Sad news, and a terrible time for you. Losing a dog is very hard, it’s a different quality of friendship to that we have with other humans.
We went through this almost exactly five years ago. Ali was terrified of the vets so we called ours out when the lad had had enough. He died in his bed with no anxiety or fear. I consoled myself with the thought it was the ultimate and least selfish gift of kindness I could give him.
Lovely photo of Ellie. If your day is anything like ours was you are now a bit drunk, alternately laughing and crying at your memories of a well-loved dog.