Before you go and speak to any docs about fertility find out exactly what you PCT rules are on NHS funded IVF. It is a bit of a post code lottery and very few have fully implemented the NICE guidelines.

Some will not fund if the women is over 35 or you have not been trying for more than 2 years (and various other rules like being fat or smoking)

Worth having this info in your back pocket before it being a rather unpleasant surprise.

And I think the cost per cycle is closer to £4.5k but I suppose it will depend where you go.

Lots more things to rule out before you get to IVF though. As someone in a similar situation I know how stressful it is, so good luck.

Yeah, those sorts of comments would drive mrs blobby to tears when we were going through it all Well meaning but so unhelpful.

yep, I think anyone struggling to conceive can be pushed over the edge with jokey comments. My particular favorite is ‘are you relaxed though, if you’re stressed it just wont happen, have a holiday’. Someone actually asked once if we thought we were doing it right :/

Anyway, don’t stress about coffee, I was told no more than two cups a day and to keep caffeine down (chocolate etc) in general during IVF and 3/4 cups a day in general or you’ll never sleep :). If it makes you or in particular your other half feel better then cut it out. Along with soya which is ever increasingly turning out to be food of the devil when it comes to fertility for women in particular

Jekklys advice isn’t quite right unless you know your Mrs has a 28 day cycle. You ovulate 14 days (assuming no luteal phase issues) before your next cycle. I have long cycles and ovulate generally ovulate sometime after day 21 so concentrating on doing is 5 days before the lead up to day 14 would be a bit useless. If shes not regular get sticks.

There’s too much information out there now for women to just kick back and enjoy trying for more than a few months. Try for 12 months, if nothing happens go to the docs and have a spunk test. If your mid 30s upwards go after 6 months. Good luck, our first year of trying was pretty good fun 🙂 Just a shame that four years on it still hasn’t produced anything.

Bizarrely it was injecting mrs blobby with a bag full of soya (amongst other drugs) that worked for us!

Ransos – the issue in a woman’s thirties isn’t the boundaries of natural fertility. It’s the success rate for fertility treatments, which do begin to diminish sharply from the mid-30s onwards, although techniques are improving.

Yup, but the myth of sharply reducing natural fertility is still being peddled…

All I’m saying is that for a couple (say in their mid 30s) struggling to conceive, they shouldn’t think it’s because they left it too late.

Pfft, I got pumped full of purified old lady p**s. Joyful, didn’t work either. Actually, the old lady p**s worked, it was the rest of it went tits up

Pfft, I got pumped full of purified old lady p**s. Joyful, didn’t work either. Actually, the old lady p**s worked, it was the rest of it went tits up

Blimey, not heard of that one. What’s that meant to do?

Pfft, I got pumped full of purified old lady p**s. Joyful, didn’t work either. Actually, the old lady p**s worked, it was the rest of it went tits up

WTF?

I drink loads of coffee and have 4 kids.

So that’s how they make Pregnyl?! I’ll have to tell mrs blobby as she had that too!

They used to get the drugs from nun urine. Now the drugs are manufactured by custom microbes, so the quality and purity is far better.

For the records, my wife and I have tried for five years to have kids. We’ve just completed our third full (and final) NHS cycle of IVF and are waiting for our seven week scan. However, the journey has seen us miscarry at about 10 weeks (not good), fail to take hold, miscarry, fail to take hold and carry to 20 weeks then stillbirth (very nasty). There is nothing wrong with either of us that generalists or specialists at two separate hospitals can find, the infertility and miscarriages are unexplained.

We hope with every fibre of our being that this time we will be able to carry to term, but the next 30+ weeks are going to be brutally hard on us both.

Everything crossed for you willard.

It’s a horrible process, any outcome other than a healthy baby at the end of it is absolutely devastating. Our first round didn’t take back in September and I was and still am just heartbroken, I can’t compare the feeling of that moment you realise it’s over to anything else, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Fortunately we have 3 top grade day 5 blasts and 1 day 6 blast in the freezer so might try again in the new year if we’ve got a spare £1600 lying around.

Blobby I’m not sure what the old lady pee did but I had it when I was growing my eggs. I responded really well, 17 eggs, 8 fertilised, 4 in the freezer. Although the one they put back in was perfect too and that didn’t turn out well.

Willard, everything crossed here too. I can’t begin to imagine how awful stillbirth must have been.

emma, that is a top notch haul! Worth giving the frosties a go. Our boy is a frozen one and mrs blobby is currently baking another frozen one, due Feb.

For what it’s worth we had three go’s with two fails and a miscarriage (positive test but no heartbeat at 6 wks – that was tough). Then went to Care in Nottingham (a nice 4 hour round trip for each visit!) and did the immune tests. Mrs blobby came back positive (so the theory is her immune system was attaching the embryo.) So we got IVF with the immune treatment and we’re two for two 🙂

It really is a shitty process to have to go through, more often than not for a negative outcome, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Yup, but the myth of sharply reducing natural fertility is still being peddled…

Fertility declines with age. For some people who are struggling to conceive in their (well, her, to be more accurate) late thirties, they may
have left it too late. That’s why the NHS advises that women over 36 who are struggling to conceive should see their GP sooner rather than later.

I’m going to ask about immunity testing when we go for our review next week, that and someone on another forum mentioned embryo glue, that’s not the technical term obviously but I’d never heard of it before. Going to have a medicated FET and put two back if thawing goes ok I think. Having said that I’ll probably get there, fall apart and be dragged home a crying mess and refuse to ever do it again. I’m promised FET is a lot less involved though

Mrs. Willard pretty much flatly refused to go through the whole process again after the last time. The hormones pretty much ruined her all the way through the prep and after implantation. Seeing all that work fail and losing our first child at 20 weeks just destroyed her.

She did carry on though and we hope that this time things will be successful. If not, we will go private and see where that takes us and what extra treatments they can offer over the NHS ones.

Emma82, good luck next week and thanks for the words. You too Mr. Blobby!

As meaningless as it from a stranger on the internet (who had a slight dabble with possible infertility but nothing on the scale you guys are going through), the very best of luck over the coming weeks to you all. Hope it all goes well.

I’m going to ask about immunity testing when we go for our review next week

After 3 failed attempts we just wanted to try and do whatever testing we possibly could and try and get some sort of diagnosis other than unexplained infertility. I still think we’d be trying now if we hadn’t found this. Was about a grand for the Chicago tests I think.

Thanks Willard and DD. It’s funny how you spend all this time and effort working towards a positive test.. but then that’s when the worrying really starts!

Good luck all, didn’t mean my earlier comments to come across as crass, apologies.

Miscarriages are bloody awful! The Mrs ended up being diagnosed with a blood clotting condition that was causing hers, she had to have an injection everyday to thin out her blood when pregnant.

We did the whole lot, gave up alcohol completely, gave up all but the odd cup of instant coffee, stopped riding the bike, even drove my car with my legs apart with blowers cooling my nads.

Didn’t work in the slightest but we *were* fortunate to conceive first time with self-funded ICSI IVF due to our postcode meaning we didn’t get NHS help. Painful writing out cheques for £900 for drugs at a local hospital when the person ahead of us got the same drugs for the cost of a prescription.

Still…

Erm, what’s the issue? If you’re meant to have have kids you will, coffee, alcohol, class whatever drugs…

They will mess up your life, cost you a fortune and contribute to over population – and they’ll probably have a worse life than you do, so why inflict it on them? Sorry, but it seems like narcissism to me…

Sure, whatever you want to think. It’s nothing to do with self love, it’s basic human nature to want to reproduce.

Thanks for your **** contribution though.

Sure, whatever you want to think. It’s nothing to do with self love, it’s basic human nature to want to reproduce.

Thanks for your **** contribution though.

Bollocks – and if you can’t be civil, don’t bother to contribute either. Get over yourself and have a big think about what I said. You might just learn something, although from your post I doubt if you’re mentally capable of that.

Bollocks – and if you can’t be civil, don’t bother to contribute either. Get over yourself and have a big think about what I said. You might just learn something, although from your post I doubt if you’re mentally capable of that.

Thing is, most of what you said is either incorrect or purely your opinion. So there’s ****-all to learn. You’ve been pretty rude in your only two posts on the thread so far, so either sober up or have a nap. You might be in a better mood in the morning.

Think the thread may have gone from coffee & fertility to alcohol & ignorance

Yeah, and where do you get off having a go at me DD? When does someone’s opinion get to be invalid – or is that the way conversation is now in this fascist country?

Admittedly one of my posts might have been a little strong, but it isn’t everyone’s human nature to want to reproduce – thank goodness, or we’d be completely screwed.

And why do you say that, adjustablewench?

**** me, it’s early days and you’re looking at shit like coffee intake? 😯
Try for 6 months (in my recent experience it can/will take this long), then go for tests.
If it doesn’t happen, it won’t be because of 2 cups of coffee/day.
+1 for DD, Julian, you’re a dick.

Julian – as you clearly haven’t been affected by infertility, your punitive remarks about parenthood and living with children aren’t really welcome just now. And quite why you think people wanting children is anything to do with Narcisism is beyond me.

I wish you well, nature may find a way. Live your life, do not give up hope.

If your Mrs has decided that coffee is the problem you might as well just give it up now.

With a grin or a wink, consider the earlier response as well 🙂

@johndoe – nothing in my posts should suggest that I’ve been affected by infertility – I simply don’t want children. I also happen to think that a desire to reproduce is often narcissistic. Is it now illegal to hold an opinion?

@wrecker – I hope any offspring of yours don’t inherit your wit, charm or eloquence!

They will mess up your life, cost you a fortune and contribute to over population – and they’ll probably have a worse life than you do, so why inflict it on them? Sorry, but it seems like narcissism to me…

Possibly – many would take that bet. Over and over and over again.

To paraphrase: Sorry but your view seems like Nihilism to me. Think: Eeyore?

I hope you get granted the choice and find some love for something – anything! – somewhere, somehow.

Julian, I aside the opposite, you appear to be unaffected, therefore not understand the issue.

So, instead of contributing to a thread positively, you spout nonsense based on personal opinion.

And still you haven’t explained why wanting children is connected to the unrelated position of being obsessed with yourself.

@bonchance – and that’s why we have a free society. So that others can take that bet and I shan’t – for whatever reason (and no one has asked about that, and I am not interested in explaining). I can no longer take that choice, for better or for worse, and again, I’m not going to explain.

I happen to think that the next generation is not going to have a great time, so why is it such a great idea to have children? I think it’s narcissistic because people seem to want to perpetuate themselves – I have no such ambition: my life has been sufficiently inadequate (until I met MrsJA) that I shouldn’t wish it on someone else.

The dreaded double post!

I said alcohol and ignorance because I was wanting to believe your less than tactful remarks on this thread were perhaps a result of drinking a few, and ignorance, because whatever your personal views you seem to have no comprehension of how deeply upsetting this subject is for those affected.

So I gave you the benefit of the doubt that you may have been slightly p!ssed and had little understanding – rather than being just down right malicious to those on here that have spoken quite openly about their experiences.

Well julians taken himself out of the gene pool.

Problem solved I think.

@adjustablewench – has my most recent post shed any light? My posts are (I hope) rarely or never malicious – I mostly have better things to do – but I do have very strongly held views on how things might turn out, and I don’t think its going well for the world or for the next generation, so I can’t quite see how it’s going to turn out well for them.

I’m sorry that people are upset by their ability or otherwise to have children, but I think that if God doesn’t intend them to reproduce they should just enjoy the practise and if children happen well so be it.

I do so hope you’ll do the same, Tom. Your eloquence and lucidity will be sorely missed. Not to mention your punctuation: I trust you’ll not be passing that on to the next generation!

No, I still think your posts are inappropriate on this thread. If you want to start a debate about global population or whether there is a ‘god’ determining whether an individual couple can reproduce . . .personally I think you should start a different thread

That muppet up there ^^^ Jesus, what a loser.