Me, in Paris to an old lady with a funny haircut and not nice uniform who had just been very helpful with Metro directions.
‘Merci Monsieur.’ (cue much giggling from the missis and daughter)

The other week, while watching the same daughter fluently using an iPad

me. ‘It’s like watching Russ Conway’
Mrs. ‘Who’s Russ Conway?’
me. ‘He’s a pianist’
Mrs. ‘You’re a penis’.
😀

Staying at a b&b in galway at breakfast the owners asks

full Irish?

Wifes looks a little bewildered and answers back no I’m Scottish?

I whisper in her ear that he is inquiring if she would like a full Irish breakfast.

She felt a little silly.