I found out last night that the question “Do you know how many bikes you’ve got in the garage?” is rhetorical.

It also transpires that the answers “Yes” or “Yes, I’ve got n bikes” or “No” are all incorrect.

I too was quizzed on why my bike had changed colour and now had a rear shock. I don’t give her enough credit.

Hmm is it perhaps one more than the last time you were asked?

Tell her the extra bikes aren’t yours, they’re your girlfriends.
That should calm things down.

It’s possible it might be 2 more than when they were last all together in 1 place, it looks as though my strategy of Divide and Hide may have been uncovered 😳 …..fortunately she didn’t look in the roof space, If she’d found the “spares store” I’d really have been in trouble

You deserve to get busted, simply for the fact that you call her S.O. alone.

sandwicheater, you fool! You committed the cardinal sin. You changed the colour!! Schoolboy suff. I expected better from you! Eveyone knows there is but one element that must remain constant, ALWAYS…. the colour!

I think we’ve reached the point where my wife doesn’t actually care how many bikes I’ve got.

I’m not sure how I feel about it, tbh.

For safety reasons bikes need to be repaced every 2-3 years. Honest.

I’ve recently consolidated to one MTB and one Road bike so i’m very much in the good books.

It’s only been a few weeks but i’m getting the itch again!! One MTB just isn’t enough………

4 months before my girlfriend noticed one of my bikes in the hallway was a different shade of grey.

50 shades of Grey?….

Honey I’m buying another bike.

Fine dear

or

Our finances show we don’t have enough disposable income so we can’t afford it

It’s that easy

You need to rack them closer together. Just found room for four more whilst still making the garage look tidier this weekend. And always the same colour.

The helmet and bike colour for my commute to work does determine whether I get a “So are you racing/going to the club this evening then?” comment though.

Ahhh, the bike version of the good old Harlow Pub Quiz (only one question – “what you looking at?”, every possible answer is wrong). I’ve just had a very similar conversation with my missus, with a very similar outcome 🙁

I’m not saying there was any trouble over this, it was more that she was surprised at the (modest IMO) number involved….apparently it means she can buy more shoes though

I would suggest going on the counter attack, how many pairs of shoes/clothes does she have and how many pairs of black shoes does 1 person need, especially at that price.

If that doesn’t work then revert to the fact that you cycle for her benefit, you will be thinner, healthier and live longer to provide for her. It provides a positive role model for your future offspring too.

If you didn’t cycle then you would be in the pub spending money of beer, fags, gambling and more than likely you would be tempted by other women.

😆

I was told by my missus recently that i’m now on N+1=D…ivorce…so who’s got a bike I can buy?.

This is the only reason I’ve ordered my new Rooster in “Swift Blue”…

Don’t see the point of hiding anything me. I mean what differance does it really make to your S.O. ?

MrsBouy once had a moan about me blocking in my spare room (where my bikes sleep) because she wanted to get in there. I told her in no uncertain terms to butt out and leave the place alone. TBH she didn’t listen and proceeded to clean the room up because “she was bored” one day.
Never been able to find anything since.

I’ve been tempted on more than one occasion to stick a padlock on it but I’d prob’s loose the key.. 😆

i sold a bike yesterday. I got the impression that there is now a defined quota for the flat.

Took my wife some time to realise that my M2 Stumpjumper had cloned and there were /two/ M2 Stumpjumpers in the shed 🙂

I would suggest going on the counter attack, how many pairs of shoes/clothes does she have and how many pairs of black shoes does 1 person need, especially at that price.

Yes but the new boots she came home with were half price down from. £150.
Which apparently renders the question whether she needed new boots or not completely irrelevant.

“It’s ok, I’m selling one soon”

Gets me out of trouble every time.

I was told by my missus recently that i’m now on N+1=D…ivorce…so who’s got a bike I can buy?

can also be written as x=s-1 where s is the number of bike that will result in separation from your partner

The last time a bike box arrived I let Mrs cloudnine do her shouty bit then handed her the bike box and said.. Well actually it’s yours… (anniversary gift). Priceless silence.

Two of the last bikes I was going to sell to fund the next (ok already made) purchase have ended up as hers. Does mean were getting a bigger shed though 🙂

Add up the price of all those creams and stuff.
Mrs Zip was rumbled at the airport with £300 of Clarins. There was only a few items in the bag.I would have guessed £50 if asked how much.

rumbled at the airport with £300 of Clarins….I would have guessed £50 if asked how much

I’ve always hoped my wife makes similarly ill informed judgments on the price of bike parts…

We have a funny one when we do motorbike trackdays

“don’t be crashing lads, I hate having to phone up your wives to tell them they need to arrange collection of your bike that you’ve told her only cost about a Grand”

Yes but the new boots she came home with were half price down from. £150.

And a pair of new Sidis is how much? I too have used the shoe argument. To my credit, all of the bikes are ready to ride, and most are ridden regularly. But there are a lot of them – safety in numbers – an extra bike is only a 5% increase 😉

You committed the cardinal sin. You changed the colour!!

A long time ago I impulse bought an Eddy Merckx road frame that had been painted bright green.

Having built it up I forgot I’d put it in front of the washing machine (that had to live in the garage for kitchen space reasons).

Four weeks later, having not got round to riding it yet, I got a proper ear-bashing along the lines of ‘where’s that green one come from?’ to which I replied I now had evidence that she had not done any washing for four weeks!

You’re all lucky to be able to disguise purchases by keeping the same colour. My wife rides as much as I do (has more and better kit/bikes than me) and notices when I do such minor things as switch from X( 9 speed to X9 10 speed or switch an older tyre for a newer one. On the plus side I do get to ride whenever I want and 3 weeks abroad with bikes is the preferred choice/minimum holiday each summer. And I got a month’s honeymoon in the Alps and getting an anniversary in Whistler next summer.

Never had that awkward conversation for a while now, ever since I found out how much her haircuts were costing 😯

Suffice to say I can spend my ‘pcoket money’ on whatever I want and as long as there is room to get through the garage to the bins then we’re both cool.

I recently changed my commuting/road bike from a black, flat bar Kaffenback to a grey, drop barred Charge Plug. I thought I’d better let her know, so:

Me – “Just to let you know, I’ve bought a new bike”
OH – “Have you? I’d never have noticed, you shouldn’t have bothered saying anything”.

She’s a keeper 🙂

Just replaced the road bike by pointing out that after deducting my bonus payment, the money from selling the old one and using the money I was salting away for a new bike for her which she no longer wants, the actual cost to change bikes in the sale was the same as a service at tbe lbs.

Think she regrets choosing not to get a new bike now.

And n+1=divorce if n=3 in our house. Some days my credit card finger gets twitchy….

busted the gear mech on my 3 year old bike (but well looked after), to which “bless her” and without prompting said…why don’t you just buy a new bike!?!? 8O. genius …and gob smacked I didn’t hang around and did. still fixed the other bike 🙂

My step dad is currently asking me to keep asking him if the LBS has condemned his (only, 7 year old, had most things replaced twice at what must be the cost of a new bike now) bike yet, infront of my mum, entrapping her into saying ‘why dont you just buy a new one?’ that way it wont cost him a fortune in holidays/shoes/wimmins stuff like last time as he can claim it was her idea.

Not that he’s terrified of her or anything…

Ahh yes, this old chesnut. I had similar but mine was entirely down to my complacency. I assumed that, somewhat earlier in the year she had asked which bike I was riding today she had meant which road bike, I therefore assumed the second roadie had been accepted into the fold without so much as a whimper.

So when she wandered into the garage and saw 2 road bikes I thought she already knew about both. Turns out she didn’t and she was questioning if I was going out on MTB or roadie. Cue awkward “when did that arrive?”, “why did you need another one?” and “why did you not mention this?”. Thankfully, she is of the opinion that as long as I can pay the mortgage all is well. Still made me squirm though.

My GF has more bikes than I do. WTF?