Junkyard needs to pass the prize onto Holdsteady’s WVM.

After the usual sort of thing (angry honking from a motorist who was unable to straight-line a mini-roundabout due to the selfish, inconsiderate presence of a cyclist legally and properly using the same junction), the motorist pulled up next to where I had stopped a little further on.

Obviously reaching for the worst insult he could muster, if not the most relevant, or evidence-based, before driving off with ostentatious wheelspin, out he called at me:

PAEDOPHILE!!

I was riding around a car which the owner had parked in the middle of a narrow residential street, with cars on both sides already. She got out just as I was passing and called me a pervert.

I’m still confused by it two years later.

“GET OFF THE ROAD YOU CANT”

Not particularly inventive from a 3 series knob end last Tuesday morning on the way to work, guess who my first customer of the morning was? He didn’t get a great deal on his tyres but he was too embarrassed to ask for discount!

cycling up marford hill wrexham a few years ago, lgv pulled along at side of me, passenger aked “if i was hot and thirsty mate”, and before i could answer poured a bottle of cola over me, 10 miles to go hot sweaty and a bee magnet all the way home.

Recently from some local youth sitting on a bench:

“Oi, cyclist!”

Observant…

“looking good, lads!”

Shouted at us by a woman of about our age driving past in a Qashqai only yesterday.

As not particularly youthful looking blokes aged 39 & 40, we were surprised, but not too offended….

Probably get the ‘should be on the cycle path’ every other week, whilst actually riding on the cycle path.

A few weeks ago I had the passenger of a white van have a go at me, “Oi you just hit my wing mirror” I should have said “yes that’s right, whilst I was riding inside the designated cycle lane which you ignored so you could squeeze past I purposely hit your wing mirror with the back of my rucksack” instead all I could manage was f-off.

Most vexing one was when a women in a convertible let me out at a junction and then pulled alongside at the next lights;

me “thanks for letting me out back there”
her “no problems, I’d rather look at your arse than your face”

Given she was at least 20 years younger than me, I’m still taking that as a compliment!

Not sure I’ve ever actually caught what any of the **** chimps is trying to say, so “uuggghhh, ugghhnnnnghhhhhh”

“118! Got your number!”

Which is strange because I don’t have a moustache

Junkyard needs to pass the prize onto Holdsteady’s WVM.

Not really, as the van driver was both accurate and amusing – zero BS content

“118! Got your number!”

Which is strange because I don’t have a moustache

I’ve had random TV catchphrases a few times – I think it’s that they get the urge to shout something, so shout whatever leaps into their head first.

“Wheelie!!”
This from a 10 year old kid, as we rode past. On the tandem.

No car window involved but was tandeming by the canal when an old bloke in a canoe with his wife shouted “She’s not pedalling at the back”.

I was just too far away, unfortunately, when the riposte “And she’s not paddling at the back” came to me. But feel free to use it should the circumstance arise.

Favourite has been “out of the you road you pr*ck” just as the Fiat Punto driver that shouted it drive straight into the traffic island in the middle of the road.

Whilst riding overnight from Manchester to London, about 2am, someone clearly off their head near Coventry, staggered out into the road, just pointed at and said “…you…you..you…you’ve got wheels on”!!

Had a lady of about 60 pull alongside me at lights and told me she’d like to “rubs my thighs”.

Other than that, had a lit cigarette, a mcDonalds milkshake and a pair of pants thrown at me to!! Unfortunately, the pants were mens!

We unfortunately spooked a horse & rider the other week.

Once we had approached rather gingerly, she accused us of trying to kill her. We apologised and tried to make our way past.

She then told us that we, as cyclists, had no right to be on the bridleway

We politely pointed out to her that it was a public bridleway

She then started ranting on that we weren’t allowed on the path because she owned the farm, and that the path was part of the farm, therefore, we shouldn’t be there

She wouldn’t let us past so we rode across the field, which then brought another tirade of abuse for a good few minutes!

Bloody nutter!

Classic years ago was” Get off and Milk it mate “

Most recent out of open window as i was spinning away up steep hill in my own world “Faster your going backwards “.

The joy of wearing headphones is that I’ve never heard anything. I’ve had a moron grinning inanely at me a couple of times, clearly proud of his witty bantz, but never yet heard any of it. I feel I’m missing out!

Never had anything thrown at me, and shouting incidents can’t be more than 3 ever. Where do some of you ride?!

Had a lady of about 60 pull alongside me at lights and told me she’d like to “rubs my thighs”

Haha.

The woman of similar vintage (rather than the younger, attractive one) who works at my office reception once made a similar remark about me as i walked past in my cycling clothes. I felt as if was being objectified, of course. Counselling helped eventually.

I did wonder what would have happened if had made such a comment to one of the women at work…

I’ve just remembered that I was once waiting at traffic lights when a woman of about 50 (I was about 30) in a 4×4 lowered her window and said, “ooh, that’s a bright top you are wearing”. She had a distinctly flirty look in her eye. 😆

She wasn’t hot.

Had a CD thrown at me.

Had a lady yelling at me as we both traveled at 35mph inches away – turns out my saddle bag had fallen off

walking to pick up my kids after school wearing a smartish jacket and jeans probably a man bag, looking a bit Clarkson tbh. Corsa drives by kid shouts out the window “oy business ****”

i had non idea how to respond but to be fair he had a point.

I usually just get “RAAAAAAH” shouted at me by a passenger sticking their head out of the window.
I often get mistaken for a bloke when I’m on my MTB for some reason.

A bit similar to Junkyard and this was about 3 weekends ago on a quiet country lane in the middle of nowhere,

A loud toot of the horn followed by “are you ******* Stupid, I’m a vehicle your suposed to pull over for me,

To which I replied, are you ****** stupid, this is a vehicle as well, oh and your on the phone,

He then offered his services as the great distributor of death as he vowed to kill me?

I could only reply with, look at you you fat useless **** you look like your about to have a gripper, shall I phone for an ambulance or would you prefer the air ambulance, at this point he looked at his phone which was now in his lap, picked it up and then spoke into it, Mum I’ll have to ring you back…….. I just started laughing,

It was a 61 plate Black Nissan Nirvana,
He sped off and knocked me off my bike, due to not having any injuries the Police refused to even speak to this fool.

“RUPERT!”

While walking along wearing a red fleece and checkered trousers…. I never made that mistake again.

“Can’t you afford a car?”
Shouted slightly inquisitively by a 7yr old girl as I was struggling up a 15% hill.
Irony is at the time I owned 2 cars which collectively were worth a fraction of what my bike cost.

“dangerous hooligan” yelled by an elderly gent brandishing one of those walking poles as I came to a complete stop to let him and his group pass. I was rather confused so just gave him a military salute and grinned.

Similar incident whilst out riding with friends. Chap of about fifty blocked the descent we were on by standing in the middle and holding out two walking poles at arms length whilst yelling lots of abuse. All bar one of us stopped. One friend just bellowed “coming through” and the man had to dive to one side,straight in to some bushes. He was not a happy chap. Don’t condone my friends behavior btw

😆

In French speaking Switzerland I’ve heard “PEDALE!” a few times. It can be construed as a shout of encouragement but it’s also a derogatory term for homosexual..

haha a fun read this thread.

I commute home up a fairly evil road climb (14% at the steepest part) – often with a 6 year on a tagalong attached.

On the whole car drivers are respectful as I chug my way up the hill at 6pm. (as I try and encourage the 6 year old to DO SOME PEDALLING!)

One day as I am on the steepest part – I hear vigorous shouting clearly directed at us. Can’t hear the details due to the noise of the cars.

Ignore it and keep on trucking. At the top of the hill I make it past the queueing cars (past the car that yelled at me) and cross the road. Meanwhile the offending car zooms past with the window open.

Bracing myself for round 2 of abuse – here it comes

“Brilliant effort – well done – keep going!!”

They’d been trying to encourage me all along – a positive heckle. Really made my day and reminded me that people notice us cyclists out there trying to do things differently.

TM

i have had a group of lads cheer me up a short steep ramp, even though they were taking the piss I felt like I was in a grand tour for a few seconds.

Boringly I’ve had few encounters, “nice arse mate” & “MAMIL!” being the most popular. But then I try to ride alone and in sparsely populated areas.

Worst is in Town, as you’d expect. Abuse ranges from “**** off Bradley”, “bloody cyclists”, “oi, get in the cycle lane” and when it’s been raining “ha! you look wet, get a car you tosser”. I get more abuse from other cyclists than taxi/uber/truck/chauffeur types, mostly “put some effort in”, “don’t brake I’m on your wheel”, or from the commuter crowd on the CS3 .. “c’mon, cross the **** lights you ****”
(I’m hoping the swear filter picks up the nasties)

Years ago I went through a phase of having coke cans/McDonald’s take aways/cassette tapes thrown at me in deepest rural Shropshire whilst on training rides, it was the early 90’s and it seemed to be a time for stuff being thrown rather than verbal abuse.

“How much space do you need? Eh? D’ya think yer a ****** artic or something?”

‘S’up up ****’

As a fiesta of chav’s pulled alongside me and unleashed two supersoakers of piss at me. From the flavour I think one of them had consumed a lot of cider before relieving himself……

I’ve had the “your wheel’s going round” quite a few times – usually from teenage lads trying to ‘impress’ the girls they’re with.

Most of the time it’s just tooting.

I did get my arse slapped years ago by a car full of girls on the way into uni, which I thought was quite funny.

Also had the remains of someone’s lunch box thrown at me, as a car came past – giggling kids in the back found it hilarious.
Annoyingly, the level crossing in the next village was up; which is the first time I have seen it in the up position upon my approach to it for about a decade, whether in the car or on the bike!

while doing some L2B training on my BMX i had a white van all shout

“BMX Boys have a lot of fun”

I had to laugh 🙂

“Pay some bloody road tax”

While on a sportive through Cambridge, we had just passed the travellers site that this car pulled out of, the next vehicle (transit towing a caravan) out passed me on the wrong side of a width restriction forcing oncoming traffic to stop, then it swung back across the road forcing me to brake so I wasn’t side-swiped by the bloody shed on wheels.

My cart costs £290 a year road tax too!

Was riding up a steep road hill on my single speed when a guy in a highways maintenance truck shouted “get on the f**king cycle path you c**t”

I caught up with him at the top off the hill as he pulled into the ‘works’ area, he was one of the guys working on building the cycle path which at that time was un-surfaced and fenced off.

I asked him how I was supposed to ride on the cycle track that he was still building, his mates started to take the pi** big time and as I rode off he shouted “fair enough but I still think all cyclists are c**ts”.

Considered reporting it to the firm doing the work but couldn’t be bothered as I assumed I get the same attitude.

get on the f**king cycle path you c**t

I had similar about a year ago from a local builders firm, along with a tirade of other abuse. I must have held him up for 30 seconds or so.

Thankfully they had quite a memorable name. After a minutes googling, for the next 6 months I took great pleasure in arranging weekly appointments for them to go out & quote for.

“This is a car!”

Just after midnight and riding over Buttertubs on the first Yorkshire Dale 300 – shit 15 year old fiesta 1.1 passes, teenager leaning out the window shouts “povvo!” (a word of northern derivation implying that one is ‘impoverished’ or poor)

This made me laught as at the time I was riding a titanium hardtail, with an XX1 groupset and carbon wheels – it would be interesting to know just how much more that bike was worth than the £500 fiesta they were driving.