Viewing 38 posts - 1 through 38 (of 38 total)
  • Could enough chickens peck you to death?
  • johndoh
    Free Member

    At a petting farm yesterday, I got to thinking, so?

    Jamie
    Free Member

    It’s like that other thought experiment. How many 5 years olds do you reckon you could defend yourself from, before being overwhelmed?

    Junkyard
    Free Member

    I could take on more chickens than 5 year olds

    HTH

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    Smear yourself in honey and corn, and head off to experiment?
    I can check the tabloid headlines for next week or so.

    p8ddy
    Free Member

    I reckon that one determined chicken could manage, if you were suitably restrained.

    Lucky for us that chickens are crap at tying knots with their wings (or locking handcuffs, or using syringes) – so we’re safe for the time being.

    The syringe thing also answers the question of why there are so few heroin addict chickens.

    meehaja
    Free Member

    when I was a teenager my mums chickens used to go for my face. Nasty silkies.

    My chickens are well behaved, do what they’re told and don’t even peck my toes anymore!

    project
    Free Member

    chickens raised in chicken sheds are usually de beaked, to stop them pecking each other to death, thus loosing money for the farmer.

    the waste beaks are used in……….

    martymac
    Full Member

    ‘peck the eyes right oot o yer **** heid’
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQU8pNb2mKo
    definately NSFW!!

    bruneep
    Full Member

    At a petting farm yesterday

    Did you not read the sign?

    yunki
    Free Member

    martymac
    Full Member

    pmsl@ yunki, yep, that looks like it might just manage it!

    qwerty
    Free Member

    Yes, I actually think one could. Just don’t expect it to cross the road to do so.

    MrsToast
    Free Member

    I think Yunki’s chicken could stare you to death.

    john_drummer
    Free Member

    sparkyrhino
    Full Member

    All chickens are evil, hate the little fu**ers

    beefheart
    Free Member

    There are some ‘orrible chickens out there, probably possible if you stayed still for long enough.

    emsz
    Free Member

    thats a biiiiiggggg chicken LOL

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    chickens can’t harm you

    unless a swan has already broken your arms

    yunki
    Free Member

    thats a biiiiiggggg chicken LOL

    corroded
    Free Member

    That big chicken is a Brahma, gentle as anything. But we have had some knee-high roosters that would go for you. Especially if you were dressed as another cockerel.

    racefaceec90
    Full Member

    my friend’s mum has chickens.the bantams are hilarious (the male walks like john wayne 😆

    cheez0
    Free Member

    what stuffing for 12ft chicken?
    sage ‘n’ onion?
    parsley ‘n’ thyme
    or l33t stw homebrew organic breadcrumbs ‘n’ tofu?

    RustySpanner
    Full Member

    alexathome
    Free Member

    Yunki’s chicken looks a bit scary. We just got 5 chickens yesterday, they are pretty cheeky, but not vicious (yet). A guy in south wales was blinded by an injured seagull, a horrible story.

    In a similar vein to the chicken question I was surrounded by sheep once, they came at me from all angles and surrounded me as I was trying to take a shortcut home on a ride. I was pretty scared and tried to threaten them with my bike, waving it around madly, it just made the look in their eyes even more malevolent. I was thinking how many of the wooly w@nkers I could fend off before being overwhelmed, I reckon 2 maybe 3 tops. Chickens, well….. if you had eye protection, or a full crash helmet I reckon you could take out maybe 100/200 before you got tired and they got to your veins and major arteries. Free range chickens would be stronger, due to the exercise, they’d beat you down faster than a caged hen.

    I might go and pick a fight with ours, see if they back down, or if they reckon that they can take me out, there must be algorithm that I could apply to make my research valid even thou I only have 5 chickens, a bike helmet and a stopwatch.

    yunki
    Free Member

    That big chicken is a Brahma, gentle as anything

    clearly not, as the photo shows… that chicken is wreaking pandemonium on a busy urban street.. if it was ‘as gentle as anything’ as you claim, it would be nursing the fleeing Mo Farah in it’s ample bosom and politely requesting an autograph..
    although perhaps on second look it does have an expression of remorse on it’s face..

    I stand corrected

    corroded
    Free Member

    clearly not, as the photo shows… that chicken is wreaking pandemonium on a busy urban street..

    Clearly, yunki, I was referring to your first photo 😉
    As any fool would see, the chicken in your second photo is a Buff Orpington: large and none too bright. Mo Farah appears to have got between it and a good feed.

    globalti
    Free Member

    Fact: chickens (all birds actually) are the nearest living descendants from dinosaurs.

    CaptJon
    Free Member

    Who is Will Patrons?

    maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    Jamie
    Free Member

    Who is Will Patrons?

    Not sure, but I know Kindly Refrain is an American golfer.

    tomaso
    Free Member

    Chickens a greedy little gits and if you were there prone they’d have you in a snap – peck peck peck. But if you are up and able to defend yourself then no.

    johndoh
    Free Member

    But if you are up and able to defend yourself then no.

    Is what my wife said, but what if they kept coming? You would start to tire, they would start to get the upper hand, you’d be dead meat.

    Papa_Lazarou
    Free Member

    On the assumption you couldn’t run or use a weapon, I reckon 10 angry regular chickens could do someone over.

    The ice cream parlour/farm near us has these huge things. I reckon one of those could mug me for a mint choc chip without too much trouble. I’d worry for the effect on my young son though, seeing his Dad get a public kicking from a hen. It would be an unwinable battle from a human point of view, cos if you punched the hens lights out that wouldn’t go down well and actually be quite hard as they seem to be just a big ball off feathers and your fist would go through them while it pecked at your eyes.

    Best to back down me thinks.

    downthemiddle
    Free Member

    This is why I love this forum,
    You ask a sensible equipment question regarding a mountain bike on a mountain bike forum, and you either get one response or several sarcastic responses.
    Ask whether a load of chickens could peck you to death and you get 35 (and counting) responses. 🙂 Gawd bless ya Singletrack ha ha
    I may register on henkeepers website forum and ask about compression damping on a Rockshox revelation and see what happens 🙂

    Coyote
    Free Member

    I love this sort of thread, proper food for thought.

    Don’t get the Damned reference though. Please enlighten.

Viewing 38 posts - 1 through 38 (of 38 total)

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