Come on,own up-whos ever made a tit of themselves when biking?

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Come on,own up-whos ever made a tit of themselves when biking?

78 posts & 71 voices | Started 2 years ago by bjj.andy.w | Latest reply from D0NK

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scott_mcavennie2 - Member

Just remembered another. Riding into Peaslake from the end of BKB. There's a bus stop in the middle of the village outside the shop which is alwaus full of mountainbikers. I rode up at speed and bunnyhopped onto the pavement as I normally do. Mid bunnyhop I noticed a stunning E Type Jaguar outside the pub and thought "Ooohh, that's lovely" and absent mindedly jammed on the front brake.

Result - the front wheel landed and the bike stopped immediately, depositing me over the bars and face first into the pavement.

I got up, determined to not show much pain and heard a female mountain biker declare "8 out of 10 for that dismount mate" and all her friends crack up laughing.

Posted 2 years ago #
Harry_the_Spider - Member

Harry's first rule of falling off:

The crapness of the fall is directly proportional to the quantity and quality of the teenage girls who see you do it.

Posted 2 years ago #
myfatherwasawolf - Member

Bombing along the Middlewood Way (a disused railway line), trying to get to the start of the Macclesfield Supacross cyclocross race on time, I rode flat out into one of those double railway sleeper stile things. Just didn't see it at all. I must have flown about ten metres, past the obligatory ramblers having a coffee stop. Didn't hurt but I was in shock for a while!

Posted 2 years ago #
coatesy - Member

The Real Ale Wobble a few years back, granny climb out of a farmyard, right over a stile, trundle down the trail to a drop into a stream crossing that everybody's wading through.Thinks, wheely off the drop and ride through, if I balls up i'll put my foot down and get wet feet like everybody else.Just before I get to the drop a young lad nudges his mate and says "wow, he's going to ride it."(this was a long time before amazing trials vid's etc), as I push the pedals I realise i'm still in granny, front wheel comes up, and goes down twice as quickly and i'm over the bars and up to my elbows in icy water, two unimpressed lads carry on whilst I wring out my gloves in an embarrased fashion.

Posted 2 years ago #
TandemJeremy - Member

We did the comedy spd fall on the tandem - and then couldn't unclip as we were all tangled in it. Cue rolling about like a beetle on its back.

Posted 2 years ago #
firestarter - Member

going down a very slippy footpath. Almost marble and wet infact in belgium to nip to the shop and spotted these pretty young ladies i thought id impress them with an endo stop. So went too fast decided to scrub off some speed with rear brake only to lock it and slide then still tried to save it with front but went straight over bars into girls. Good job my french was poor or id have been offended lol

Posted 2 years ago #
jonb - Member

My last two crashes have been on wide flat gravel paths.

The first going round the lake at Kielder, clipped my mates handlebars with my brake lever and went down. The last was racing a friend round a running track who braked suddenly at the enf and I lost control, over the bars and down.

The problem with crashing on wide gravel paths s that you are normally going pretty fast so I have some rather fetchin untanned bits on both my arms and legs.

Posted 2 years ago #
yossarian - Member

I fell off yesterday on my commute

Going round a roundabout and signalling with my left hand, push hard on the pedals to get a bit more speed and my left foot disengages from the pedal, pitches me over the front and I end up shooting across the road into some railings and going spectacularly over the bars in front of a small group of people waiting at a crossing. Must have been travelling; my bar-ends were both pointing directly down to the ground and my handlebars now have an extra bit of sweep on one side.

Posted 2 years ago #
hora - Member

Curry Mile, night ride. Hopped off a kerb and everyone heard the smack as I lay face down on tarmac. Groan, the shame hurt more than the pain!!

Posted 2 years ago #
MisterT - Member

ok, not me, but my mate.. we call him Brownstain - is renound for making a tit of himself on a bike.. the most recent was in the lakes, in the carpark of a newly opened trail. it's pissing with rain, we are readying for the ride, he's riding around the carpark testing his bike, rides up over a grassy bank but front wheel doesn't... next thing he's launching himself over the bars as the rear wheel is in the air and the front wheel twists left, bars up in the air and BINGO he lands his arse right on the end of the bars (his full weight) right up into his back passage.

our eyes wide open, mouths gawping, as we witness the tearing of his old lycra shorts and next we have plums and all on full show!

still can't get that image out of my mind

Posted 2 years ago #
Kramer - Member

Too many times to mention.

Posted 2 years ago #
buzz-lightyear - Member

Had to get my girlfriend to wipe my arse.

That's quite humiliating!

Two weeks' ago on Exmoor after fitting, but not adjusting, new SPD pedals... I stalled on a climb, and unable to disengage tipped, I tumbled into a 6ft ditch full of mud - upside down with bike attached!

Oh did they laugh.

Posted 2 years ago #
jimmy - Member

Funniest thread for a while. My highlights;

It pretty much cured me of showing off in front of girls ever again.

fullbody dab

Posted 2 years ago #
theflatboy - Member

was riding along the inside lane next to a huge long queue of traffic. pulled an epic coaster wheelie, probably 10 seconds odd and was holding it perfectly. the kerb went into a little layby just as the front wheel started dropping and i couldn't bring it back up. front wheel went down just in time to hit the kerb, i went over the bars and landed on the grass, badly spraining my ankle, and had to skulk off round the corner to lament my pain.

Posted 2 years ago #
Mr Agreeable - Member

Kicking my friend repeatedly after getting cramp at a race. She was sat at my feet, and suddenly my leg started spasming uncontrollably.

Also riding into work a couple of years back on a very wet day, along the Bristol & Bath Path. Near the Bristol end it goes through a park and there was a huge puddle covering the entire width of the path. I was travelling at a fair clip and tried to go round it, hit a kerb that was submerged in the middle of the puddle and had a massive OTB into a soggy patch of grass. Arrived at work looking like a particularly filthy hippo and had to go home and get changed soon after.

Also, trying to jump a double for the first time ever, at a local spot built on an old coal waste tip. Did a textbook faceplant into a pile of black slag in front of a crowd of jeering kids and had to ride home looking like Papa Lazarou.

Posted 2 years ago #
Danny79 - Member

Daily commute 6 years back, track standing at traffic lights with feet strapped in…
Hear car screeching to a halt behind me turn to look twisting bars as I spin round, start to topple furiously trying to free a foot from the dam straps to balance myself… managed to get my left foot down between the big ring and the tarmac as I collapsed in a heap with the bike. Jump straight back on the bike embarrassed as hell. Rode home noticed a cut on my ankle so stopped to pick up detol etc to clean it up. Put my leg in the shower washed away the blood then noticed the nice big tear in my skin area bout the size of a pound coin right down to the bone.

Trip to medical drop in centre who sent me on to A&E saying they’d phone ahead, tell A&E receptionist “Yeah yeah take a seat”, hour later adrenalins all gone and it starts to hurt so I hobbled up to a group of nurses to ask for a pain killer while I waited, one look and the blood pooling in my shoe meant I got assessed next. Asked for an x-ray as my foot started to swell up, was told it was clean no break. 7 very tight stitches later I was on my way home at 4 in the morning (friday night Queens Med in Nottingham is a nightmare staff do a great job just far too many drink related incidents) with the grudging loan of some crutches.

After a week of pain killers, beer and pizza with my foot up, I started walking again and my leg turned purple. Back to hospital another x-ray this time they spotted the fracture. 3 months in a caste no cycling or swimming and 1 sweaty festering leg with muscle wasting away. Bad times.

Posted 2 years ago #
ransos - Member

Another "my first SPD" moment:

Picked up my bike after having them fitted, went for a short ride, pulled up outside the bikeshop and keeled over, straight into the window. How happy I was that the busy shop was afforded a 1st class view of me making a first class tit of myself.

Posted 2 years ago #
Surfr - Member

Doing a bit of campsite tinkering with my rear indexing at SITS this year and I took the bike for a test run around the tree by our tent area and burried the front wheel into an unseen trough in the deep grass. Queue me forwards rolling with bike still clipped in. Nobody let on that they'd seen it but I know everyone did!

Posted 2 years ago #
TheLittlestHobo - Member

I was nearing the end of a ride in the lakes when me and my mate approached a gate. As we approached we noticed a group of 5 fit looking girls. I was all lycra clad so obviously these girls had no option but to stare in awe. I thought i would help the situation by lifting my bike above my head to pass through the gate which is usually the most manly way of doing such things.

As i approached the opening i was holding the rear triangle of my bike and one of the fork legs. Somehow the front wheel caught the gate and it swung the handlebar straight into my eye. becuase i was not expecting it and the fact they were ODI lockons (Metal) it caught me full in the eyeball and i immediately dropped to the ground rolling about screaming. My pall thought i had been shot. It ended in me finishing the ride only able to see through one eye and a trip to casualty where they said i had scratched my cornia or whatever it is.

Those girls didnt even pause mid stride to see how i was

Posted 2 years ago #
bigyinn - Member

I think the worst for me was bumping into my old boss and MD after having smoked some mid ride gear. God that was awful!
Same trail fell off into some brambles and nettles (Why are they ALWAYS together?) and couldn't actually get out as my bike was still attached. Cue sniggering friends pulling me out.

Posted 2 years ago #
GreenK - Member

I've done:

Mistimed kerb mount followed by "full body dab" accompanied by damaged ribs.

Multiple clipless incidents. The best while "mentoring" a mate on how to avoid clipless incidents.

After bleeding my brakes and feeling really pleased with myself, I demonstrated the new found power in my front brake by literally shooting over the bars.

Posted 2 years ago #
noteeth - Member

Every time I go out riding... doesn't have to be dramatic, either. Just small moments of idiocy. Last night I finished a beautiful stretch of trail with a loud, satisfied Borat-esque "iss naayice!". I thought I was alone, but alas not, and the rambler looked at me with a mixture of pity and contempt.

My favourite ever wasn't particularly painful... Desperately hungover on my way to a morning ride in Leigh Woods, I stopped at a corner shop and re-filled my water bottle with the Scottish recovery special Irn-Bru. Chucked in a few crappy bunnyhops and kerb jumps, and we're off, pausing only to admire a trio of Scandinavian beauties walking down the road. At the very moment we passed them, my nicely shaken-up water bottle decided to explode - the top flew a good ten feet, whilst Irn-Bru jizzed furiously like a soft-drink money shot. Cue much laughter and derogatory smirks. I felt dirty and used.

Posted 2 years ago #
enduro-aid - Member

up Aviemore camping the other week and i decided i would cycle up to the toilet block before bed, got on my bike and got about 10 feet before i cycled into the side of my own parked car!!!! threw over the bars and across the bonnet, ended up in a lump in front of the car

Posted 2 years ago #
jimster - Member

Trackstanding in a line of traffic at a junction waiting to pull out, felt I may topple over, couldn't release foot at time.......

splat!!! In front of a looker (for Malvern) in a BMW somethingorother

Posted 2 years ago #
whippersnapper - Member

Last night I finished a beautiful stretch of trail with a loud, satisfied Borat-esque "iss naayice!". I thought I was alone, but alas not,

I often have moments like that but tend to opt for Billy from the Vodafone adverts "Jah Jah" at the bottom of most downhills...I think a few "iss naayice!"'s may well be included now though

Posted 2 years ago #
infidel - Member

Last year, mates stag do. Day 2 and we go for a ride in the Elan valley. I'm all over it - recently into riding with a shining new full susser and all the riding gear. Most of the others are in trainers and on hire bikes. Cue stream crossing. The others potter through. Me - 'I'll show them how a *real* rider does this'...so I scream into the stream and straight over the handlebars landing on my front in a footballers post goal victory slide over the gravelly stream bed. Just as a photo of 'the expert' was being taken. What a pillock I felt. Of course 'It doesn't hurt - just a few scraches' while inside I'm screaming!

Also the obligatory new to SPD fails several times at Swinley. But that stag was a real entertainment for my mates.

Posted 2 years ago #
Kramer - Member

Coming down potatoe alley, down the final drop off, having been told by a guy on a pristine Yeti 575 ("I haven't had chance to ride it for the past two years because of the bad weather") going in the other direction that people were filming, but that everyone going down was getting off and walking.

I nailed it down there, straight over the drop off, in front of the video camera, trying to look cool on my pimpy bike, when the front tyre slips a little on a loose rock, and I shreik like a girl, before regaining my composure. You don't see Danny Madskillz doing that.

Posted 2 years ago #
Sonor - Member

A stationery crash on a railway station platform. Wanted to check the sag on my rear shock, got on the bike, leaned up against the wall, it was then my spd clipped in and as I went to pull it out I keeled over onto the platform.

There were a lot of people amused people on the platform opposite.

Also, I only seem to get permanent scars from the most silliest of crashes I have, in this case nice chainring tooth marks on my calf.

Posted 2 years ago #
Milkie - Member

Exmoor Explorer just gone...

Doing the last downhill section into Porlock.. I blitzed it past a fair few people, think I may have even scared a couple as I went past. I was flying down, went over a little hump near the bottom, and gave it some to get some air.. Somehow landed head first in a 3ft ditch next to the trail. Luckily it didn't hurt, just my pride, as the couple rode past when I was crawling out of the ditch.... Oh and they laughed again at the tea stop, must have made an impression.

Tortoise, Hare springs to mind.

Posted 2 years ago #
Munqe-chick - Member

(Mr MC posting)
new years day road ride with a bunch of mates, wearing brand new $$$ Raceface jacket. Descending towards 90 degree left hander at hill bottom I says "watch out, it might be icy down here".

So, no prizes for guessing who was the only person to bin it on the corner? On the plus side my $$$ Ti bar ends made a pretty shower of sparks, as my new jacket's sleeve shredded....

Posted 2 years ago #
CaptJon - Member

Doing my paper round. Saw some mates so i thought i'd ride at them very fast and endo right in front of them. Straight over the bars in slow motion. It was ok, i broke the fall with the fingers i'd broken the week before playing cricket.

Posted 2 years ago #
lunge - Member

I was right at the bottom of “the beginning of the end” at CyB where the trail crosses the road to the car park. Happily riding down the trail, see the game in front, apply a little front brake, wheel goes into rut, rear wheel starts to rise. However, I think I can hold it so try and not go over the bars and end up on the front wheel hopping on one leg whilst the other foot remains clipped in before slumping to a heap on the ground. I then look up and see the car full of people watching, pointing and laughing. I did what anyone would do, got back on and pretended it didn’t happen!

Posted 2 years ago #
D0NK - Member

Damn silly and worst ever crash, complete with audience. Out in spain with a holiday firm, a new guy was doing the guiding that day and we got a bit lost, couldn't find the last trail of the day which the guide hadn't been on, I'd been the year before and had ridden the trail we were trying to find so when I saw a path that looked a likely candidate I suggested I go take a look, "ok we'll wait here" (and watch) I fire down the trail pretty quick, it's a ledge path, wall on one side, drop on other as I'm screaming down the trail scanning the ground ahead I fail to spot the brambles on the wall that jut right out, blocking the trail completely at head height, I see them last minute and slam on the brakes but bin it to the side, 4ft-ish drop to a ledge where I spanner my wrist then drop another 4ft to the field and do my ribs in. Obviously it wasn't the right trail, sprained wrist and cracked ribs mean't no more riding, fortunatley it was day 5 of 6, still gutted tho.

And what is it with SPDs? Everyone warns "you'll crash first time you use them" but still everybody still manages to crash

Posted 2 years ago #
TimP - Member

Am enjoying this - makes me feel better about the stuff I have done! My mates describe me as "careless with my body"

A few moments below, but way too many to mention so stick to the local ones...

Went out on V8s for first time, tried to hop onto a curb and bike didn't come with me. Gouge was down to the bone and had to pick the hair and skin off the pins. Stopped bleeding after about 4 days. GF not happy about the sheets! Was about 150m from home

After a couple of beers didn't judge the point of no return doing an endo on Clapham High Street on a Saturday afternoon stopping at a pedestrian crossing. Road rash to shoulder hands hips and knee, but had to pretend it didnt hurt. Was about 20m from my front door

After fitting SPDs for first time thought I should climb on and check the tension. My flatmate wondered what I was doing as I fell in slow motion screaming. Cracked a rib so decided to loosen off the springs a bit. I was in the living room, on the 4th floor and the ribs connected with the coffee table.

Posted 2 years ago #
neilnevill - Member

this is a feel good thread...makes us all realise we aren't the only ones doing stupid things

One of my reent ones.

Riding gently along a flat gravel path, plenty of walkers around, feel and hear the buzz of a wasp or bee caught up in helmet strap/hair/behind ear. I take my left hand off the bars and move to waft it out but before I can the little sod stings me on the ear, I flinch grabbing a whole handful of front brake, lock the wheel and perform a forward dismount to land on the floor. gravel rash hurt far more than the wasp sting did!

Posted 2 years ago #

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