Not too shabby, eh?

It has some excellent reviews on Skip Advisor

You silly sod.

Bit small for a moat.

At least it’s not obscured by some 2 wheeled ‘steed’ with mis-aligned tyre valves and overlong brake hoses/gear cables.

Also what has Mrs bearnecessities done? (Don’t forget the quicklime).

Stripe definition is poor.

Could be worse, you could have painted your house bright pink.

Lacks pampas

You never know, corbyn might be round to photo that man hole cover! Who can say that about there back garden?

It’s like a tiny Glastonbury

Front wall needs repointing.

Has someone been pooing on it?

Is that a pink house up the road?

There’s some weeding to be done, other than that, good to go

Nothing a knackered sofa or pile of tyres couldn’t improve.

Maybe a heavily stained mattress?

Bottom of the windows don’t line up, I’m out…..

Rustic.

Dereliqtue?

A bit more fescue.

I like what you’ve done with the block paving.. Easy to lay?

A poignant memorial for the centenary of Battle of Flers–Courcelette

No mention of patio, bloody hell you lot are slacking!

I think it’s a powerful statement on the fragility of man and the disposable nature our modern lives. Is it a standalone piece or part of a series?

Needs a algae covered caravan really, fire damage optional.

That’s not a lawn, it’s a parking space.

Needs some new garden ornaments..

Truffle season already?

stunning! All it’s missing is some cat shit in the borders and a burnt patch on the lawn where the dogs piss. And an overflowing wheelie bin, but not on the lawn.

A poignant memorial for the centenary of Battle of Flers–Courcelette

One of the primary schools I work with has a pupil dug WW1 front line trench across the school front lawn…

I’ve watched enough CSI to recognise a body buried at the back there with a few token flowers plonked on top. How is Mrs Bearnecessities, can we see a picture of her please holding a copy of the Sunday gardening supplement?

To finish it off I think you need a rusting Austin Maestro with 3 flat tyred wheels.

On bricks…

What edging tool do you use?

Shit sandwich

Quite realistic for synthetic.

Bearnecessities earlier:

Ur pitch iz Slovakin

do they do astroturf ?

Ooh, they are in Maryland. I think they’ll probably be able to do the OP’s garden with some decorative paving. Might have enough space to park a motorbike on 😆

EDIT hang on.. I shouldn’t report spam and then comment on the spam post should I?

After 2 days of scarifying, TBH mine doesn’t look much better anyway, crossing fingers and toes it comes back, we’ve spent enough on fertiliser and seed!