A thread for people who sum themselves up in a sentence:

I”ll start off with two.

The bride to be to another friend: “Great News! Samantha can’t come so you will be able to come to our wedding after all.”

& a colleague, bemoaning that a family of ‘chavs’ had ordered fizzy drink and crisps for breakfast at the cafe in the airport: “I would never let my children eat such unhealthy stuff. I’d say “Tarquin, have a croissant instead darling.”

“If I hadn’t been wearing my helmet I’d be dead now”

“Why do you need so many bikes?”

EDIT – and my current favourite..

When soemone justifies their postion by saying:
“I’ve only been doing this job for 15years”

An old boss of mine when we were both working late one night. Its a horrible dark and rainy out and we’re quietly getting on with stuff in silence.

He lets out a long exasperated sigh

“why do old people have to die?” he says,head in his hands. Then after a pause where I thought he was about to get philosophical “because death just means funerals and funerals mean muggins here has to organise for someone to cover for the janitor and open the building tomorrow”

Rangers FC as we know them are dead. It’s all over.

Of course they are. They’re cheats and liars. Everybody knows that. They can’t help themselves, it’s in their DNA.

And of course they must be stripped of their titles, trophies and dignity. Oh, and don’t forget those five stars above their badge, Get them torn off as well.

Jim Traynor 2012. Jim Traynor is currently Head of Communications for Rangers FC.