I am best man for my Bro-in-law on Saturday.

What makes a good speech and what makes a Howler?

What do people really want to hear? I dont have any cringeworthy stories or suchlike!

Seen quite a few best man speeches in my line of work recently. It’s about striking the correct balance between being really boring and tame and being slightly embarrassing/risque imo – not an easy job.

BTW you were meant to ask all his other mates for embarrassing stories!

I had to do my brothers. Was a nightmare! If your best man for your bro in law you must have built up a decent enough relationship with him. I’d lay it on thick about how your sisters not good enough or your best/good mate, tongue in cheek of course.

The first lines the hardest.

Best advice anyone ever gave me was “that everyone at the wedding is enjoying themselves and that you don’t have to try and be funny to get laughs. Just don’t say anything really bad!”

I’ve been best man at 2 weddings. Mine were not planned to be the funniest of speeches but they were honest- I didn’t borrow anything from the internet and wrote them the night before the weddings both times. At my brother’s wedding I was one of 2 best men and it was obvious the other guy had been all over best man websites stealing jokes; he still got some laughs but if you’ve been to enough weddings you will end up hearing the same jokes no matter how original you think you are.

Probably best to leave out any surprise stories that are likely to make you lose a presumably best friend (or in your case a soon to be family member). A friend here was on a recent do out in Bulgaria or something like that and the stag got beaten up with a dildo by a hooker the others paid for. Those sort of stories are hilarious at the pub, not sure the older generation would get it though…

Just enjoy it, have a few drinks before if you’re feeling nervous and get on with it!

I did a slideshow last week at my mate’s wedding and had dozens of people coming up to me afterwards saying how funny it was. I started with a simpsonized picture of the groom, and all manner of embarrassing pictures followed. Happy to give you some words from the speech for ideas! Did your brother have any embarrassing posters on his wall as a kid? Was he bullied at school? 🙂

Concentrate on telling a few stories well rather than loads with little detail. Unless you’re going to memorise it put each story or section on a different page as it will help you slow down. Try and focus on events everyone can relate to rather than the 4 people who are in the room who were there when the guy with the odd shaped eyebrow that looked like something walked into the room. Don’t bother with one liners unless you’re good at delivering them. You must have done something with him where it ended up with a daft outcome?

To balance the sideshow I’ve been to two where the best man fumbled around with a projector and brought up pics of the groom potty training etc…..didn’t get many laughs.

Ultimately everyone is on your side even though people will make fun beforehand, don’t try too hard to make people laugh and you’ll be fine.

My best man wrote a poem about me… Very amusing and very him..

“FORNICATION!” oh sorry…. FOR AN OCCASION…………

I have been best man twice, both times I ad-libbed on the day, the first time I was told id be giving a speech around 5, for assorted reasons I didn’t get on until about 11, by this time my Dutch courage had turned into being barely able to stand. I’d avoid that.

The second time I just told some honest stories about me and my mate growing up, including one about him getting nekkid in a youth hostel lounge and falling into our mixed dorm in nz after a night on the sauce waking 20 or so people. The look on his face when i said I’d saved the CCTV footage all that time and could the waiters please bring in the tv was priceless 😆

This will sound cheesy but bear with me…

Like any other communication – remember you are taking the audience on a journey and consider how you want people to feel when they get there! Think of a destination you want to reach and also where the journey begins and then try and map out your ‘route’ using shared experiences, anecdotes of friends and families etc…. If you want to add humour try making people think you are going down one direction and then go somewhere else… If a particular part of your speech does not help you along your journey – then leave it out!

There are also simple rules:
– Speak from the heart
– Always compliment the mothers of the happy couple
– Whatever you do don’t use ‘blue’ humour
– Repeat! Whatever you do don’t use ‘blue’ humour
– Talking about the happy couples past relationships, sexual histories etc… will seldom end well, so don’t do it!
– Wish the happy couple every happiness
– If it’s part of your remit thank those who helped appropriately
– If it’s part of your remit mention those loved ones who could not be there
– Don’t try too hard to be funny! Use dry or restrained humour rather than looking for big laughs.
– Keep the language simple, stick to the point and remain concise – keep sentences short (Unlike me!)
– Write it, speak it and edit it. Read it, speak it and edit again. Practise with a trusted friend, listen to their suggestions and implement them by editing again. Get the emphasis and stresses right by practising the finished result several times!

I was the best man for my brother at a big bash two weeks ago.

My speech was short, had a couple of light jokes in and went down a storm. Didn’t run him down, just kept it sincere.

I found a bit of self-deprecation was the key to mine… If you ever feel you’re in danger of seeming too nasty, put yourself down a little- you’ll be part of the cast in some of the stories, perfect opportunity. You can get away with anything as long as you cut yourself in for some abuse too.

I have started a best mans speech with this, it went down well and set the tone:

“Did you hear about the 2 aerials that met on a roof? The wedding was awful but the reception was fantastic”

On reflection I must have had an easy audience….

Was best man for my mate last year. Speech was made easier after his rather large & inebriated cousin fell off the back of her chair as I was about to utter my first word, she grabbed the table cloth dragging everything off the top table as she fell, candelabra went over setting fire to the table cloth, drinks went all over my prompt cards, she laid on her back with her legs in the air and knickers on show, speech went pretty well after that and I’ve got the perfect story for next time.

The 2 best bits of advice I got:

Everyone is dying to laugh so it’s an easy audience.
Any more than 5 mins is too long.

My two opening lines from the twice I have been best man…

‘Being the best man is a but like being asked to snog the Queen. It is a great honor, but lets us be honest – no one wants to do it…’

and

‘This is the second time today I have stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand…’

everyone at the wedding is enjoying themselves and that you don’t have to try and be funny to get laughs

This.

It’s the single most receptive audience you could ever hope for, everyone is a) really happy and b) half cut.

I’ve made a best man’s speech where I made a World of Warcraft joke and got away with it.

Spins and Cougars advice is sound – these are really important points. Also make sure you speak slowly, clearly and loud enough so everyone can hear you. Sounds really simple but a mate of mine did a speech once and I was sat at the back and could hardly hear him… You can speak a lot slower than you think you can.

I had about 4 pints of stella before I did a speech a couple years back and it was just about spot on as a level of tipsy’ness for a speech. I guess drinking beforehand is not for everyone though…

Done a few Best Man’s speeches; the one I enjoyed delivering the most and had the best impact was a poem, a fairly edgy one at that! It was the easiest to deliver too.

Don’t write it all out and then read it off the page. Just write cues on a card each and work through them. Doesn’t have to be detailed, just enough to remind you what you’re meant to be saying. You can get away with old cheesy gags as openers, everyone’ll be expecting one anyway. Round off with some complimentary stuff about the happy couple, do the toast, job done.

SHORT speech

SHORT speech

ok? 🙂

I used the Internet to get some format, ie things meant to do like toasts and letters from those unable to attend. The thrust of the rest of it was to tell a few stories pointing out both good and amusing points of the grooms character. Photos on slide show can be good but only do a few and as above keep it short.

Just done a best mans speech for a good friend on the weekend.

I looked on the net and found the same tired old jokes seemed to be frequently repeated. By all means pretty harmless and likely to get a laugh but probably heard before none the less.

Whatever you do don’t explain that you and the groom have been through a lot together. Most of them are sitting on the table at the rear of the room 😯 – as was said at a recent wedding my friend attended

Thanks for all the tips. Short is good – I can deffo do that.

My Wife wrote some stuff down to inspire me (it’s her brother) and generally it was downright insulting. What’s written here makes a lot more sense. Short and sweet -uplifting. Don’t mention the ….

I went to one last week and his Brother used a laptop against the wall/projector with a simple flickr slideshow and talked everyone through embarrasing photos chronologically. Worked really well. Then when they had finished, recapped about him in general.

For me- thats a sure winner. As no one is a stand up comic etc.

Or why not just make it a chronological story of when they first met, your thoughts on him then and how it evolved as a story?

I don’t/wouldn’t go for gossip/really cringeworthy stuff though to offend etc. No one would really enjoy that.

After the speech at the last wedding I attended I was left with the impression that the bride had just married a dislikable munter, so although traditional I’m not sure character assassination is necessarily best way forward.

If part of your job is to read some absentee cards – add a couple of spoofs. Try to find some embarassing stuff that only his mates know about – and bring it up via the cards.
No blue humour as above.
A bit of music – what would be ‘their tune’ and have 3 or 4 short snippets?
Good luck