Years ago I remember being forced to watch the snooker.(not a fan, maybe something to do with being colour blind or just cos its boring for too long). Anyway..
At a crucial point in the game a spectators phone rang and the ref shouted to the unfortunate chap,
” answer that and tell them your on your way home!

Once upon a time, many years ago, NME used to have a ‘Smart Ass One-Liner’ piece, the only one I remember was ‘Lowell George knew my father’.
Only makes sense if you were/are familiar with Little Feat.