Not the best, but certainly made me smile. I was walking with a friend through the park on Saturday when we passed a couple with their little boy - he was probably around three or four. He was walking very slowly carrying a large stick, which he had adorned with a clump of shredded paper (no idea where it had come from in the middle of a large park). The father was clearly irritated by having to idle along while the boy balanced the clump of waste on a stick and must have told him to put it down because he didn't need it, because as we drew level the kid asserted "I know I don't need it; but I do want it!!"
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Best one-line snippet of stranger conversation
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Posted 10 months ago #
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This one'll probably not work for everyone...
"Ah buy all ma designer clathes fae Makro"
Posted 10 months ago # -
'I've got a new one, so I've epilated everything underneath my eyebrows'
Posted 10 months ago # -
Last night at work. A prisoner had to be re-located to the Seg unit, he says, 'I'll walk down but don't touch me else I'll knock you's all out' (there was 4 of us, a c&r instructor, a screw who's an ex boxer, an SO who's 6'6", another very experienced ossifer & little old me) He put his shoes on & walked down compliantly. When he got there & we'd put him in the constant obs cell, gobby kid on the opposite side of the landing shouts to matey, 'did they bend you up?' Matey shouts back, 'they tried to'
Had to be there I guess but I pmsl.
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Few years back, we were in some stately home going past some very olde worlde furniture, and the chairs had little signs on saying "Please do not sit on these chairs"
Posh sounding yummy mummy is pulling her two year old tearaway off one of said chairs and saying "I know you can't read yet, but what does that sign say?"
The look on her face as she realised what she'd said, and that a pair of strangers had heard her say it, will remain with me for a long time.
Posted 10 months ago # -
I friend of mine got caught out by by a loud pub band suddenly pausing for dramatic effect. "She's got tits like spaniel's ears" she bellowed, nodding towards the lead singer.
Posted 10 months ago # -
Walking past a couple of girls gossiping at one end of Bristol Bridge: "...and then he ejaculated in my face...."
Mrs M wouldn't let me stop to hear more
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Walking past a hair dressers in London and two of the staff are standing outside having a smoke – as I walk past I hear one of them say to the other ‘I’m one of only three men in the world that can make curly hair straight’
Stopped me in my tracks, but I didn’t want to spoil it by hearing anymore, so walked on giggling to myself!Posted 10 months ago # -
"So I had a spoonful of golden syrup and went straight to bed"
On the phone to the GF earlier, she was telling me what an exhausting day she'd had
Posted 10 months ago # -
"Basically thats why dogs lick their testicles".
Said by an intelligent looking child with glasses to an enthralled younger child.
Posted 10 months ago # -
It's not quite the same but I'm always amused by http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
Posted 10 months ago # -
From a mate
Overhead whilst in a cafe on Camber Sands today. Man orders 5 cups of tea. They arrive. Lady says, "That'll be twelve fifty" and aghast the chap immediately replies, "Facking ell, is that the price or the time?" Nearly spat out my coffee as I snorted at that one...
Posted 10 months ago # -
"How on earth did you let it get to a litre before you went to the doctors..!!?"
Posted 10 months ago # -
Two office girlies on thier lunch.
"I'ts not a show off wedding, but we're getting married in a zoo".Posted 10 months ago # -
Not a stranger, but a work colleague once, trying to describe to a toolmaker the ovality he'd discovered in a machined bore...
"Its ovulating, its clear to see. Its ovulating".Posted 10 months ago #
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