Dunno what your budget is, but look at the panasonic LX-3 (or the replacement LX-5) for a good compact with options for full manual control, adding a “proper” flash etc.
FWIW I have a micro4/3 camera (a panasonic G1) if you want interchangeable lenses they’re as small as it gets (e-pl1 is cheapest) but still a fair bit bigger than the LX3.
Extra lenses are expensive* though, the LX-3 I suggested (or maybe canon s90 or g9/10/11) are larger compacts that still allow for manual controls and have good built in lenses.
*not strictly true, I use some manual focus lenses that I got cheap too, but by the time you’re carting them about it’s a lot less compact.