Right choose either 3 egg for a reasonable cake or 4 egg for a big-ish one. 3 will prob cook better. Then double that number for the number of ounces of everything else:
6/8oz self raising flour
6/8oz butter/stork marge
Mix it all up
Put it in a cake tin whose sides and base have been rubbed with butter or grease.
Put in oven preheated to 180 or 160 for a fan oven
Leave 40 mins
Remove, cool. Absolutely piss easy, foolproof, and takes about 5 mins.
- You can check it's done by sticking a knife in it and seeing if it comes out clean.
- Do not keep opening the oven door, this causes the cake to sink.
- you can mix in a blender, if mixing by hand it's a little easier to mix fat and sugar first then eggs then flour.
- if using butter soften it up in the microwave first, doesn't matter if it melts.
- if you want to be flash, divide the mixture between two shallower tins and make the top and bottom half separately for more even cooking and neater cakes. You do however need two shelves in your oven for this. And it might take less time to cook - not sure, I don't usually do it :P)
For flavouring, you have several options:
2tbsp cocoa powder
4tbsp coconut (my fave)
juice of a lemon and fine gratings of the rind
a layer of jam in the middle
Icing is easy, usually inovles icing sugar and a tiny bit of water mixed into a paste, not too runny for the top. For the middle, slice in half and add jam, butter icing, cream, whatever you like. If making chocolate cake simply melt dairy milk on the top and in the middle. Coconut in butter icing is nice, both on top and in the middle.
If you want it to look like those shop bought birthday cakes, slice in half and add jam. Then slice the rounded top off to make it flat, get some icing from the shop, roll it out (or get it ready-rolled) and drape it over the top. Buy icing in tubes and write on it, or draw spiderman, or whatever.
For a laugh, buy coloured fondant icing and make little plasticine figures for the top.