Having small people around makes me very aware of swearing so I've got a couple of useful words to use for when swearing is required (just hit thumb with hammer, burnt self on oven shelf etc)and there are small ears around to hear.

I find Bummocks is good, as is Pimhole…

Sometines get strange looks if I bale on a ride and still have my "parent" brain running though 😳

Anyone else have any as mine are losing their impact?

How about swearing in french or italian? If the kids pick it up 90% of people won't notice. The other 10% will be impressed.

Similar situation at work where I can often be found saying as-pergers or fuzzy-duck

Couple of classics:

Bassa and gettifa. They are at their most effective in the following sentence. You – gettifa ya bassa. 😉

**** use to work, in the US, probably not now they've all seen Guy Ritchey films

Loblocks?

1.Frak (v.), Battlestar Galactica
2.Frell (v.), Farscape
3.Gorram (adj.), Firefly
4.Shazbot (n.), Mork & Mindy
5.Poodoo (n.), Star Wars
6.Smeg (n.), Red Dwarf

I quite like shazbot myself

Help us out with some more French swear words then, I only know merde.

(Although I can say "I wouldn't touch you with a shitty stick" in French as well).

Putain de Merde!

Putain de Con!

I got told off after my 4 year old god daughter 'helped' while I fixed my bike. Later that day she was playing dolls and put a bandage on the arm of one of the dolls.

Mummy : Is your dolly's arm hurt?
Abi : Yes, it is proper bolloxed
Mummy : NICK, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN TEACHING MY DAUGHTER!!!!

Va te faire enculer

Or chinese (Cantonese)

Fei hai

Blarmince. Used it as a kid, now use it for my 3 yr old

Help us out with some French swear word translations then, I only know merde=sh1t, and I'd hate to say the wrong thing and offend someone!

I am afraid I am not that creative, I just swear and then promptly get a bollocking from my 4yr old daughter.

thegreatape – Member

Help us out with some French swear word translations then, I only know merde=sh1t, and I'd hate to say the wrong thing and offend someone!

Surely there are no French people here that take offence easily? 😉

WorldClassAccident – Member

I got told off after my 4 year old god daughter 'helped' while I fixed my bike. Later that day she was playing dolls and put a bandage on the arm of one of the dolls.

Mummy : Is your dolly's arm hurt?
Abi : Yes, it is proper bolloxed
Mummy : NICK, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN TEACHING MY DAUGHTER!!!!

All too familiar…hence the need for "safe" alternatives 😀

My wifes mother can often be heard saying "Sugar Butties" WTF does that repalce?

Ain't Putain de Merde summit like "your whore poo poo"? It was certianly enuough to get me and a mate a good chasing through the streets of Montpellier many years ago after a big night out 😆

Another is Putain de mere (you can see where thats going)

Fecker and Bar Steward are my two favourite alternatives.

Belgium. Worst swear word in (every other part) of the universe apparently.

Aygamisu malaka is one I use a lot at work, roughly translated to F*** off **** in Greek.

What I love is when kids swear and they do it with exactly the same manner and mannerisms as the offending adult, and everyone in the room immediately who the perpetrator is.

"Bobbins" was todays word of choice