get through, I have several issues of my own I need to deal with and I was really REALLY looking forward to 12 days of peace and quiet, riding my bikes, hanging with my dogs and generally not dealing with hassle.
Sooooo, I didn’t mention the 12 days’ leave. And I didn’t ring her back when my phone was charged, instead I looked up some pro bono legal advice centres where she lives and emailed her the details. I just couldn’t face an hour of the usual.
And now I feel so bad, I know she’s upset and lonely, but I just can’t face 2 or 3 days of her crying and slagging her ex off.