so two mates catch up for a pint after not seeing each other for a couple of years, and one says “how’s things?”
The other fella says “not bad i’m having sex at 42,which is great ‘cos I live at #46 so its not far to walk.”

IGMC

haha

Have you heard about the new game show where the British try to strangle Chris Tarrant? It’s called Britain’s Garrot Tarrant!!

IGMC

No, put your coat down – I liked it. Got anymore ?

PJ’s was worse.

“First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.
Funny sense of humour my plumber has.”

heard one the other day, something about the similarities between a shrimp and a woman …… their heads are of full of sh1t, but the pink bits taste lovely

no idea if it’s old, but it made me smile 8)

The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday

The announcement followed Ferrari’s decision to take advantage of the British government’s work for dole scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters.

The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment whereas Ferrari’s existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment. It was thought to be an excellent bold move by Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving an advantage over every other team.

However Ferrari got more than they bargained for! At the crew’s first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Alonso’s bird in the shower.

LOL rogerthecat ! …….. the first bit I thought “Oh dear, how predicable” But the last bit really made me lol

A very unPC joke completely full of prejudices, and yet also completely exonerated by the fact that it’s actually funny !

imo

Craig David has quit his singing career to join the Olympic archery team.

He’s going to be their Bow Selector.

I know the title says crap joke but I’ll post one of my own any way. 🙂

I say. I say. I say.

What Dickens character likes boobies?

David Coppafeel.

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH…HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH..ha.ha…..ha…..h…… 🙁

ernie – quite ironic from the man with the shrimp joke 😉

How do you annoy lady GaGa?

Poke her in the face…

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff

Boom boom tish!

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in a microwave ’till it’s Bill Withers!

ernie – quite ironic from the man with the shrimp joke

I’m not quite sure what you mean by that. I love being unPC (if that’s what you mean) especially when in very PC company 8)

….. although I generally insist that the joke should be actually funny.

This horse walks into a bar and the barman says Hi why the long face.

The horse says that is racist and offensive if I was black would you say why the black face.

The barman says I am sorry I didnt mean to be offensive lets start again Hi whats your name

the horse replies Sarah Jessica Parker

I have already got my coat

Same bar and a bear walks in. Goes up to the bar and says “i’ll have a pint of best ……………………….and a whiskey chaser.
The Barman says “what’s with the big Pause?

seriously, anyone seen it? its a Convert Boarding jacket.

How do you crucify a spastic?

On a swastika.

Now that’s offensive….

POF – pure quality!

POF very funny hahahahahaha

Went to the Zoo the other day.
They only had one dog.
it was a shit-zoo.

whats the diffrence between a giraffe and a JCB????

A JCB has hydrolics and a giraffe has high bollox’s

Whats the difference between a prostitute with chronic diorrhea and and epiliptic oyster shucker?
One F*cks while it shits and the other Shucks while it fits.