Has anyone suggested doing it in the flower bed yet?

In what way? Just because I don’t want to wash my bike on a new patio it’s tragic?

It’s a patio ffs, not the Bayeux tapestry. Clean your bike and hose the patio down afterwards. Job done.

Yeah I washed my bike twice on the lawn in December and it looks like it’s been shelled in that spot now, the gardener was incandescent with rage. Seems I’m not allowed to walk on his lawn during winter… I can sense friction ahead when he learns what the kids plans are.

I use the drive now, there’s a drain and I don’t end up with soaking wet shoes.

It’s a patio ffs, not the Bayeux tapestry. Clean your bike and hose the patio down afterwards. Job done.

This. Are you going to cover the patio with some kind of shell when it rains heavily? Is the patio actually inside your house? The pinnacle of First World problems.

I wipe my bike down with our tapestry after I wash it on the patio.

Clean your bike and hose the patio down afterwards. Job done

this.

Assuming by cleaning you don’t mean degreasing with petrol, then igniting the mucky stuff on the patio. That would be bad for the pavers/stones.

Seems the OP didn’t really mind washing the bike down on the patio but his Mrs does?

Can’t blame the guy looking for a work a round?

Some things just aren’t worth the hassle with the OH! Particularly when it’s new bike time. 😉

In other words I see his point.

Every now and then, when I’m compelled to wash a bike (it really doesn’t happen very often) I just hose it down on my decking

I then hose the big gloopy bits of mud off the decking onto the grass or to the edge (the decking is raised a lot above the grass with steps going down, CBA with carrying the bike down the steps

My actual plan is even more cunning. Ride rigid SS in the gloop. No washing needed. Dried on mud falls off next time you ride it, or stays there to protect the bike from the new mud

Some things just aren’t worth the hassle with the OH!

And hassle with some things just isn’t worth staying with the OH!

Are you real – MTFU !!

I have a hook on a post at the end of one of our fences, out of the way at the side of the house. Bellow it I dug down a bit and chucked in some shingle/gravel to make a sort of rudimentary soak away.

I Hang bike by front wheel, hose and scrub from front (top) to back (bottom) then leave it to drip dry. All the water runs off the back wheel and the soak away Works quite well, beats flooding the patio and I hose off muddy clothes and shoes there too…

following one from the cattle trough , what about a Plastic sheep dip? (not the whiskey). Easy to move / store during the summer.

Happy wife is an easy life 🙂

Has anyone suggested doing it in the flower bed yet?

dood, she won’t let him wash his bike; I reckon the hokey-cokey in the border is well out of reach

Some viz top tip suggestions on here, all to keep a garden ‘clean’…. 😆 😆 😆

One solution is get a Mobi V17 Jet Washer and wash the bike somewhere else outside of the garden. Leave the crud elsewhere.

I wash mine on the pavement and hose the mud into the gutter. Every now and then a nice man from the council comes and cleans it all up.

Get a old bath from the tip or a neighbours front garden and put in on the patio. Will stop the patio getting ‘ruined’ from all of the mud. Maybe your wife wouldn’t think walking directly on the patio would be so bad then. 👿

I wash mine on the pavement

Seriously, if you’ve put a new patio in that hasn’t been designed to drain, you got bigger problem than a moaning missus!

If you’re just worrying about staining the patio then wash bike at the edge on a tarp then hose it off, fold up and put it in the shed.

Is that pic above ^^^ the Op’s missus? 8)

Onslo’s house?
it’s a term that’s entered the british lexicon. As in ‘don’t leave that rubbish out the front, we’ll look like Onslo’s house’

😆

What a bizarre thread.

ads678 – Member
Seriously, if you’ve put a new patio in that hasn’t been designed to drain, you got bigger problem than a moaning missus!

Don’t worry about that, it’ll drain nicely into the Aco’s along the front edge.

Judging by some of the replies I’ll just rock up at one of the posters houses and hose it down on the pavement, patio, garden or whatever and walk away 😆

Judging by some of the replies I’ll just rock up at one of the posters houses and hose it down on the pavement, patio, garden or whatever and walk away

Other posters are not your issue matey, growing a pair however….. 😆

Seriously, you’re welcome to clean your bike in my garden on my drive or outside my house. Mainly on account of them all being outside and subject to weather happening already. A bit of dirt from a bike will make bugger all difference and simply wash away.

Judging by some of the replies I’ll just rock up at one of the posters houses and hose it down on the pavement, patio, garden or whatever and walk away

Fine with me, the mud washes away and I’m not on a water meter. You can do it on the patio or the decking, your call.

I’ll just rock up at one of the posters houses and hose it down on the pavement, patio, garden or whatever and walk away

I have an isue with that – if you are going to clean your bike then at least ride it afterwards…the walking part of that is where my issue lies! 😉

Just don’t wash it and put in away in the house dirty, you’ll soon be allowed to use the patio/grass etc for washing it then 😉

I hope you’re not going to say now you’re not allowed it in the house either 😆

Just because I don’t want to wash my bike on a new patio it’s tragic?

Nail on the head.

Some people care about things that I don’t care so much about. Who’d have thought it !

whatyadoinsucka – Member
…my current driveway due to horse Wellies and mtb cleaning is a disgrace.

Neigh wonder.

This is by far the greatest thread I have seen for many a year, it felt like watching the final episode of some multi season US hit drama when I read the final comment…..sad that it was all over!

So I feel it is my duty to resurrect the phoenix that is ‘Man without a real problem, asks wife to invent a problem so he can ask people how he should tackle said problem’

Type away……

I’m having a hot and cold tap installed with a pressure washer. Alongside this is the outdoor shower for me, along from that is the sauna. Not sure why everyone else is going half measures

Man up & wash it on the patio.

That stone has survived a few millennia – I think it’ll survive a bike wash or 2!

I’m having a hot and cold tap installed with a pressure washer. Alongside this is the outdoor shower for me, along from that is the sauna.

A bike drying room, I like your style 8)

This HAS to be a troll. WTAF??? Do you eat dinner directly off the patio or something?

So I feel it is my duty to resurrect the phoenix that is ‘Man without a real problem, asks wife to invent a problem so he can ask people how he should tackle said problem’

I salute you sir. If ever a thread needed resurrecting it was this one. I’ve taken to levitating over my patio in order to ensure no earth touches it.

IHN – Member
To be fair, our lawn is basically moss artisan upcycled synthetic Kentucky bluegrass, so it’s pretty resilient

Ftfy 😆

Hermetically sealing mine & putting it into storage form posterity..