If he lives in another country going home for weekends is pretty unlikely.

It’s a balance, some people love it but ime more dislike it especially if term boarding.

Without sounding like a soppy git, I think I’d miss them too much to have them away all the time. But then again, they are not teenagers yet so maybe I will change my opinion then.

Some schools will let kids try out for a week. My daughter did, and changed her mind. But her friends enjoyed it. A lot depends on the school, and your daughter.

I’d just take a lower wage over boarding school. You only get to see them grow up once.

All the men in my paternal line went to Harrow, they are not especially emotionally well equipped…I went to public school for a year but hated it and was happier in local comp. I keep my 3 kids close as I couldn’t handle (or afford!) them shipped off. Nice to be integrated with the community around you too.
My eldest does go to a expensive public school on a scholarship for her A levels, her choice and she loves it, and the boarders seem pretty well cared for. I do feel a bit for the Foreign students, long way from home.

Ex boarding school age 10 run by the Irish Brothers in a Hill station in India. Great adventures etc etc but as some of the others have posted you end up with deep issues that you probably don’t even realise you have until later in life.

Would I send my kids … not a chance in hell as much as they would enjoy some aspects of it.

I boarded from 11 to 18 at Stamford Boys. I loved it – friends 24/7. Never a dull moment.

We still had fagging. I was never bullied and any bullying that did occur was swiftly nipped in the bud by the person you fagged for.

I had a wealth of opportunities and was never homesick. I actually spent most holidays at Lympstone with the CCF, as I was marine-barmy.

It’s twenty years since I left. I’ve recently started seeing a psychiatrist to resolve certain personal and marital issues.

As mentioned, I’ve always professed to have loved my time at boarding school. Since seeing the shrink I’ve been diagnosed as bipolar with ADHD.

The link to ‘boarding school syndrome’ was very interesting as it covers a lot of diagnosis points for both of the above.

I don’t have kids and it’s not in my plan. But I’ve always said that if I do and – if I can afford to do so – I would send them to boarding school. I truly believed that it gives children a great kick-start in life.

Now I’m not so sure. Whether my state of mind is a result of my schooling or not is something that is impossible to determine. But if I were in your shoes…I’d probably now think very carefully about the lasting mental and emotional implications.

I was a happy boarder. I absolutely loved every second of it. But it’s not a home environment with the love, care and personal attention that goes with a home life.

I was a day pupil at an independent school from the age of 3….we had boarders at age 7. Quite a lot of ’em. My memories of them are that there was a quite a lot of bullying and no female figures to ‘go to’ when they were upset; just a matron. They would tell me about crying themselves to sleep. But they just had to get on with it, really. This was in the 80’s. They seemed to have a better time of it at senior school at 13 when it was Co Ed.

The boys who boarded all the way through were definitely more messed up that the day pupils who had a sense of ‘normality’ from home, I think.

I only know one boarder from that time who, weirdly, lives near me. He was an only child was sent to prep school at 9 , so his parents could improve and enjoy their media careers. His mother was resentful that she’d taken time off after having him and her career had suffered ‘because of him’ – his words, not mine.

Sadly, his dad died of cancer when he was 15 and he never really got to know him because he was away at boarding school. Mother died when he was 35. He’s married with kids and very nice, but has a kind of sadness about him and resents being sent away.

Personally, I wouldn’t dream of sending my children to boarding school. Its a very very strange thing to do.

I guess that it depends on the child, but from my own experience I wouldn’t recommend it.

I spent 2 years in one in the early 80s and despised it.

Bullying was rife amongst the pupils and some of the teachers physically abused the pupils. Horrible people.

The link to boarding school syndrome is interesting.

Let me think now:

Anxiety – tick
Depression – tick
Substance abuse – tick

Plus some of the other symptoms.

I now have 3 of my own children and I would never send them to one. As others have said previously, I would miss them too much.

I was also sent away aged about 10. Bullying, homesickness, nothing as serious as you sometimes read in the papers but it wasn’t a time I look back on with any fondness. To be fair to my parents, the local schools were pretty shit and in contrast the education I received was extremely good, which I’ve benefited from hugely in later life. But my wife went to a decent grammar school where she lived and did just as well out of that. I guess it depends on the options available but I’d view it as more of a last resort than great choice.

I don’t think it’s particularly the cause of my deep-seated psychological problems though, people get screwed up for all sorts of reasons and make up all sorts of excuses for it.

Depends on the child. Some flourish (probably the more extrovert ones) others hate it.
The boarding school was created to serve the Empire. Many have softened their approach and put a huge amount of effort into the pastoral side, but I think for a lot of kids that is a poor substitute for the everyday support and love of a parent.
I taught in one for a year, and learnt that if you as the parent lose your job, and can’t afford the bills any longer, than your kid is out of there pronto. Funny how they are registered as charities.

Wheras I was in boarding school ’93 to ’01 and the issues that most seem to be discussing were well and truly stamped out. The pastoral care was pretty good (yes there was a matron but they were by and large well loved by the vast majority) plus there were other folk you could speak to. Even from then to now I can’t recognise my school, it seems better in that regard even since I was there.

Of course numerous things helped. We were all children of ranked forces personnel so no social pretentions (except the ones whos dad was first on the balcony) , girls were introduced when I went into S2 and a certain ex teacher decided to go to the Express and fabricate the kind of nonsense David Ilke would be proud of.

The opportunities I had would never have been available to me at home and I feel very fortunate I was given the chance. No I didn’t like it all the time but that’s just life. If I met the entry criteria I wouldn’t hesitate to offer my daughter the same.