• This topic has 33 replies, 26 voices, and was last updated 14 years ago by ski.
Viewing 34 posts - 1 through 34 (of 34 total)
  • Clients ehh?
  • mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    Client 'My email isn't working – it won't send or receive – fix it now'.

    Us 'We have tested it here and it appears to be working – could you log on to your webmail account and test it from there'?

    Client 'I can't do that, our internet is down at the moment'.

    Seriously – we have just had that conversation.

    sofatester
    Free Member

    Please reply – "have you tried switching it off and on again?" 😆

    ricochet_rob
    Free Member

    Why should a User understand that their email uses the web, might seem obvious to you….

    Seriously…. I dont know, IT support staff….

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    MrNutt
    Free Member

    I can only assume that they fell on to the phone and hit your number with their elbow?

    mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    They also added 'but our telephone is working'…

    (And we are not IT support, we host their site/mail). If we were IT support I could have billed them £100 for that service call 😈

    tragically1969
    Free Member

    What about:

    Me: "Ring Ring, Hello…"

    Them: "Our printer isnt working, its got a message on it saying user intervention required, what does that mean ?"

    Me: "Erm, at a guess it needs something doing to it that it cant physically do itself ?"

    Them: "Oh yes its got some paper stuck in it"

    Me: "Click…………….."

    dmiller
    Free Member

    I work for a large hardware vendor (who shall remain nameless as I like having a job!). Earlier on this week we root caused a network failure in a customers data center to rabbits chewing on the cables. At this point I explained that they could have the cables replaced for free (mostly for making me laugh). You would have thought they would be happy with that…

    The customer then came back with it was our fault as the cables were not rabbit proof (badly designed) and they wanted compensation for down time… 😀

    llama
    Full Member

    I find its usually the other way around

    me> I can't log in it says 'account disabled'
    them> you mean you can't log into email?
    me> No I can't log in my account is disabled
    them> can you open internet explorer?
    me> No I can't log in my account is disabled
    them> ok can you try and log in?
    me> No I can't log in my account is disabled
    them> can you check you have specified the right user/password/domain?
    me> (yawn) yes I checked than but I can't log in my account is disabled
    them> ok I'll reset your account ….
    me> ok look it worked
    them> yes your account was disabled

    llama
    Full Member

    and the is a TRUE STORY from our support dept from the early days:

    customer> I have problem XXXXXX
    support> OK, open the window

    hears: tap tap tap tap cechunk followed by traffic noise from outside

    customer> OK the windows open

    bigyinn
    Free Member

    I work in suport for a phone and broadband company.
    If i had a tenner for every time i've asked someone to try a phone in the faulty line and they unplug the one they're talking to me on..
    I was setting a guys wireless up over the phone for him and he thought once set up he'd be able to use his connection from anywhere in the county. Err no!

    spacemonkey
    Full Member

    You should try working with NHS IT training depts … Frightening!

    GrahamS
    Full Member

    "My computers not working. It won't turn on."

    "Can you read me the serial number off the box please?"

    "No"

    "Why not?"

    "It's too dark."

    "Can't you switch on a light?"

    "No, the power's out."

    😯

    uplink
    Free Member

    From the other side of the line

    Me – Can I please book a support call?

    Tech – I need to go through a few things with you first

    Me – OK

    Tech – Are there any lights on the front?

    Me – I unplugged it because there was smoke coming from it & it was making a noise

    Tech – Can you wait 2 minutes & plug it in again?

    Me – No, as I said there was smoke coming from it

    Tech – I need to run these tests with you before I can book a site visit for you

    Me – Can I speak to your dad?

    Milkie
    Free Member

    Not a client, but one of the sales guys…

    Me: … And then press enter or return.
    Sales Guy: Does It matter which one?
    Me: No.
    Sales Guy: E N T E R
    Me: Did you seriously just type "ENTER"
    Sales Guy: Thats what you told me to do.
    I put the phone down on him. Bad me, I know. 😳

    samuri
    Free Member

    Laughing at people who don't understand technology is great isn't it?
    Do you think they're actually just inordinately thick or there is actually some mental block they have with the stuff and they're otherwise intelligent people. I like to think the former myself, that makes me feel even more superior than I already did.

    Olly
    Free Member

    slow clap for IT support.

    our computer system is reliant on an external company to run it and look after it, and there is no doubt in my mind that they create problems for themselves.

    i reckon they do it when theyre in a quiet spell, just boot everyone off, wait for the phone call, pretend they are "working on the problem" then let everyone back on again, and bill us a few hundred quid.

    they also are using this moronic terminal server system, where i look at a computer in kent, through a viewport on my laptop here in devon. its TOOO SLOOWWWW TOOO DOOOO ANNNYYTTHIIINNGG.

    Them: "Our printer isnt working, its got a message on it saying user intervention required, what does that mean ?"

    Me: "Erm, at a guess it needs something doing to it that it cant physically do itself ?"

    why don't IT bods make messages that say "it needs something doing to it that it cant physically do itself" then?

    its 6 of one, half a dozen of the other.

    Olly
    Free Member

    davidrussell
    Free Member

    where i look at a computer in kent, through a viewport on my laptop here in devon. its TOOO SLOOWWWW TOOO DOOOO ANNNYYTTHIIINNGG.

    STW's crashed your TS service on the machine in kent. STW is so power hungry it eats up resources on the wrog side of the country 🙂

    GrahamS
    Full Member

    why don't IT bods make messages that say "it needs something doing to it that it cant physically do itself" then?

    Doesn't help.

    "Support" call from my missus last week:

    Her: "The Internets have stopped working."

    Me: "Right. Are you getting any messages on screen or anything?"

    Her: "Yeah, it says 'Windows has detected a problem with your Internets. Problem Resolution: Switch off your ADSL router, wait 10 seconds and switch it on again.'

    Me: "So have you tried that?"

    Her: "Tried what?"

    Me: 😯

    She's quite bright. She knows how to read. She knows what the router is. She knows how to restart it. I'm not sure where the mental block comes in.

    GrahamS
    Full Member

    Olly: phwooar he was sexy back then 😀

    mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    Client has just rung to confirm that their broadband connection is working again.

    And so is their email.

    Well I never ever.
    😕

    nbt
    Full Member

    Always worth bringing this one out

    BigButSlimmerBloke
    Free Member

    I worked for a support company, and one of our clients had an email problem

    "We have a problem with our email"
    "What sort of problem"
    "Internal emails are ok, but we can't send external emails"
    "hmmm, I think know what it might be, can you print your autoexe.ncf file and fax it to me?"
    "No, I'm in the computer room, there's no printers, I'll do it on Monday morning"
    "Ok"
    Monday, no fax
    Tuesday, no fax
    Wednesday – "Did you fax me that file?"
    "No, the printer was out of paper so I just emailed it"
    "I see, and what exactly is the problem that you're having?"

    0303062650
    Free Member

    In a former life,

    User: JONATHAN, MY PC HAS EATEN A CD ROM AND IT WONT COME BACK AND ITS MISSING AND I NEED IT FOR A PRESENTATION 10MINS AGO, HEADS WILL ROLL IF IT DOESNT GET SORTED (etc etc)
    Me: OK Pam, don't stress, i'll be up in a moment.
    User: explains story again (showing me her compaq deskpro with quite large (compared to normal) slits between the drives, and the blanking plates)
    Me: I'll just take the side off of the computer and i'll see if we can see it?
    User: OK HURRY UP!!!
    Me: lid off of pc, cd sat on top of cd drive, removed and handed back to user
    User: its your fault with this shoddy equipment this happens, all the damned time blah blah etc etc…. I didn't put it there, rubbish computer, mine at home doesn't do it.

    Overly smug sales rep stood at top of 4 floor staircase demonstrating the power of his laptop running windows 98 (this was in 1999 or thereabouts) … anyway, he's professing to know 'so much' about modern IT (this was a paper manufacturing company, and he sold paper towels for a living) ….. alas, a young lady works by, sales man turns and knocks brand new, personal laptop down the stairs (right between the returns straight to the ground) … cue a smash and I walk off.

    Senior manager compains about his laptop being slow and could we sort it out.
    He brings it in, limewire, soulseek and other old P2P file sharing apps on it (this is a works laptop) and it was FULL of spyware and films intended for adults featuring water and sports… laptop rebuilt and nothing more said.

    jt

    dave_rudabar
    Free Member

    My GF helps look after the PCs for some of the people in her office, just the basics anyway.
    These are two of the best that still make me laugh;

    Them: "My computer screen's gone dead, i can't see anything on it"
    Her: "That's because you switched your monitor off before you went to lunch".

    Them: "I'm not getting any emails coming through"
    Her: "That's because you've not started MS Outlook".

    And they're trying to modernise themselves, not so much an uphill struggle as a climb up Everest!!

    Kit
    Free Member

    10 years ago I worked in a computer shop (owner is one Shaf Rasul. Dodgy bastard (allegedly)) building and fixing PCs. Didn't really have any stupid stories like that, just found it frustrating when people thought they knew more than you did!

    Anyway, I once found some child porn on a guys computer and I seriously regret not turning him in at the time. 🙁

    NZCol
    Full Member

    I needed some AIX drivers for an exabyte tape unit so rang IBM and they sent them to me…..on an exabyte tape. Helpful. Took the guy i spoke to a full 10 minutes to work out the problem.

    AndyP
    Free Member

    and the is a TRUE STORY from our support dept from the early days:

    customer> I have problem XXXXXX
    support> OK, open the window

    hears: tap tap tap tap cechunk followed by traffic noise from outside

    customer> OK the windows open

    similar to a call my sis took way back in the day working at IBM. Some numpty 'night manager' at a Trusthouse Forte had managed to do something to the computer and was panicking. it's all frozen up, etc.
    Sis asked him to try the escape key.
    him 'there isn't one'
    sis 'it will say 'Esc' on it'
    him 'no, there isn't one'
    sis 'OK. Are you looking at your keyboard right now?'
    him 'yes'
    sis (trying to stay patient and helpful) 'OK then, let's find it. Start top left and read me in turn what each key says'
    him 'main entrance. Inner front door. Cleaners' cupboard'….

    skidartist
    Free Member

    Before the internets…

    A new office assistant is by the fax in the corner, dialing in a number – sending a fax – dialing in a number – sending the same fax – dialing in a number for ages.

    After a while I go over and explain that she can just put all the numbers in in one go and it'll send it to each number, saving her having to stand over it all afternoon.

    "Oh no, I just need to send it to the one place, but it keeps coming back"

    GJP
    Free Member

    Me a young academic researcher teaching "top flight" undergraduate business students how to use spreadsheets as part of quantitative methods course.

    I am walking around from student to student and find one guy tapping numbers into his own calculator and then typing the totals back into the spreadsheet. Shocked I ask him how is this new computer technology helping him and making him more productive … it finally dawns on him.

    Ah the business leaders of tomorrow, perhaps not so surprising our country is in the state it is in.

    mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    No word of a lie…

    Had a call this morning – IDENTICAL situation to the one in my OP.

    And guess what? Yes – it was the same client.

    will
    Free Member

    😆

    mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    Ohh, she did say that another business in the same building as her had internet access so she thought that her email should still work (even though she know HER broadband through a different provider wasn't working). Yes, that's right, interweb will endure, irrespective of you having a valid functioning connection.

    Jeez.

    ski
    Free Member

    I work in suport for a phone and broadband company.
    If i had a tenner for every time i've asked someone to try a phone in the faulty line and they unplug the one they're talking to me on..
    I was setting a guys wireless up over the phone for him and he thought once set up he'd be able to use his connection from anywhere in the county. Err no!

    Lol I did just that last night, she called me back on my mobile and laughed at me 😉

Viewing 34 posts - 1 through 34 (of 34 total)

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