I'll kick off with a some of mine:
Pulling a endo off a kerb in front of some o.a.p,went up past the point off no return then let my brake off :oops:Ended in a heap on the floor with one of the old dears saying "It's a good job you've got a helmet on young man" as they walked past.My mate pissed himself laughing all the way round the trail.
Falling off in the car park at inners last weekend.Looking at the trail map with one of my riding mates before we'd set off,got going , compressed my front forks then next thing i know i'm on the floor.My mate said (inbetween his howls of laughter) "i wouldn't bother with the trail fella,the car parks hard enough for you.".I didn't look around but i could hear plenty of other people laughing. 😳

I have a scar above my left eye from when I pulled a wheelie off a kerb and unwittingly pulled the front brake on too. I was 4 at the time though.

Arranging the Single Track World Southern Festival last year. Offering a prize for the best mechanical. Snapping my 'Frame for Life' titanium pride and joy while just riding along*

*witnesses were present, I simple braked and it broked

Crashed the bike spectacularly hopping onto a kerb. Clipped in. Plenty of audience. Me in full Police uniform (well apart from SPD shoes and bike helmet)

I overtook a mate at this years Bristol BikeFest – went screaming past on a climb and gave him a load of banter about being slow etc. Felt like a knob immediately after!

It hurts to think about. : (

Sorry Andy but thats pretty poor.

I fell off my bike in a motel car park. In South West Utah. 20 minutes before we were supposed to depart for a 5 day guided trip in the mountains. And dislocated my finger. And needed an operation to reseat it. So missed the damn trip. And went off with the car key in my pocket… $1150 for a **** t-shirt.

And all I did was a little bounce about to check the bike was put back together properly.

Felt a complete and utter twonk I can tell ya.

Luaghed at not one but two mates mucking up a gear change on a steep 'impossible' climb in the Peak / loosing tracktion / balls on stem moment. Did it myself less that 20secs later, only landing at the feet of some walkers and wrapping an X9 mech around the cassette… 😳

Riding down the High Peak Trail, went off it slightly to muck around (I was bored with riding with an ex-railway line) and stuck my front wheel in a pot hole. Went straight over the bars in front of a family and bent a brake lever.

All the time so no story of look at this wheelie and then falling backwards when ppl finally look…eat tarmac.

Looking at hot blonde in summer and riding into stationary car at the traffic lights clippedd…in-eat tarmac.

Needs some salt…

I used to do my daily commute in full baggy mtb gear – DX shoes, Singletracks, Royal Racing DH jersey, Oakleys and a Xen.
One day I saw the office honey (think Angelina Jolie, but a bit hotter) walking down the road, and I thought "this is my chance to look cool." So I stopped and said "HI, I recognise you from work"
She's all like "Um, okaaay…" clearly having no idea why a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger look-a-like has stopped to talk to her.
Now, I hadn't really thought past my opening line so I blurted out "Just thought I'd say hi", and then rode off and did a crappy little bunny hop from the kerb in front of her.
I cringe thinking about it. My most ****ish moment.

First week or so riding clipped in. Coming back through town and as i come up to a level crossing right in the centre, the car at the front is a good mate of mines. For some reason though id ride up and give him a gentle tap on the arse with my front wheel, for sh1ts and giggles.
Cue me, unable to unclip, falling over onto my side, in front of a huge cue of traffic and people. He jumps out of the car wondering what the flip is going on, as all he felt was a shunt then looks round to see a random cyclist lying prone on the floor. Looking back it was a nobbish thing to do, although i did manage to amuse a crowd of about 40 people 😳

Everyone's stacked it while doing a wheelie in front of a group of onlookers havent they?

Worst I've done so far was on a family ride with the wife and kids. We get to a rutted section so I tell them I'll take the lead and show them how to ride it. Of course I binned it almost immediately, to howls of laughter. Everyone else managed to ride it no problem as well.

Also binned it good and proper while riding across the outflow from one of the Pentlands reservoirs, not realising just how slippery the cobbles were under a couple of inches of water. Lots of walkers about at the time as well who appeared to enjoy the spectacle of me sliding the rest of the way across on my arse.

Everyone's stacked it while doing a wheelie in front of a group of onlookers havent they?

No – but only 'cause I can't wheelie.

was rushing too see off my gf a euston a few weeks ago, just after a torrential downpoor, instead of dismounting and walking up the steps like a good citizen i decided to hop up the kerb and ride up the ramp at full pelt

obviously slick wet paving tiles + slope + braking + slick tyres + trying to turn + spds = full body dab infront of about 200 disaproving comuters

No – but only 'cause I can't wheelie.

Exactly. Neither can I, but that doesnt stop me trying. And failing.

Everyone's stacked it while doing a wheelie in front of a group of onlookers havent they?

Tick.

metalheart wins so far though. 😯

tried to impress my mates sister by hitting a reasonable drop off about twice as fast as I normally do. got a continuated fracture of the greater tuberosity on my right arm. I nailed the landing but the front wheel washed out as I tried to scrub the speed for the run off.
took months before I could lift a phone book.

Fairly often when riding with others, but not when i'm alone.
The one that comes to mind first was when I had a problem with a can of instaflate foam stuff, ended up covered in the stuff, and it doesnt taste nice at all 😥
then there was the square in bournemouth when it was covered in ice i slid for bloody ages, made a right mess of my suit.

Bunnyhopped a puddle in Richmond Park and snapped my collar bone on my right side and my wrist on my left side.

Had to get my girlfriend to wipe my arse.

I had a bit of a moment on top of Holmbury Hill a few weeks back. In fact I had 2 and I wasn't even trying to wheelie. First just about decend, cycled off fiddling with something, front wheel in a tiny rut but didn't have the speed to get through – off I went with handlebar cutting my nipple of all places. To make this better there was a running race going on at the time – plenty of people to stand, point and laugh. Then, on the way back up about 5m from the first incident the wind blows my shorts which get caught in the shifter, I couldn't unclip and over I go again with a couple of unknown bikers behind me. I hadn't fallen off in ages.

Just after i'd started riding spds, i went to catch a train to go riding… I was going along the platform, adjusting my gears, came to a stop , and i'm sure you can guess what happened next. And this was at 9.30 on a weekday morning, so the platform opposite was packed. 🙁

In my early teens, a girl in the year above me lived next door. One afternoon, I spotted her and a friend sitting outside the house as I cycled home on my 'Racer'. I remember bombing it down the road past them, being all cool as I overheard one of them say '..so fast..'. Triumphantly I turned on to our gravel drive. Skinny wheels met loose gravel and I went down like a sack of shit. I absolutely annihilated myself. Of course, the illusion of cool had to be maintained, so I jumped straight up and dusted myself off with blood pouring out of all the new orifices in my body. Acknowledged the girls with a wave, and strolled out of sight. Once in a convenient hiding place, I sat down and tried not to vomit from the pain. Lots of deep breaths were needed. When I had calmed down enough, I then I had to hobble out and fetch my bike: "No, no, really, I'm ok".

It pretty much cured me of showing off in front of girls ever again.

mid 1991,i used to cycle to trowbridge collegue.i had just bought a cycle helmet(none of your giro zen modern marvel!!!),to be honest,i was embarrassed to wear it.anyhoo to cut a long story short(thank **** i hear!!!)i though i saw some people that i knew,so didn't want them to see me wearing this abomination,on my head.as i got near them,i looked away from them,but not realizing that i was heading straight for a car trailer.so like a bad colt seavers,i ended up riding into the back of it,going over the bars.and rolling over the top of it,onto the road.the guys i thought i knew(i didn't ironically)were bent over from laughing so much!!!bastards 😀

Riding along past some girls sat on a wall, I looked at them and they smiled at me, so I smiled back, they waved, so I waved back, one of them beckoned me to come to her with her finger so I road straight into the guys I was riding with and knocked them and me off our bikes.

Me. Today. Leading group of guests along easy singletrack. Say hello to nice walkers who step out of our way. Look over shoulder to reply to question from guest. Stop front wheel on rock. Bin it in front of walkers + guests. Cue much hilarity.

Finished a lovely nightride, managed to crash on an almost flat bit of road about 500m from the car. Snapped the end off my radius, and used that to break another 4 bones in my wrist/hand. Then had to ring my mate to get him to help me put the bike in the car, as I couldn't lift it 😳 He took the piss mercilessly. Got my own back by living at his place for 3 months because I couldn't drive 🙂

Have fallen off in Afan car park too 🙁

quite a few years back, when i was into my BMX snap starts…. i was track-standing at a set of light, and when they went green i pulled up on the bars for a flat-out start…. when snap went my Bullseye cranks, and sheared right off.

Result, was me faceplanting over the bars HARD into the road. I was not gonna let those drivers think that i was hurting, so i jumped straight up, and went to get back on my bike. BUT, for some reason i fell straight over again, right in front of the waiting vehicles.

My crank arm, and SPD pedal were still attached to my shoe, and i just could not get to my feet, so had to sit in the road and take my shoes off first.

plonker.

back in my trials riding yoot… jumped on top of a big slippery pipe near a wall, because it was slippery, the brakes didn't work duh, the bike went straight over the top i went, head first, down the gap between the pipe and the wall – doing a sort of handstand with my arms trapped and my shorts & pants round my knees.

my mates so busy cracking up at the sight of my crack took em 5 minutes to come help me out!

Was at Dixons Hollow in Dalby Forest once when a bus load of OAP's were being shown around for some reason.

Someone was explaining the concept of the bike park to the pensioners who seemed to be generally responding positively. There were some teenagers hanging around on the jumps grabbing a bit of air etc. and all was looking good in front of the visitors.

Then i decided i should add to the spectacle by riding along the raised boardwalk section in order to demonstrate to them how it should be done. After a full 2 feet i overbalanced and went ar*e over t*t falling in a big muddy puddle in the process.

Cue the comment "It is better left to the youngsters i think" to which there was great amusement and i scuttled off looking suitably embarassed. 😳

final descent from a full day SDW ride, back to the pub car park where the car was parked. I'm giving it licks in the big ring, obviously. As I approach the car park and slow down, I suddenly get cramp in both thighs. I wobble to a halt, can't even move my legs to unclip, so balance briefly before falling over sideways.

The car park is full of walkers, the pub garden is full of early evening drinkers and families. And to a single man jack of them, every one is thinking at first – why doesn't he put his foot down – and then after that – why doesn't he get up. Because the cramp still hasn't worn off, so I can't.

After an eternity, i recover sufficiently to get up, and silently load the bike into the back of the car and drive off. While everyone still watches.

Landed on my arse with bike on top whilst demonstrating a manual in a busy car park.
Trying to bunny hop one of the evil waterbars on Bennachie. Front wheel caught it just as I was energetically scooping up the back. Result – almost a somersault and me leaving half the skin off my shoulder and arm on the path. Broken helmet too. Pals were too concerned to laugh……..at the time! Old walker who saw it all just grunted "You're not very good are you?"

Launched my attack on a 20km col in France with 7km to go, thinking there was only 2km to go. Everyone went past me at about 3km to go, after I cracked ridiculously. Took me about 20 minutes longer to get to the top then them.

Is this the first one that didn't involve falling off? 😀

A good few years back when I was on a ride with some friends across Woodbury Common we thought we'd take a short cut. We ended up trying to ride on some almost un-rideable trails covered in gorse. Of course I had to go and fall off to the side of the trail landing in a large patch of gorse.

As I wasn't wearing gloves I couldn't put my hands out to push myself back up again and so had to call my friend to help me out… cue second problem… I was just wearing a pair of baggy shorts and loose boxers underneath. As my friend pulled me to my feet I felt a sharp prick to the old bean bag and realised that a sprig of gorse was up my shorts and nesting on my sack like a needle about to pierce a balloon.

Not so much stupid but very painful and embarassing.

Every time I open my mouth on a bike usually. This weekend at Cannock Chase visitor centre drifting to a stop by the cafe (ignoring the no biking sign), put foot down to do the casual walk to a stop, spd cleats fail to grip the smooth concrete and I fall on my arse with about 30 on lookers, they laughed and so did I.

Trying to show the wife what a good biker I was when she was still my girlfriend by trackstanding in spds, promptly fell into a heap as I couldn't unclip. Wife did the same some years later waiting for a group of walkers to go past on a tow path.

Front exit from the bike while demonstrating the right line to some mates while out biking.

Chatting to a lass about which line might be better through a series of jumps before watching her take the series of doubles and a table top with far more style and height than I ever could. 😳

Just remembered another. Riding into Peaslake from the end of BKB. There's a bus stop in the middle of the village outside the shop which is alwaus full of mountainbikers. I rode up at speed and bunnyhopped onto the pavement as I normally do. Mid bunnyhop I noticed a stunning E Type Jaguar outside the pub and thought "Ooohh, that's lovely" and absent mindedly jammed on the front brake.

Result – the front wheel landed and the bike stopped immediately, depositing me over the bars and face first into the pavement.

I got up, determined to not show much pain and heard a female mountain biker declare "8 out of 10 for that dismount mate" and all her friends crack up laughing.

Harry's first rule of falling off:

The crapness of the fall is directly proportional to the quantity and quality of the teenage girls who see you do it.

Bombing along the Middlewood Way (a disused railway line), trying to get to the start of the Macclesfield Supacross cyclocross race on time, I rode flat out into one of those double railway sleeper stile things. Just didn't see it at all. I must have flown about ten metres, past the obligatory ramblers having a coffee stop. Didn't hurt but I was in shock for a while!

The Real Ale Wobble a few years back, granny climb out of a farmyard, right over a stile, trundle down the trail to a drop into a stream crossing that everybody's wading through.Thinks, wheely off the drop and ride through, if I balls up i'll put my foot down and get wet feet like everybody else.Just before I get to the drop a young lad nudges his mate and says "wow, he's going to ride it."(this was a long time before amazing trials vid's etc), as I push the pedals I realise i'm still in granny, front wheel comes up, and goes down twice as quickly and i'm over the bars and up to my elbows in icy water, two unimpressed lads carry on whilst I wring out my gloves in an embarrased fashion.

We did the comedy spd fall on the tandem – and then couldn't unclip as we were all tangled in it. Cue rolling about like a beetle on its back.