I know how you're feeling OP. MrsH was diagnosed 20th December, aged 38. We knew when the surgeon and nurse sit you down. Been a whirlwind since. Had a two week wait for MRI due to Christmas, but was told it was full mastectomy left side as 3 Grade 2 tumours present with total area over 5cm. MrsH has been very strong and positive, all the medical staff have commented. We're both scientists and are pragmatic about it, given we've two young children.
She opted for full reconstruction, so an 8 hour op. She's doing great now and has her second of her six cycles of chemo on Friday. Radio will follow too. We have our family and so although we were asked several times about further children, it was a straightforward decision for us. We're told she is now cancer-free and all the further treatments are to make sure it's gone.
The support is fabulous from all parts of the NHS, we have friends and colleagues who have been there too. It's hard, very hard and not something you expect to have to deal with. But she's young, fit and healthy and they've got it. All that points to a great recovery.
It focuses your minds on what's important in life and like you say when you see what some of the patients and their families are going through.
Breast Cancer Care put on weekend events for young women (<40) with the disease, all paid for. One in June I believe in Nottm. Early days for you both, but whatever might help you.
Be strong for her, she'll need it, and make sure you keep yourself fit and well, with some downtime. I'm knackered and it's difficult to keep going at full speed some days, making sure the family are OK and keeping up with work etc.
All the best for you both and your families.