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Crap films

168 posts & 88 voices | Started 3 months ago by monkeysfeet | Latest reply from jon1973

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loum - Member

Captain America is a crap film.

z1ppy - Member
... you must have expected yet another Thor/Iron man/marvel film & it was exactly that. Entertaining in a brain dead way, no more no less,

Sorry z1ppy, but you're wrong here. I did not expect any more than Thor/Iron Man /Marvel but was still left extremely dissapointed. If you have to be brain dead to find it entertaining, then that's a crap film.

I must agree with you about Aliens, and Troll Hunter too.
I got 4 videos out on Monday: Troll Hunter; Captain America; Cowboys and Aliens; and Bandidas. Troll hunter was second best, Captain America fourth best (by a long way)

Posted 3 months ago #
mikey74 - Member

A critic is just a person, their opinion is no more or less valid than anyone elses.

I disagree: I would HOPE that a film critic is someone who is well versed in the mechanics of film making, therefore in a better position to actually say whether a film is crap or not.

IMO any professional "reveiwer" should be able to disassociate their own personal feelings, for the most part, from the technical aspects of the artform on review. In the real world, we all know that that is not going to happen 100%, but it should be the aim.

Posted 3 months ago #
Rusty Spanner - Member

mickey, technical aspects of film making are irrelevant to viewer.
You don't need to know how the trick works.
Fashions in cinematography change as technology evolves.
Movie technology can badly date, just as music tech can - syn drum anyone?

To use the music analogy again, a piece may be wonderfully well produced, but vacuous
and emotionally bankrupt.

The emotional response of the audience is the only thing that matters.
How that response is acheived may be interesting, but a working knowledge of technique isn't required to enjoy a film.

Posted 3 months ago #
Thurman Merman - Member

I'll see everything mentioned in previous posts

and raise you

"Inseminoid".

which was 287 times worse than the book it was based on.

Posted 3 months ago #
Thurman Merman - Member

I didn't care for The Godfather. Insists upon itself.
Well done top Family Guy quote!

+1

Posted 3 months ago #
molgrips - Member

Can't believe nobody's mentioned Independence Day - what a complete crock of sh*te that was

I agree, it was completely rubbish. However, I really enjoyed it.

See, film (and other art) is a complex thing. Aspects can be good or bad or both depending on you or your mood. Much about Independence Day was risible but the stuff I enjoyed was enough for me not to care, and it didn't spoil it.

I imagine it being like surfing. If the film can offer you enough it'll pick you up and carry you all the way like a wave. If it doesn't have enough for you it'll leave you behind completely. Once you catch the wave all the rubbish can be forgiven. Star Wars, anyone?

Then there are films that carry you along and then when you go back over and really analyse them you just discover more and more brilliance.

These are the truly great films.

Posted 3 months ago #
molgrips - Member

To use the music analogy again

Yeah. Beethoven's 5th is brilliant, but people still went round happily singing that one that was in Kill Bill with those Japanese girls going la la, lalala all the time, didn't they?

Sure catchy pop is forgotten quickly but you will still raise a smile years later.

Posted 3 months ago #
Thurman Merman - Member

Hang on, has noone mentioned "Angels and Demons"?

Tom Hanks and his sidekick running from room to room discussing the plot?

At least "The Da Vinci Code" had a half-decent car chase and Audrey Tatou.

Dreadful. Dreadful, dreadful, dreadful.

Actually, you know what, no, "The Da Vinci Code" was just as dreadful.

Posted 3 months ago #
molgrips - Member

Dammit I've got that stupid song stuck in my head now thanks to my own bloody post

Posted 3 months ago #
mikey74 - Member

mickey, technical aspects of film making are irrelevant to viewer.
You don't need to know how the trick works.
Fashions in cinematography change as technology evolves.
Movie technology can badly date, just as music tech can - syn drum anyone?

To use the music analogy again, a piece may be wonderfully well produced, but vacuous
and emotionally bankrupt.

The emotional response of the audience is the only thing that matters.

That's not what I'm saying: The technical aspects of how a film is put together defines how well it conveys the intentions of the film-maker. The fact that your average viewer’s response to a film, or any other piece of art for that matter, is purely subjective, based on their own emotional response to the film, renders their opinion on the piece irrelevant to anyone other than themselves. Therefore, to call a film “crap”, based on an emotional response, is completely erroneous.

The job of a professional reviewer is to dig behind the emotional response, analyse how well the ideas and images are conveyed in the film, and provide a conclusion that is less emotional and therefore able to give a better idea of how successful the film is to a wider range of people.

but a working knowledge of technique isn't required to enjoy a film.

I didn't say it was.

Posted 3 months ago #
jon1973 - Member

Actually, you know what, no, "The Da Vinci Code" was just as dreadful.

Crap film based on a crap book.

Posted 3 months ago #
derekrides - Member

Ben Harp: Special agent Utah! This is not some job, flipping burgers at the local drive-in! Yes! - your surf board bothers me! Yes! - your approach to this whole damn case bothers me! And yes! - YOU BOTHER ME! And Pappas! Oh, for the love of Christ. How the hell did I even let you talk me into this whole bone-headed idea to begin with.
Pappas: Harp! We are working under-cover. It takes time. We've produced a few...
Ben Harp: NO! No no no no no no NO! Let me tell you what you've produced... Over the last two weeks, you two have produced exactly squat! SQUAT! During which time the ex-presidents have robbed two more banks. Now for Christ's sake, does either one of you have anything even remotely interesting to tell me?
[brief pause]
Johnny Utah: I cut my first tube today... Sir.

Posted 3 months ago #
richmtb - Member

rich, there are no rules that 'need' to be followed.
Every cliche in film was once an innovation.

Rusty we will need to agree to disagree then. I get where you are coming from but there are rules (okay lets come theme guidelines then) and conventions that should be followed. Things like narrative structure and films following their own internal logic too.

Here's an example in Aliens: Ripley and the Colonial Marines get their arses kicked by the aliens. Its sci-fi so obviously it doesn't need to be too realistic but it behaves correctly according to its internal rules. If half way through it turned out Ripley was an angel sent by god with superpowers to destroy the godless aliens that would be breaking it internal rules.

Posted 3 months ago #
Rusty Spanner - Member

Mikey, I think the intentions of the film maker (which one btw? Writer, director, producer, financer?) are completely irrelevant.

I don't want to go all TJ on this, but imo the only response that matters is that of the 'average' audience, who's opinion you appear to believe is irrelevant.

Anyway, we're never going to agree, so shall we just leave it there so everyone else can enjoy the thread?

Edit: Hmm, rich, I can see your point, but still disagree.
Sometimes it's fun to push the boundries of internal logic and narrative structure - Shakesperian asides to the camera,
stepping out of the frame etc.
Again, shall we agree to differ?

Posted 3 months ago #
AlexSimon - Member

Here's an example in Aliens: Ripley and the Colonial Marines get their arses kicked by the aliens. Its sci-fi so obviously it doesn't need to be too realistic but it behaves correctly according to its internal rules. If half way through it turned out Ripley was an angel sent by god with superpowers to destroy the godless aliens that would be breaking it internal rules.

That reminds me of Highlander 2!

Posted 3 months ago #
Paulio - Member

Battlefield Earth, Chain Reaction, Johnny Mnemonic (a Keanu double, nice one) and Troy are just terrible films, not even so bad they're enjoyable.

Aliens - not a bad film really, but it ignores all that was good about Alien and ends up as a superficial shoot 'em up. It's still better than the fourth one.

Posted 3 months ago #
Nick - Member

The fact that your average viewer’s response to a film, or any other piece of art for that matter, is purely subjective, based on their own emotional response to the film, renders their opinion on the piece irrelevant to anyone other than themselves. Therefore, to call a film “crap”, based on an emotional response, is completely erroneous.

No, it's not erroneous, it's irrelevant.

Posted 3 months ago #
SaxonRider - Member

Even typing 'Tommy Lee Jones' and 'Blown Away' makes me angry.

Posted 3 months ago #
sprootlet - Member

Mutant chronicles with R Pearlman and J Malkovich (sorry about the spelling). It was 90 wasted minutes .....

Posted 3 months ago #
Thurman Merman - Member

Even typing 'Tommy Lee Jones' ... makes me angry.

LOL! I know exactly what you mean. Consider typing:

Adam Sandler
Ben Stiller
Sandra Bullock
Nicole Kidman
Tom Cruise
SJP
Geena Davis
Nicholas Cage
Steven Segal
Keanu Reeves
Owen Wilson
Any of the Baldwin clones
Julia Roberts
Michelle Pfeiffer
Andie McDowell
Jennifer Aniston
Ikea Knightley
Scarlett Johannsson
J-Lo...

and feel *my* rage.

Some of the luckiest people in showbiz, right there.

Alarming number of women, it has to be said.

Posted 3 months ago #
garage-dweller - Member

League of extraordinary gentlemen wtf were they thinking
Curious case of benjamin button - drab, tedious and utterly predictable from the 1st scene.

Posted 3 months ago #
joat - Member

Not seen it mentioned yet, but why oh why were my friends laughing at Without A Paddle?

Posted 3 months ago #
clubby - Member

Kill List.
Supposed to be cult film of future, but it was the first ever film I've been to where it got to the end and everyone just sat there in silence trying to figure it out. And I do mean absolute silence, not even an "well that was shit" from anyone.

Posted 3 months ago #
Turnoisier - Member

I watch a lot of films, and I've seen a lot of irredeemable rubbish. Unquestionably, the worst I've ever seen was 'Crimson Rivers' starring Jean Reno. It was an adaptation of a very successful French novel 'Les Rivieres Poupres,' but from the excruciating 'special features,' it was clear that nobody, including the cast, the director and the producer, had the faintest idea what it was about.It made David Lynch's Mulholland Drive look like a paragon of clear and simple storytelling.

Posted 3 months ago #
GlitterGary - Member

Aliens is crap? You lot must be from another planet. I bet you ride road bikes too.

Posted 3 months ago #
drain - Member

"Blue Velvet". Pretentious sh*te. IMO, of course

And that's >despite< me being a huge fan of Dennis Hopper!

Posted 3 months ago #
Spin - Member

War Horse was utter mince but I'm sure someone has beaten me to that.

In fact, I've just watched Starship Troopers and I reckon it's better than Warhorseshit on any level.

Posted 3 months ago #
jon1973 - Member

Howard The Duck. Crap.

Soooo obvious that wasn't a real duck.

Posted 3 months ago #