Viewing 38 posts - 1 through 38 (of 38 total)
  • cant seem to pick up the phone to call my mates
  • anagallis_arvensis
    Full Member

    so I’ll tell you…. my brother was found dead outside his flat in Baku on saturday night, its all been a bit of a blur since then

    TandemJeremy
    Free Member

    Shit. Nowt that can be said really apart from that. Must be absolutly horrid. My sympathies for what little it is worth

    do pick up the phone to your mates. They will and can help.

    KT1973
    Free Member

    Holy shit- sorry to hear this. That place can be pretty crazy for muggings etc. You’ve done the right thing not keeping it to yourself. Do you have to go over there? Feel free to pm if you want a chat- I have a friend over there also.

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    Moses
    Full Member

    Oh God, I’m sorry to hear that.
    My thoughts are with you – try to bear up.
    Can you just call one mate & ask him to rally the troops to look after you?

    Best wishes.

    iDave
    Free Member

    that’s so immensely shit, really sorry to hear. you should call a mate though

    footflaps
    Full Member

    Jesus, that’s horrendous.

    Not surprising you feel a bit odd, you’ll be stressed and stress is very good at incapacitating you. Best advice is talk to someone (anyone, even STW) as sharing how you feel will help.

    Hohum
    Free Member

    Hopefully sharing your sad news here will help you along the path to speaking to your mates.

    molgrips
    Free Member

    😯 Sorry to hear

    DaRC_L
    Full Member

    What TJ said + 1
    can’t think of anything else to write as it seems banal and a bit rubbish…

    5AM
    Free Member

    I had a similar experience not long ago, and feeling disorientated and overwhelmed is not unusual I don’t think.
    Just take things at a pace that is suitable for you, and talking to someone probably will help.

    For what it’s worth my condolences, and try to remember the good times.

    Bunnyhop
    Full Member

    So sorry for you.

    Go out for a walk and get some fresh air, ring someone as soon as you return. You really do need your friends.

    Pigface
    Free Member

    Sad news thoughts are with you.

    simonralli2
    Free Member

    My sincere condolences. My sister died quite suddenly and unexpectedly ten years ago. Obviously the circumstances were different, but this was a huge loss to me, as your brother is to you, and I can relate to some extent, especially when you talk about a blur.

    And do not worry about not being able to telephone friends. I could not do the same, but one friend telephoned the others to let them know. I do not know if anyone can do this for you, but I am sure that your friends would want to know in the coming days, so that they can be there for you and be supportive.

    Take care. With the emotions, I was told by doctors that it is good to go with the flow. I was all over the place so just try and hang in there.

    Take care

    peterfile
    Free Member

    i’m so sorry to hear that.

    i tried to deal with something traumatic in my own life last year without any support from friends, and I can honestly say that I wish I had contacted them sooner. I made a lot of ill judged decisions while i was grieving that I have to live with now.

    Contact your mates, they are there for you, that’s why you’re mates.

    donsimon
    Free Member

    Can’t add anything to the above comments, except don’t hold it in and bottle it up. That’s a real shitter.

    TandemJeremy
    Free Member

    Email me if you want to talk to a sort of stranger.

    ourmaninthenorth
    Full Member

    Awful. So sorry to hear.

    Second contacting one person to tell others.

    I know (of) someone who had to tell people her 14 month old son had died suddenly. She couldn’t face talking, so posted a short message on facebook.

    But talking will help. We’re all here.

    therealhoops
    Free Member

    That has to be a headf##k of the biggest order. Don’t try and work it out now, you’ll just melt. Small steps first, evrything else can wait.

    HermanShake
    Free Member

    I can’t imagine how you must feel, get in touch with you’re friends when you are ready and it’ll really help. But don’t worry if that itself takes a while. Follow whatever feels like the right thing to do, you are bound to be dealing with more than you are consciously aware of. It kept hitting me in waves when a friend died committed suicide in November, but time really does heal. My thoughts are with you.

    Junkyard
    Free Member

    it is odd how hard it is to say the words and saying them aloud somehow makes it more real.
    Chin up and deepest sympathies

    emsz
    Free Member

    OMG that’s just terrible. I don’t know what to say.

    Phone your friends, now! They’ll be immensely supportive, you watch.

    racefaceec90
    Full Member

    that’s horrible.i can only add my condolences along with everything said on here.you should talk to one of your friends though (i found it good for me to see some of my friends when my grandfather died from a stroke) good luck mate.

    buzz-lightyear
    Free Member

    I’m so sorry to hear that. Be close to the people who care for you. Please look after yourself.

    Diane
    Free Member

    So sorry.Phone at least one person who is near.

    mrsflash
    Free Member

    I’m so sorry.

    project
    Free Member

    So very sorry for you, please phone or call on a freind, you need company .

    anagallis_arvensis
    Full Member

    Well I have told a few people now. Dont worry all of you I’m not on my own have my partner and 5 month of baby for company. She was out trying to get the little man a passport as my brother lived in NZ when not in Baku and his body will be going back there. Never thought I wouldnt want to visit NZ.

    therealhoops
    Free Member

    With a 5month old you’ve probably not got much head space anyway. Not the best positive, but it’s a start goddammit. Remember to pack calpol and jnr.neurophen.

    Northwind
    Full Member

    I’ve nothing to add but best wishes

    fadda
    Full Member

    I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through, but offer my sincere condolences and best wishes.

    You’ll be fine, in time, but all you can do is go with the flow and don’t bottle stuff up (sounds like you’re not).

    So sorry for you.

    MrNutt
    Free Member

    yhm

    Creg
    Full Member

    My condolences to you and your family.

    Sorry but I really can’t think of anything more to say

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    My heartfelt condolences AA.

    Bregante
    Full Member

    So sorry to hear that. Sincere condolences.

    anagallis_arvensis
    Full Member

    Had various visits and calls today, cant say I feel any better but suppose it takes time. On the plus side baby now has passport but no news on when he’s being repatriated

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    cant say I feel any better but suppose it takes time.

    It’ll get worse I reckon – something like this takes a while to sink in. We can’t quite believe it’s happened, and we wake up in the mornings only to be reminded that it wasn’t a nightmare but real. The funeral will bring some closure, and people are often too busy with the arrangements leading up to it to allow themselves to grieve. After the funeral can be a difficult time.

    cinnamon_girl
    Full Member

    Dreadful news. Be strong.

    TandemJeremy
    Free Member

    It will take time to feel better – weeks/months not day more than likely but there is no right or normal reaction, you just react as you do

    Do consider professional help – it really can help you to recover

    good luck

Viewing 38 posts - 1 through 38 (of 38 total)

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