Best man at a wedding in April. Done it once before and nerves really got to me. Any tips on what to say or advice on how to get over nerves?

Drinking several pints before delivering the speech should deal with the nerves for you. And make it more entertaining for everyone else.

Time is tight but you can make this work.

Write your speech out in full and then record it on an ipod/mp3 player (OK, I did mine on cassette tape, it was a long time ago!!)

Play it back at every opportunity, in the car, on the train, out running, etc., so it becomes like your favourite film where you can recite passages over and over.

Then write cue cards with key words for each section, so you have the skeleton of the speech. Then you can use these to keep you on track but the rest is a mix of reciting and ad libbed, so it remains fresh. Better like that with a few pauses and erms that just reading something out.

For the speech – keep it clean(ish), depends on the audience but remember the mate’s jokes might not go well with the elderly maiden aunt. It should be like a young lady’s skirt – long enough to cover the important points but short enough to be interesting.

Re the nerves. Do remember everyone there wants you to do well; no-one wants to watch someone struggle excrutiatingly. A couple of well timed jokes / funny anecdotes and everyone wants to laugh. DON’T resort to Dutch Courage – don’t have a drink until after your duties are done, and that hopefully will involve a few minutes after when everyone comes up and says well done for a great speech.

Cheers. I just want to get it over with, I’m awful talking in front of crowds, just want it short and sweet and not mess it up and look a prat.

Re the nerves. Do remember everyone there wants you to do well; no-one wants to watch someone struggle excrutiatingly…

Great advice there. I did a BMS for the first time a couple of weekends ago and while I wouldn’t advocate getting bladdered beforehand, one or two (but no more!) can “help” to just smooth the nerves. There are lots of things to help on the internet of course, but would use the material as a base rather than verbatim. Getting a bit of a self-deprecating gag in early can get things off well and settle your nerves with a few chuckles, eg. “normally the best man’s speech is a collection of tenuous, incoherent stories that no one understands or finds funny; well I’m pleased to say I won’t be straying from that format this evening”. Except choose something funnier than that 😉

I think that warm and heartfelt trumps rude and edgy every time, but I guess that depends on your relationship with the groom. Getting outlines of some amusing childhood anecdotes from siblings can also be great not least because it takes the heat off you having to come up with material and being responsible for it 🙂

Anyway good luck with it. And enjoy it!

I think nerves can be useful, to a degree – you just need to keep a positive head on and stay in control of them, don’t let them control you. I wouldn’t drink beforehand personally but YMMV. As above, always remember you have the most sympathetic audience you will ever have, no-one will mind if it’s not perfect and everyonecwill want to enjoy it. 🙂

It’s a wedding – everyone is there to have a good time. It’s a very warm audience…no need to worry

Avoid the cliches – dirty jokes and awful anecdotes – best left in movies and TV

Mix some humour with sincerity. If in doubt keep it short. Highlight three characteristics about the groom and elaborate on the theme and why that will make them both happy.

Practise as ^

Enjoy it , everyone else does!

Make sure you speak first ! I had an usher a son and a father in law speak before mine and they said everything I was going to. Not good but I just went along with it.

Cue cards – don’t ‘read’ from a typed sheet.
Did one in November…the FOTB went first, then the groom, then BM 1, BM 2…then me.
I thought I’d be fine but the nerves ramped up as each person did theirs and I stumbled my way through.
Got laughs where I didn’t expect then no sometimes no laughs when I did!
So relieved it was done. Then there was lots of beer.
I know this hasn’t helped! Take your time and try not to think about it. Keep it short and relevant. Job done!

I did one a few years ago and it was a real success (honestly).
Don’t let the truth get in the way of good story. People want to enjoy your speech and have a good laugh so spice up any dull ‘thank you’s’ with outright lying and embellishment !
I knew I was going to be nervous as hell, so didn’t even bother to try to memorise the speech, I read it. This works if you read a bit and then look out at the audience, read bit more, etc. etc. Don’t place the paper flat on the table and then just steam through it with your head down.
After the laughter has died down, round of your speech with a syrupy heartfelt message to the bride and groom and jobs good ‘un !
Best of luck.

There are loads of videos on YouTube and example speeches on the Internet. Divulge these then remember to not use ANY of their material. Witnessed so many speeches with lazy unoriginal re-hashed jokes…

Visual gags are good tho. When I did it the groom was an electrician, I joked that we were only in this room because he re wired the place so got it cheap,, I had ushers on standby to make a loud bang through the speakers and turn all the lights out on cue! Went down a treat!

Thanks for this, glad it’s not just me who’s nervous as hell!

My advice is…

Speak from the heart. Simple, clear message. As said above, 2-3 themes running through it and a couple of clean, but amusing anecdotes to bring it alive (Like a 650b wheel does to a trail…). Nice, thoughtful closer again as said above.

I memorised it, but had it written out longhand in case.

Mine was my bro’s, so I was extra desperate to not mess it up.

Read it over and over again out loud off paper. Get all the formalities out the way first by thanking everyone for coming, bridesmaides look beautiful but not as beautiful as the bride etc. Its likes telling a story of how the couple started and got to where they are today.

Dont just hammer the groom like you’re out with the lads, try and tell stories that show the journey they’ve been on. So find out about first dates and any embarrassing stuff thats happened between them.

Done it twice

Some crap jokes are expected

Remember tonight when you sink into his arms, next week your arms will be in his sink.

Also some thing that went wrong during in the day is also good,

Don’t forget to look at the audience dont peer down into notes etc.

After my best man did the usual bits at the start he began the speach proper by saying
“We were on our way to the church today speaking about everything we’d been through and how glad we are none of them are here today”

That got things off to a good start

daviek – Member
After my best man did the usual bits at the start he began the speach proper by saying
“We were on our way to the church today speaking about everything we’d been through and how glad we are none of them are here today”

That got things off to a good start

Lolz 😆

You must use the classic opening line.

this is the second time today I have stood up from a warm seat, with a piece of paper in my hand…

Half the room collapsed when I used it, but the brides father was not impressed…

YMMV but I like to get into the room where I’m going to speak- it’s one less thing to react to/give you a surprise. I just feel a bit more comfortable when I know exactly where I’ll be, where others will be etc.

It’s a wedding speech so feel free to use all the notes you need, sod it.

I’ve done a few and use photos. Get hold of about 8 photos spanning the Groom’s life that you can build a story around. Print a set off for each table and put them in envelopes with instructions not to be opened until BM’s speech. A picture paints a thousand words and really helps you to bring the audience along with you (embarrassing baby phots and student phots are an easy laugh).
As has been said, everyone is routing for you but more than anything keep it short. They’re full of food and booze and have already listened to half an hour of speeches. Get in and out quick and prioritise heart felt emotion over baudy humour.

I’ve done this twice, once for my brother which was easy as it was a small wedding and I knew 2/3 of the audience.

The second time was for my best mate who had a big wedding in the Philippines and it was a completely different experience! I knew about 6 people in the room and the other 200 were complete strangers. My nerves weren’t too bad until my mate remembered he should have told me I had been volunteered to be master of ceremonies!

I was visually shaking during the first couple of intros, to the point where my mates brother took me to one side, gave me a beer and told me to relax. Not sure if it was the beer or a friendly face giving me some support but after that I calmed down a bit and it was a lot easier.

So, long story short, have a beer beforehand but don’t get pissed until after you finish!