Okay, this is a agony aunt post, friend who i went to uni with in the 1980’s who met his wife at uni has broken up with said woman, not amicable after 25 years, kids at uni though so spared that. He moved up near us (my family and I) and whilst he is great bloke, he has become a family member, \i am llosing kids to uni I do want them replaced in fact he spends more time with us, he is a sociable bloke but terribly underconfident with women and is asking for advice, I have been with SO for 23 yrs, what do I know?.

So to prevent me getting a divorce how or where do i find this fellow a woman, date or what ever?

Yours sat looking at said friend not telling him i have just posted on the web his problem and wondering does this make me a bad friend?

get your wife to really like him and him to like your wife..

Then go have crazy fun..

HTH.

you are asking on here for dating advice 😯
you need mums net surely for this sort of stuff.

Junkyard, it is a fair point, but what is mums net?

Dare I ask?

Plenty of fish? direct dating? etc etc etc

No no no, not the dating site way..

Tesco’s or Asda are great places to pick up ladies, and you can be selective about how healthy they are, work out whether they are single, have kids.

if he lacks confidence thats a good place to start
get him to take up martial arts or something to build confidence (rather than meet hard women)
after that just find a gym with a mixed sauna?

Whats wrong with the web? I know a few couples who met this way.

Why would anyone go on the pull at Asda? In fact sharki you so sound little bit like a stalker! 😆

Hmmm… I’d say join clubs and stuff.. try some new hobbies, enroll in beginners courses for things… so much more fulfilling if not quite as efficient as internet dating.

How the f’ do you pull in supermarket?!

No seriously, how do you pull in Tesco?

sharki tescos intresting? that surly is not true.

gym i can see that but he will go charge around get sweaty and red, want want to talk to anyone as he is in the ‘zone’/here to train not too talk…………is that attractive?????

Some kind of dance class place, salsa, jive a friend of mine met her current partner at one of those places even if he doesn’t meet the one it will get him used to socialising with women again.

PD

Another no for POF/internet dating, you never know what you’re going to get and my recent experience was not a pleasant one, i’ve never met such an awful deceitful person. I’d rather go for a sports club/salsa type thing but in honesty he needs to get over his wife first!

Definitely agree that internet dating is not the way forward in this situation. Perhaps an activity club like spiceuk.com? Loads of different activities/social events and it’s not specifically advertised as a ‘singles’ place.

He really does need to realise that he can not keep invading your home, apart from it probably annoying your wife!

Here’s a tip: BOOK CLUB!

There’ll be at least one in your area. I’ve just joined one, only one other chap attends and you know as a given that all of the ladies gathered there can read…which if internet dating has taught me anything, is an increasingly rare commodity these days.

Speeddating:
– IS NOT really a good place to meet potential partners.
– IS an excellent way of improving your confidence at talking with women (or men) after an absence.

Maybe he could give it a try?

If not, just get yerselves out on some bikes and take minds off things.

Tesco’s or Asda are great places to pick up ladies

maybe avoid tesco’s

Tesco’s or Asda are great places to pick up ladies, and you can be selective about how healthy they are, work out whether they are single, have kids.

How come you’re called Sharki………..?
😉

I witnessed something that I’d only ever seen in films and on TV before, but I’ll share as it may be of some use to you.
Waiting outside the registry office to go into a friend’s wedding, a woman appears with one of the smallest puppies I have ever seen. My mate and I enter into a discussion about whether it would be possible to kick it over the building or would we have to swing it around using the lead to get the required trajectory, but the girls seem to have lost all control of themselves. I have never seen such an astonishing reaction to any creature before. If the groom had done a runner at that point, I don’t think the bride would have actually been that bothered.
My suggestion is to get down to the dogs home and test drive some puppies around the park on a sunny afternoon and see what you catch.

Key points about using a supermarket to search for potential prey/victims/mates,etc.

Supermarkets are a place where most people who can loose they rag, show impatience and their quality of life(healthy life style as opposed to wealth).

It there we can observe them at there worst and it’s good to know how they behave under stressful situations like time constraints forced by queuing, not being able to find things due to the constant rearranging of stuff. So moody miserable buggers can be singled out as no no’s.

At previously mentioned it can be observed whether they are single or have children(if that’s a good or bad thing whilst looking for your next victim). Have a gander in their basket.

Healthy eating means they are either concious eaters and or have a health life style, look for fruit and fresh veg, micro meals means they are too busy to cook or can’t be arsed to eat well.

Alcohol buyers, Hmm! could this show a binge drinker? And check out if they head to the Fag bar after getting there main groceries…Yuck smokers, yuck! Also there’s the ones who buy the magazines, OK, Look, etc..Bound to be watchers of soaps and reality TV…Ewwww!

Bargin buyers. Do they really want that half price candle? Signs of impulse buyer, DANGER! DANGER!

Flour, icing sugar, baking isles…OH YEAH BABY! Cake bakers.. GOOD girls.

Pharmacy and toiletries. Good place to learn about their hygiene, health issues…or concerns.

Bank card or Credit card…money in the bank or living a life on the never never..

Whilst observing you should be loading your trolley with healthy foods and top up cleaning products, to show you’re a tidy and healthy person. If you’re suitable mate has noticed all this, eye contact should all ready of been made, but not from staring at her fresh buns straight from the bakery. An attempt to catch her eye should be made and if it’s made glance back and just smile, not grin or show teeth, just smile like you’ve just seen something that pleases your eye, a genuine sincere smile. And move on with your shopping.
Most people have a routine whilst shopping so you’ll no doubt appear n the same isle again.Be wary for the all important second glance, which MUST be made with a smile. This is the difficult one as you can’t just stand there staring, though you need to be ready to feel her eyes looking to you,if you do slowly look at hers(eyes not butt or boobs) and if smiled at smile back. If no smile is made at you she now thinks you’re stalking her and that you’re some sort of wierdo, back off and leave her alone. Remember the first smile she made was polite one.

If you’ve been lucky enough to get the two looks complete with smiles you’re on to a good thing, hopefully your observations have paid off and she’s a single, healthy intelligent and interested female.

Now the easy part, the hard bit was getting her interested. You’ve just casually met in a supermarket whilst buying lots of healthy tasty food, you’re both no doubt feeling a little thirsty and peckish, the perfect time for a casual drink in the conveniently located cafe. Having shared the isles together, you’d of no doubt ended up at the checkout at the same time, and if you’re clever about it, will have paid and packed at around the same time and at a checkout nearest the way out so that he needs to pass you, super stuff.

See you can’t just overtake her from behind and ask her to join you for a coffee, but if she’s heading your way, you can easily stop for one last look and if you’re timing spot on, she’ll be heading your way and as you’ve already had the two looks and smiles, she will look and smile again.

Then it’s just a matter of talking to her, mention you saw her in the isles earlier and remark that it’s rare to see a healthy eating lady these days, that’s breaks the ice and she’ll immediately look in your trolley and noticed all that fruit and veg therefore no doubt will return the comment. Conversation has started and a simple, “I wonder if you’d care to join me for a coffee or tea with me, of course that’s if you’ve got time, if not now perhaps another time”. and leave it to her to decide, no pressure on her, relaxed and carefree with eye contact at all points of conversation..

Sure fire winner, i’ve met plenty of dried up oldies willing to knit me socks and bake me cakes…This may work on younger ladies too so i’m told.

HTH.

Sharki.

I’m with sharki. I’ve pulled a number of ladies in the supermarket and had lots of other interests. It’s easy. just stand near a lady you like the look of and look confused about something you’re buying. if she’s interested then you’ll eventually get a quick eye contact and smile off her and that’s your cue to ask her about the product.

Would this go well with red wine? (assuming it’s not washing powder)
etc.

There’s loads of discussion points when you’re in a supermarket too, you can talk about each other’s items, is the other one down the road any better, the fresh food here is always a bit off, etc, etc.

Libraries used to be great places too but I suspect with the internet really taking off that’s not so hot any more. It’s even easier in a Library as long as the ladies are hanging out next to books you know something about.

But for 100% sure fire, guaranteed, nice lady attracting potential, get hold of a baby. Sister’s, cousin’s, whatever. Offer to take it down the park and just sit there and wait for the interest to roll in. The win is yet to come though. Once they find out the baby isn’t yours but you’re the kind of guy who looks after one voluntarily, you don’t even have to do any work any more. They will ask you out!

Sharki – genius. Samurai – even more so. Friend of mine is due in September 😀

Sharki/Samuri – this is pure gold – I’ll print it out for future reference if I find myself single

sharki, you’re forgetting that your method requires actual rather than virtual personal interaction and communication with a woman. a process which is known to be beyond most STW users.

Your two posts guys should go down in the annals of STW history as premium advice for the masses.

(Though your method does involve rather a lot of island-hopping, Sharki… 😉 )

I think I’ve just found a flaw in my Waitrose only supermarket strategy.

Undoubtedly the women are of a higher class, but also of a higher mileage…

Puppies and cute dogs work really well.

I used to have a very friendly spaniel – with great eyes (apparently) – she was great for meeting people. She was very friendly, would always chase sticks/balls etc but also very obedient – i could make her sit at a distance by whistling…….. and also helped identify people who were interested in a hyper active, muddy, smelly spaniel who needed lots of exercise, rather than woman who wanted to sit in the house and watch Corrie.

Also means you have a good excuse for hanging out in the park…..and you will not end up with a restraining order.

idave in that case most STW’r can either remain behind their desks and beat off frantically at an image or video of an unknown female and dream about being there with her always having her or her friends there with them. These virtual girls are dependable, available at a moments call and don’t complain when the boss comes over making them close down the web page.

If there happy doing this and not meeting real flesh and blood ladies that fine, if however they do want to meet the real thing then a get out there amongst people and enjoy life, walk tall, smile, be open, honest and polite. This will make you instantly recognisable and approachable, it that fails you’re one ugly mo fo and should stick to mum cooking and internet based self loving.

It’s like buying a bike only you can’t swap bits to make the perfect one for you.

But here’s the most important tip which should be put into any method you chose to use. Be yourselves, if you don’t want a dog, don’t get one to pull with, if it works the dog becomes redundant (they’re for life, not just for attracting a partner).
Same for babies really.

Goodluck out there in the scary world of dating.

Many thanks for the posts, in no order

book club great idea

salsa dancing, he is competative to the max but go with that

sharki you should be a screenwriter, that is inspired and a step too far for him at the moment.

CG he is treating this moment as a student revisted moment, plus social nicietes/social interaction not his strong point.

Get a dog.

I’ve lost count of the number of women who’ve stopped and chatted when I’m out with my hounds. Some older, some younger, and some very definitely single.

It helps to have cute dogs, mind you.

Dog or Climbing Wall

or personality

supermarket

absolutely the top place for pulling according to a mate of mine
not me
I mean honestly not me
If I said not me again youd get suspicious
But not me

Anyway heres the plan

Go to whichever supermarket fits the target kind of partner youre looking for late on a Friday or Saturday afternoon
Obviously Waitrose and Netto get different types of totty

Put a lasagne for one in a basket and then hang around the ready meals in a non stalky/psycho way until you see someone you like the look of also buying a ready meal for one

Start a conversation along the lines of “oh youre a sad inadequate billy no mates without a BF/GF too and its the weekend” kind of chat and bingo youre off!

Honestly this was my mates strategy and looking at the birds he used to pull not a bad one

Best of luck!!

Supermarket? Dog? Gym? Borrowed children?

Whatever happened to getting blind drunk and going to a cheesy nightclub?

Gays the way, or at least it was today in Man- chester, lots of freindly people about.

Could this be the worst idea ever?

Asda Dating site.

Sharki and Samuri, I salute you.