Trying to work out why service stations toilets seem to have bird song
Music playing in the gents toilets.

Is to help calm you down from rage or has it been scientifically proven to help you go?

You are being stalked by Baby Robins

It’s a flock of lesser spotted loo sparrows. They fill an evolutionary niche as no other species eats urinal blocks.

Haha. They must be shy as I spent ages trying to spot one, but could only hear them

To cover the sound of someone dropping a depth-charge?

Bird song was playing in Tesco today. Not sure why but it was pleasant enough while I coiled one out in the world foods aisle

I have an inkling that mating rhinoceri might be a better soundtrack to the dropping of kids off at the pool.